This is a new category, so I thought I would start with a classic for guys. Sometimes, you have to make a decision. you cannot have both, so you have to weigh your options and make the choice. Your choice usually says a lot about you.
I will have more, like Ali Vs Frazier, Wilma Vs Betty, Chamberlain vs Russell, I dream of Jeannie Vs Bewitched. Now you get it.
Make a pick! You are Gilligan, you are stuck on a deserted Island with Ginger and MaryAnn. You have to pick one. Who is it?
MaryAnn: Plain, but beautiful, wholesome,Girl Next Door, caregiver, sweet, Makes a great home cooked meal.
Ginger: Sassy, sexy, beautiful, vixen, high Maintenance. Bottle of wine by the fire type. You may have to order out every meal.
Do you honestly believe that Roger Clemens did not use steroids or a human Growth hormone? I don’t believe a word. 60 minutes was a setup.
His best friend said that he was doing it. He got it from Clemens trainer who said that they were both doing it. Clemens is hanging his hat on the fact that maybe no one saw it, so it never happened. He will be exposed soon.
I never liked him from the time I saw him tell a little kid at a charity golf tournament to get away from him. He was there to play golf and not to sign autographs. JERK!!! The guy’s head just kept getting bigger.
That is such a bunch of shit. Probably because the biggest insurance companies are Allstate, Geico and State Farm. That is the only reference most people know.
If you want honesty, call MONTY, I will hook you up with an honest and ethical guy.
Rebuttal:
Honesty Sells the Policy:
Oh, and about that Gallup poll?I Don’t feel too bad. There were two professions that scored even lower than insurance salesmen. HMO managers were next to last at 11%, and car salesmen were dead last at 7%. But I doubt you’ll hear any horror stories at cocktail parties any time soon about auto owners who fib about the condition of their trade-in vehicle.
How long does this go on. I swear that they have been running for president for 3 years now. I cannot take another commercial. Do you care? are you impressed by anyone? Do you close your eyes and throw a dart. How do you close the curtain and pull the lever for Hillary? Who could do that? Obama Jesus Christ! what an empty suit. Huckleberry hound. Oh No. Rudy ( I love myself ) Juliani.
Actually I do like Mitt. He was our governor and cleaned up the mess in the State House in Massachusetts. He does not play politics like the rest, and does not care who he pisses off. He is his own man. If I had his millions though, I do not think I would be running for president, or not drinking, swearing, smoking or what ever he does not do. Only his wife knows i guess.
A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,
painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15
years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack
of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an
entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of
their marriage. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient
length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and,
after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a
daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, ‘This is what your
wife needs at least three times a week Can you do this?’ The husband
thought for a moment and replied,…’Well, I can drop her off here on M ondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf.’
A year ago at this time I was 245. Today I am 245. In between I have lost 100 pounds. Why because I go on the Monday diet. Every Monday I wake up and go on some kind of diet. Most only last till Tuesday, but I do make the conscience effort every Monday morning. I go off to the gym and put in my workout and say this will be the day. It never is.
I have been on the ABS diet, The south Beach diet, Weight watchers, The Special K diet, the rice diet, the ice cream diet, The Atkins diet, the Dave maynard diet. The only one that seems to work is the seafood diet. ( I see food and I eat it).
Oh well It is monday, so here i go again.
I wonder what is for lunch? oops!! back on track. See how easy I fall off the wagon.
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. –Mrs. Anon.
I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is fourteen days.
Ok I was wrong about Seattle, but pretty close on the Pats game. I have been stubborn about the Pack all year. I just cannot believe that Farve has been as bad as Drew Bledsoe for the last 4 years and now he looks great. fooled me.
Observations from section 114:
Brady and the Offense are AWESOME. They are precision like and fun to watch.
The Defense SUCKS. I am not shitting you. do not look at stats. Watch with your eyes. They could not stop my mother. how about a 3 and out. just one. This is why the other team goes for it on fourth down when they do get a 3 and out, because they know they will make it. We make every QB in the league look like Tom Brady.. I would say it is one of the 5 worst defenses in the league, But I cannot think of the other 5.
Maybe Bill should spend more time this week in that side of the building.
Todays games:
Indy (best defense in NFL )23 San Diego 28
Dallas 17 Giants 20
Thought: Which game do the Manning family go to? I guess it depends on if you want to see a win.
HA HA I used the edit feature and changed the scores. I thought that INDY and DALLAS would win too!!! Gotta love that edit button when you make predictions.
Anaiysis: Seattle is on a roll and Green Bay IS Brett farve, and forgive me, but I think he is done. He will get anxious and try to be a one man show and throw that late pick as they are driving.
Patriots 31 Jacksonville 28
Analysis: how do these two teams pull off a victory?
Pats- just be the Pats and let Brady do his thing.
Jax’s- The Forrest gump offense, what? ” Run Forrrest run” run up the middle till you break the pats defense and wear down the old dudes in the middle. It might be 3 consecutive 3 and outs, but you have to keep up the pressure. Why do I say 28 points? because, when you wear them down you will force the Pats into bringing their safties down, and then all you have to do is heave it up to anyone that is guarded by Ellis Hobbs.
A man thought that his wife is cheating on him. Since he didn’t have a lot of money to hire an expensive private investigator, he decided to go with a much cheaper one — a Chinese man named Mr. Lee.
The following day he received following report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house. I watch house. he come to house. I watch. He and she leavehouse. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. Hekiss she. She kiss he. He strip she.She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall offtree. I not see.
No fee,
Chen Lee
MORE>>>>
Ed Zachery Disease
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see a well-known Chinese sex therapist, so she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “OK, take off all you crose.”
The woman did as she was told.
“Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room.”
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, “OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.”
So she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, “Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”
Worried, the woman asked anxiously, “Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?”
Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, “Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass.
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.” To the Scotsman he said, “You’re in charge of shoveling.” And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.”
He then said, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile.”
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, “Why didn’t you sweep any of it?” The Italian replied, “I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.” Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, “And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.”
The Scotsman replied, “Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th’ Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin’ him either.” The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled…
Beware!!! Do not buy a car from South Shore Volkswagon- South Shore Jeep-South Shore Volvo.
Last Year My daughter had just graduated college and was about to make her first big purchase, and get her first taste of creepy car dealers. She decided on the VW Bug.
Ok so we go to the Local dealership in Hanover Ma. We get the whole sales pitch. To make a long story short, she decides on the blue one in the showroom with all the bells and whistles. We pay too much! (whatever, she is very excited) but decide to come back and close the deal and pick up the car the next day. No problem right? Wrong. We sign the papers, do the insurance work and they deliver the wrong car. What you say. right the old bait and switch.
They deliver a car that looks the same, but it is a base model with no heated seats and crank windows. we discover this and confront them. They say that they could not have delivered the other car that was in the showroom for the price we negotiated. My daughter is tearful, and I am about to take on anybody within reach.
The showroom car is gone, the salesperson is gone, the salesmanager is gone, and the owner is cowering someplace. To this day after calls to the AG, Volkswagon America, and countless calls to the owner ( Buchovich guy) He still has not apologized or called me back
She did get the same car from Paul Clark VW in Brockton and it was a GREAT experience
51 hours from now, we will line em up and find out what we have for the Jags. The closer it gets, the less nervous I get. I think the Pats are rested and ready. They typically have their shit together.
We still have 2 holes on offense and 2 on defense. I think Bill can scheme it up and overcome these glaring deficiencies. can you believe all the stuff you get out of Ellis Hobbs? He actually thinks he is a player. Sorry.
I would love to see the pats win it all for Jr. How great would that be. Everybody wants to go out on top, and i am not sure he would come back again if they lose. We will get his best effort.
We need a 4 star effort from both our lines. that should be the key to this game.
A small guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge guy standing next to him. The big guy looks down upon the small guy and says, “7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown.”
The small guy faints!
The big guy picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, ”What’s wrong?”
The small guy says, ”Excuse me but what did you say?”
The big guy looks down and says, “7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, ”Thank God, I thought you said, “Turn around.”
Lots of people have asked me, Monty, how do you do it? How are you successful at sales. It is simple and I have come up with an acronym that might help you. Good luck.
Make a friend, make a sale. Most sales are relationship driven. People want to deal with people they like. “Friends last longer than customers”
Open the damn door. You need to get out and see people. The shoe leather needs to hit the road. Cold call and just drop by. An old sales manager once told me, that the hardest door to open was the one to your car door. He also said that when you think you have made your last call, make one more. At the end of the year, that last call will be quite a few sales.
Niche sales. Find something that you are an expert at, and sell it. Do not be one of the pack. Sell a product or service that is unique. Stand out from the crowd.
Take a minute and stop selling. Ask for the sale. Ever hear that line “ He had me with Hello” Some times that is all it takes. Not all people want to hear the pitch, they want to buy now, so stop selling and close the deal. Do not be afraid to ask.
Y why not you. People are going to buy your product from someone, so Y not from you. Be confident. Be positive, and above all always Be yourself.
I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
>
> Got a call center in Pakistan.?
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> I told them I was suicidal.
>
> They got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr.Phil Show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.”
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
Please pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.
When in the Rockland Weymouth or Norwell area, you need to go to Yianni’s. Billy is the owner and the hardest working guy on the South Shore. Salads are huge, and just about everything else is extra tasty.
Yianni’s is in the plaza across from Bella’s. I love Bella’s too! more on Bella’s Later.
930 Hingham St, Rockland, MA
in between Reservoir Park & Commerce
Phone: (781) 871-1100
Monty rates this 4 1/2 stars out of 5 in the spuckie category.
Also, try Old Railroad cafe & Mighty Subs—— huge subs.
This is a new category, so I thought I would start with a classic for guys. Sometimes, you have to make a decision. you cannot have both, so you have to weigh your options and make the choice. Your choice usually says a lot about you.
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The guy’s head just kept getting bigger.
How long does this go on. I swear that they have been running for president for 3 years now. I cannot take another commercial. Do you care? are you impressed by anyone? Do you close your eyes and throw a dart. How do you close the curtain and pull the lever for Hillary? Who could do that? Obama Jesus Christ! what an empty suit. Huckleberry hound. Oh No. Rudy ( I love myself ) Juliani.
