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September 3rd, 2010 — restaurant reviews
Patrizia’s
170 Water Street
Plymouth, Ma 02360
508-747-0015
I was having dinner at the Village Landing the other night and my friend Steve kept raving about a restaurant around the corner.
I asked him to do a guest review. When you are passionate about something, the world should know. I warned him though that when Monty rates a restaurant high, sometimes you cannot get in the door for awhile.
Here is What Steve has to say:
As a resident of Plymouth for over 14 years now I have seen many restaurants come and go. A new and rising star looks to be staying for a while. The restaurant is called Patrizia’s Trattoria and it is located in Village Landing near the Radisson Hotel. Maybe you have guessed at this point that this is an Italian restaurant. But don’t be fooled you will not find any chicken parmigiana (sorry Mom) or spaghetti and meatballs, both of which I love. Their food is “truly Italian”. My in-laws have been to Italy numerous times and this is their new favorite Italian restaurant on the south shore. The restaurant is very small and quaint but does have a large outside seating area with a canopy. And if you are thinking of sitting at the bar and enjoying your meal get there early. There are only 6 or 7 seats.
I am huge fan of veal (sorry mom, not sure why I am saying that here. I just feel like I should apologize for enjoying veal). One of my favorites is their veal wallets, which are medallions of veal with prosciutto and mozzarella in a white wine sauce. The veal just melts in your mouth. But there is a certain sadness to eating this dish. Because every bite you chew you realize you are one bite closer to an empty plate. My wife tries to stay on the healthy side and will usually favor their swordfish.
All of their dishes are very well presented and are robust with flavor. The prices are not cheap, but you will thoroughly enjoy your meal. Make sure you put Patrizia’s on your list of new places to try. Don’t forget to call first for a reservation because there is not much room to stand around.
Steve
Side note. Steve is over 250 pounds and has a constant food stain on the front of his shirt, so you and I know, that this dude knows his food.
I have actually scene him drool on a menu.
September 3rd, 2010 — rants
It seems like new restaurants are popping up like mushrooms after a rainstorm in Plymouth.
Plymouth is now a restaurant destination.
I tried the new Waterfront cafe @ the Village Landing, across from the East Bay Grill.
I liked it. I had not been there since it was Iguana’s. My kid always liked Iguana’s. I think it was the name. Nothing has changed much but the name and the food. The food is much better and they seem to have a customer to server ratio of 3-1. They had tons of waitstaff and they were all really charming and eager to serve you.
The part I like best is the over sized bar on the second floor overlooking the harbor. There is outside seating in good weather, with bar seating for a casual drink while watching some sports on the TV.
I hear that the bar pizza is terrific. It appeared to be a favorite. Ask for it slightly burnt on the edges.
My friend Bob got the thinly sliced fresh tuna with wassabi. It looked fantastic. I wish I liked tuna. Tuna is like a bloody Mary to me. They look delicious, but I just don’t like the taste.
I had the wedge for an appetizer along with the pork chop. All were very good. I washed my meal down with 10 Captain’s and diet coke, along with a espresso Martini.
One last comment: Everyone is upstairs eating and drinking, but the bathrooms are on the first floor by the door. Just a little annoying and weird.
September 2nd, 2010 — rants
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got a couple of folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.”
Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
“No,” Obama said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer, and I don’t think I could do that all day long.”
The devil led him to the door of the next room.
In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
“No, this is no good; I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,” commented Obama.
The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, “Yeah man, I can handle this.”
The devil smiled and said .. . . . .
(This is priceless…)
“OK, Monica, you’re free to go.”
September 1st, 2010 — rants
Well summer is almost over, although you would not be able to tell with a week of 90+ weather.
I am still out of commission. Charlie Manson tells me it will be two more weeks before my engines are in.
Not much to report from the docks.
Boobie oar and pamela are back. Suspiciously, Tommy Boy and Veronica are MIA ever since his stint on YouTube.
Charlie and Fee Fee are back from Falmouth. It must be great to have a boat that actually can leave the dock.
a couple of things did happen. One, there was a huge tie up of boats in the back river on Sunday, They were all on The chef’s hook.
two, Myself, buffy and Muffy and Alec and demi all got fucked up bad on Friday night. We started with a beef fest on the back of my boat, and it soon turned into a booze fest till 2:30 AM. I drank a whole quart of the captain with only one 16 ounce bottle of DC to wash it down. I was really hurt on Saturday. I should not have been working with power tools.
That brings me to my tale of woe. I was helping the chef polish his boat with my binford 5000 polisher. I was waxing away on the port side, when I nicked the line on the outrigger.( with the power locked on) well the line spun around the wheel like 30 times, it busted off the outrigger after pulling me off my feet. The line was wrapped around my hand and was trying to sever my hand in half. I was screamin oooh oooh oooh cut the power cut the power.
Someone finally cut the power and we were able to cut the line off my hand after like 10 minutes. I am a dope! sorry no pictures were taken.
Anyway next weekend is Labor day and we are waiting for hurricane earl. I am sure that there will be a hurricane party on the dock for sure.
For anybody who is interested, Cory’s bachelor party will be leaving the dock on 9/11 at 5:00 in a bus. If you are interested, talk to me or someone on the dock. There should be plenty of room.
September 1st, 2010 — rants
1073 Main Street
Weymouth, Ma
781-803-2691
Finally, a great restaurant in Weymouth. For a city of over 60,000 people, it has always amazed me that they do not have one decent restaurant. All the towns around them do. Geez even Rockland has Bella’s.
I had the chance to try out the new Stockholders the other night. Parking was good, and the look of the place was very nice. It was busy, and in the beginning, the early crowd was a little old. I felt like I was at the Joppa grill, but as the early birds left, a younger and hipper crowd arrived and hung at the bar and were seated in the nicely done dining area.
I sat at the bar and was quickly waited on and was satisfied to see a bank of tv’s. ( this was great as the Pat’s preseason game was about to start) The service was spectacular. They offered you a taste of their house wine to see if you liked it ( nice touch).
I carefully watched as apps and entree’s rolled out. Big portions and they all looked scrumptious.
I perused the menu, which was EASY to read and offered something for everyone. The prices were more than fair. I was told that it was like dining at Abe & Louie’s at half the price. That might be a fair statement. a little exaggerated, but none the less a fair statement.
I had the buffalo chicken wings for an app and the scrod for dinner. Both were very good. I kinda wished I had the beef. I asked everyone around who got the beef how it was and they all gave it a thumbs up. My friends got the stacked statler chicken,
stacked chicken
Do yourself a favor and go to the Stockholders in Weymouth. The owner is Kevin Hynes and he should be there to greet you. Ask him how they got the name stockholders, it is a great story, and might be a clue on why the food and service is soooo good.
Monty
Stockholders story….Patriot Ledger
Tell Kevin Monty sent you and avoid any waiting…
September 1st, 2010 — rants
Are you ready for this? I have been holding off on my prognostications for awhile now. I was pretty sure where this was all going, but after watching the last three preseason games, I am sure of the Patriots outcome.
Do not be surprised, it has been slowly coming the last 5 years.
The Patriots will end up no better than 7-9. They will in fact miss the playoffs and in those 7 wins, they will simply outscore the opponent.
The Patriots as a whole are the LEAST talented team in the NFL. They get by on their coach and their QB.
They have the worst defense in the NFL
Come on Monty you say. No really through 6-8 years of awful drafting, and the lack of picking up any decent free agents, they have decimated this team. They have had a couple of good trades. Which brings me to the question of why they do not use the stockpile of picks to get real proven players. You hear all the time that this super star or that will be yours for a second rounder. Hell we have 3-4 seconds every year. Use them on the likes of Braylon Edwards and some other studs. Why waste a pick on Jonathan Wilhite ( #24 is the worst corner in the league) or marquis Hill or Chad Jackson, or Ron Brace. ( should I go on).
Think about the Pats DEFENSE.
We have rookie corners, unproven safeties, one decent linebacker( Mayo) and one decent lineman(Wilfolk). If you are a fantasy player, when your team plays the Pats, you should rack up the points.
Ole Bobby Kraft the skinflint refuses to pay for talent, and Bill the Narcissist refuses to hire coordinators, or talent evaluators.
This team is imploding.
The best player on the team besides Brady is a kicker.
I hate to say it, but the pats are going to get their asses kicked all over the field this year……
Look for scores like 38-35 45-38. It will be like arena league football.
When they start losing, the team will fall apart, They have little or no character players left.
As a former 27 year season ticket holder, I have officially abandoned ship.
Monty
August 30th, 2010 — rants
August 26th, 2010 — rants
Bicycle Clinic
77 Pleasant Street
South Weymouth, Ma 02190-2409
I went looking for a bike the other day. I had not bought a bike in oh say 20 years. The last bike I bought was one of those mountain bikes. They are great for riding in the woods, but out on the roads they are not much fun and not very fast.
I went into this process with a lot of trepidation. I am in my 50′s and I weigh almost 250 pounds.
I do go to spinning class and I do at least 30 minutes a day on the stationary bike, but I was not sure I wanted to join the throngs of bikers on the roads with the pointy helmets, glow in the dark shirts and the stretchy pants.
I guess the real thing that bothered me was that the bike seats resemble a wedge the size of a banana. OUCH!
I met with Joe Fucille the owner who set my mind at ease and screwed on an appropriate sized seat. He schooled me on the proper size bike for my biking needs and even asked if I wanted to go for a ride some Sunday.
Overall I was very pleased with the selection of bikes and the outstanding service I received at the bicycle clinic in South Weymouth.
Steer clear of the oversized guy in the oversized seat when you are in your car.
August 25th, 2010 — rants
What is loss of consortium?
The definition is in simple terms:
the inability of one’s spouse to have normal marital relations, which is a euphemism for sexual intercourse. Such loss arises as a claim for damages when a spouse has been injured and cannot participate in sexual relations for a period of time or permanently due to the injury, or suffers from mental distress, due to a defendant’s wrongdoing, which interferes with usual sexual activity. Thus, the uninjured spouse can join in the injured mate’s lawsuit on a claim of loss of consortium, the value of which is speculative, but can be awarded if the jury (or judge sitting as trier of fact) is sufficiently impressed by the deprivation.
Are you serious. It seems that every time someone files a lawsuit, they claim loss of consortium.
You slip in a parking lot- loss of consortium
someone yells at you- Loss of consortium
You burn yourself- Loss of consortium
You find a bug in your soup- Loss of Consortium
your boss yells at you- loss of Consortium
You get fired- Loss of Consortium
Do you see where this is going? No matter what the lawsuit is, someone is complaining that they are not getting laid and they want money for it.
Do you know what causes loss of consortium? ANSWER: Marriage
Loss of consortium starts when you get married.
When did the term consortium become a euphemism for getting laid?
I can hear it now. A guy calls home and says ” Hey honey, be ready when I come home. Wear that red teddie, we are going to have some wild consortium”
Do you think for a Monty minute, that if some guy burns his finger at the local McDonald’s that he is going to stop consorting with his wife. She starts kissing his neck after a few wines and slowly runs her hands down his shaven chest towards his quivering member, and just then he says I am sorry honey. I cannot EVER consort again with you. I burned my finger at McDonald s.
It is all carp….
August 25th, 2010 — rants
Wanted: Towel thief
I am looking for the guy who stole my towel at the gym. I know no one believes me when they see me, but, I go to the gym everyday.
NOT because I like to workout, BUT because i like to gang shower with fat elderly sweaty men every day.
Seriously, if that last thought was not enough to make you gouge your eyes out, imagine that one of these guys stole my towel. I use the same type every day. white with 2 blue stripes on either end.
Not sure why someone would steal it in the first place. I have been using it or another like it daily for years now.
I am also not sure if I want it back after someone else has used it.
So if you have my towel, or if you have information leading up to the arrest and conviction of the towel stealer, I am offering a $25.00 reward.
Ha Ha ha seriously I know who dun it! The guy was so upset, I need to mess with him a little bit…
Monty
August 24th, 2010 — rants
THE ROOM WAS FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN WITH THEIR PARTNERS. THE CLASS WAS IN FULL SWING.
THE INSTRUCTOR WAS TEACHING THE WOMEN HOW TO BREATHE PROPERLY AND WAS
TELLING THE MEN HOW TO GIVE THE NECESSARY ASSURANCE TO THEIR PARTNERS AT THIS STAGE OF THE PREGNANCY.
SHE SAID “LADIES, REMEMBER THAT EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOU. WALKING IS ESPECIALLY BENEFICIAL. IT STRENGTHENS THE PELVIC MUSCLES AND WILL MAKE DELIVERY THAT MUCH EASIER!”
SHE LOOKED AT THE MEN IN THE ROOM, “AND GENTLEMEN, REMEMBER — YOU’RE IN THIS TOGETHER — IT WOULDN’T HURT YOU TO GO WALKING WITH HER.”
THE ROOM SUDDENLY GOT VERY QUIET AS THE MEN ABSORBED THIS INFORMATION.
THEN A MAN AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM SLOWLY RAISED HIS HAND.
“YES?” ANSWERED THE TEACHER.
“I WAS JUST WONDERING. IS IT ALL RIGHT IF SHE CARRIES A GOLF BAG WHILE WE WALK?”
August 24th, 2010 — rants
Slow week on the docks. I mean real slow.
No one was around.
Missing persons report:
Boobie Oar
Charlie manson
Thirst -N- Howl
Percy and Switch
JOJO
Slushers
Swibby
Tommy Boy
almost everybody
The M&M’s did come back from their two week vacation. Boy were they surprised to find that partiers have taken up residence on C dock.
boaters that actually crack a beer. This might drive them to A dock for some piece and quiet.
I do not have a picture, but the crew from the all Wright never wavered in the rain. They were out 24/7 under their 10 foot pop up tent. They are the real troopers. Along with freddie in his Blue bucket hat ( another missed kodak moment)
We do have a little news to report. The crew of the Karma won the south shore Tuna tournament in the kids division. They caught a 86 pound tuna on a white squid rig with a #80 Penn reel. Congrats. I wish I liked TUNA.
My engines are still out of action. I have no clue when they will be back in, but when they do, I am taking a long ride. Being dock bound sucks.
Let’s hope that next weekend brings some more action.
FYI the swallows were back in force on Sunday. thousands of them swarmed the boats shitting on everything in sight. I had to clean the bow of the boat three times. Bleach helps, as I think their diet consists of purple grapes.
Monty
August 23rd, 2010 — rants
Subject: Steve Wynn – You must see this
Who is Steve Wynn, and why is he saying this? He is a Billionare
Casino owner…..
What’s amazing is that CNBC aired this—CNBC, one of the WH’s favorite
propaganda machines!
It was not even 2 hours after Steve Wynn’s interview that he received
a invitation from the tenants at 1600 Pennsylvania blvd, Washington ,
DC . 20500 wanting him to explain in person why he said what he said
!!!
Below is a short interview with Steve Wynn. Some of you know of him.
He’s a Multi Billionaire, Hotelier and Real Estate Investor in Las
Vegas , Asia and Macau . He’s been a guest from time to time on all
the network financial news programs.
If you listen to this recent CNBC interview (short & to the point) and
nothing else today, you will be better informed than your neighbor
about the state of the union.
I would suggest sharing this with your children so they know what to
expect once they’re faced with the results.
http://www.infowars.com/steve-wynn-takes-on-washington/
August 23rd, 2010 — rants
“YOU DA MAN!” TEST
In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B. Your blood test results
C. Five tequila slammers
You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don’t miss Sports Center
Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing to which your wife/girlfriend would agree.
C. Not the sort of thing about which your wife/girlfriend need ever to find out.
Spending the whole night cuddling a woman with whom you’ve just had sex is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. No concern to you.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.
You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A Moron.
Foreplay is to sex as:
A. Appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. “I hope we can still be friends.”
B. “I’m not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.”
C. “Welcome to Dumpsville, population: YOU.”
A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with the intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Should never have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
EVALUATING RESULTS: If you answered “A” more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you ARE a man!!
If you answered “B” more than 7 times, check into therapy, you’re a little confused.
If you answered “C” more than 7 times, “YOU DA MAN!”
August 18th, 2010 — rants
THE WEDDING TEST
>>
>>
>> I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had
been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was
only one little thing bothering me….It was her beautiful younger
sister.
>>
>> My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very
tight miniskirts, and generally went bra-less. She would regularly bend
down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It
had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone
else.
>>
>> One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come
over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and
she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she
couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister.
>>
>> Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She
said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild
fling, just come up and get me.’
>>
>> I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up
the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline
straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight
towards my car.
>>
>> Lord… And behold, my entire future family was standing
outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged
me and said, ‘We
>> are very happy that you have passed our little test. We
couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.’
>>
>> And the moral of this story is:
>>
>> Always keep your condoms in your car … !
August 18th, 2010 — rants
I love Dunkin Donuts. I go there Every day
But I hate bad locations with bad employees.
The worst is in the Tedeschis market in Hanover ma
The people are rude, the place is a mess and most of them cannot speak english.
I think the woman says ” u want donut wt that coffee?” I am not sure.
They are never ready when the door opens in the morning.
But as a testimonial to DD they are always busy.
Avoid this location if you can…..
August 18th, 2010 — rants
Are there people that just make you gag?
When they appear on TV, you just have to turn it off.
Here is a list of people that make me gag. These are the one’s that come to my head right now, I think there will be more.
Brett Favre
The man is a narcissist and a pain in the ass. Just retire already like Bledsoe and enjoy your time on the list of all time CHOKERS…
Whoopi Goldberg
She sucks. enough with the matted down dreads. Your an old broad.. No one cares what you have to say, and you have not been funny in years.
Woody Allen
This guy is just plain creepy. Didn’t he fondle a 12 year old niece or something too? He makes me puke.
Bob cat goldwaite
Thank God he does not appear anymore on TV. I hated that screaming act.
Barbra Walters:
Wa Wa Wa I have had enough of her.
Joan Rivers
Just looking at her and her 500 facelifts makes me puke.
Barak Obama:
I know he is OUR president, but I am getting tired of seeing him every damn day on the TV talking stupid. He is a puppet for some underground organization for sure.
Furniture Guys:
Bob from Bob’s furniture
Barry and Eliot
Bernie and Phil
The whole bunch of them should go out of business.
Please leave me a comment on who else makes you puke, and I might list them in this hall of sham
e.
August 17th, 2010 — rants
Something that really annoys the shit out of me, is when you get behind a waver.
What is a waver????
A waver is some asshole in front of you driving a car that is soooo nice they wave everybody to go in front of them.
They say go ahead, no problem, I do not have a life, I have no where to go, BUT all the rest of us that have lifes, are behind them cursing the asshole.
I got behind one of the worst wavers ever!!! the other day. I was trying to follow somebody, and the waver got between us. He let at least 6 cars come between him and the guy I was following. He went so far as to back up at a light to let someone in who was coming out of a CVS.
What a putz!!!
Please do not wave people in, be courteous to the people behind you. Let the person wait for an opening. Fo Christs Sake!!!
August 17th, 2010 — rants
Two things I hate.
One, when an ambulance is coming down the street into you and you do the right thing and pull to the side of the road. And some knucklehead goes and passes you. What an asshole
Two when you are on the highway in thick traffic. You see the ambulance in your rear view mirror, so you merge over, so that the emergency vehicle can get to the emergency.
As soon as the ambnulance passes some ASSHOLE jumps out and get right behind the ambulance in order to pass all the rest of the cars. What a jerk
What is the rule for an ambulance anyway? The way I see it. If it is oncoming, you slow down and pull over to the right. If it is behind you, you pull over and stop!
Here is the real answer:
SC Code of Laws Section 56-5-2360(a) of the 1976 Code is amended to read:
Upon the immediate approach of an authorized emergency vehicle making use of an audible signal meeting the requirements of Section 56-5-4970 and visual signals meeting the requirements of Section 56-5-4700, or of a police vehicle properly and lawfully making use of an audible signal or visual signal only, the driver of every other vehicle traveling along a two-lane roadway shall yield the right-of-way and shall immediately drive to a position parallel to, and as close as possible, to the right hand edge or curb of the roadway clear of any intersection and shall stop and remain in such that position until the authorized emergency vehicle has passed, except when otherwise directed by a police officer. A driver of a vehicle traveling along a multilane roadway shall yield the right-of-way and shall remain in, or move to a location that allows the emergency vehicle or police vehicle to pass safely, except as otherwise directed by a police officer.”
As you can see, the law requires that you pull to the right. Since you should be pulling to the right, it is much safer for the ambulance to pass you on the left.
August 17th, 2010 — rants
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda Central announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%, from 72 to only 54, effective immediately. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and the subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife, coupled with other factors contributing to a decline in the virgin supply.
The suicide bombers’ union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Mustapha Fook told the press, “Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in our teeth.”.
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, “We sympathize with our workers’ concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace and a difficult economy. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife, which is not helped by the downturn in the economy which is driving virgins to cash in their chastity. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don’t like cutting compensation, but I’d hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.”
Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle , Middlesborough, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as “There are no virgins in our areas anyway”.
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has also been attributed to the emergence and popularity of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are less keen on rushing to paradise.
