Entries from March 2008 ↓

“The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.”

That was true up till now. Now he he screwed, blued and tattooed with his own pleasures.

What a putz! What goes around comes around I guess. I sort of feel bad for him. Then I think of ALL the people he destroyed. Not that they were all angels of Wall Street, but most were just doing business. This guy and is morals came coasting into town bringing people down, having them lose their dignity and even being incarcerated. WHY? so that he could stand tall and be above them. he was so full of himself. I did not like him before, and I like him even less now.

Why cant people just mind their own God dam business. People love to stick their noses in everybody else’s business. Most people as evidenced by this creep have no business criticizing someone else’s morals when they have none themselves.

                           VIDEO OF KNOB CREEK

If you like a good shoot em up click on the link above

This is really funny if you have watched the show.

Saturday night was the second annual Monty poker tournament. We ended up with 28 players on a very very bad weather night. thank you all for coming and for those that fagged out, too bad you missed a good time.

We started with 3 tables of 8. We went to two around 10:00, and filled the final table around 11:30. The game lasted till 1:30 and the people that did not stay over were gone by 3:30.

We had pizza delivered and munched on a variety of snacks. The bar was flowing.  Thanks to the non players. They were able to keep the poker players well lubed with various libations. We had the usual variety of martini’s and Donna lent us her slurpee machine for the Margaritas.

The winners were:

Jake First

Jon lewis Second

Sean Third

Tieg Fourth

Sarah Fifth

Mike Sixth

Eric Seventh

Joe Eighth

Finishing on the bottom was former champion Greg B and The Skippa.

Thank you to DJ Monty for the nights music. he did a great job. I know now that you cannot make everybody happy, so when i say ” you get what you pay for” and I do not charge. You know, that I do not care. Call a real DJ and pay REAL MONEY!!!

Thanks to Derek for his singing, and seadog for his unique style of entertaining us. it gave us so much to talk about in the morning.

The next time, I am thinking no rebuys and a smaller ante, It seemed to be too heavily weighted this time to the professionals.

Thge finish was exciting there was a battle for 3rd and 4th between Tieg and Jake. jake won out and was severely short stacked compared to Sean and Jon. Jake then knocked off Sean who was sent to the showers. Jon still had a big chip lead, until Jake went all in. he was holding The two bullets compared to jons small pair. He whacked him good and it only took a few more hands to wipe him out.

I played with Jake the whole night and he was hanging by a thread most of the night, so congratulations. Good play.

” never trust a poker player that does not drink”

Monty

This might help you. Only takes a minute to complete.

Check your Driver’s License.

I definitely removed mine. I suggest you all do the same. Now you can see

anyone’s Driver’s License on the Internet, including your own! I just

searched for mine and there it was…picture and all!

Thanks Homeland Security! Go to the web site, and check it out.

It’s unbelievable! Just enter your name, city and state to see if yours

is on file. After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked

‘Please Remove’. This will remove it from public viewing, but not from

law enforcement. Please notify all your friends so they can protect

themselves, too.

Believe me they will thank you for it.

CLICK HERE

Fun game             shoot targets-click here

when did it happen? when did everyone start giving you receipts. Stop reading this and check your pocket and or your pocket book. I bet you have a pocket full of receipts.

No matter where we go.we get a receipt. Dunkin donuts-gas station-convenience store-restaurant-super market.

The super market is my favorite. when you are all cashed out, they print out 2 or 3 different receipts, they roll them all up in a ball and you stuff it in your pocket, only to take it out later without ever looking at it and throw it away.
seriously who looks at them. Do you really want them.
The other thing that bothers me, is when you sign the credit card receipt and they return it to you, which one do you keep? The signed one? the yellow one? The one where the waitress puts the happy face on it? That always confuses me. Why is the receipt so small at the gas station?
So the next time you get a cup of coffee, do not take the receipt just drop it on the counter. They will get tired of picking them up and maybe stop giving them to us.

try this too. when you put your credit card or debit card in the reader at say home depot or the super market and they give you that black stylus pen and you are asked to sign your name. sign Santa Claus or Dick Hertz from Holden or Hayward Jablowme. It does not matter, they still debit your money. That is all they want. It is a joke. I do it all the time.

One last thing. when you cash out and they say can i have your zip code. one, say why? or two, give them someone else’s. why is their business? they only use it for marketing to see where their customers come from. i screw with them. i always give them 90210. the high school kid, always says OMG!!! are you from Hollywood?

Monty

A you know, I do not like chain restaurants in general. They seem so contrived and fake. The menus are always filled with everything you can think of, with giant plastic menus.
That pretty much sums up the Longhorn. they have that same old tired southwest look. You know!!!  the wild animal hanging off the wall and the chandeliers made from antlers.
We had to wait for for a table in the middle of the day. That either means that it is really good, or they are under staffed. There were tables open, so I pick the latter.

That greeters were made up of a bunch of young kids dressed in black, that looked disinterested in the customers, and more interested in their own conversations. BUT our waitress JILL more than made up for it, with her fast and friendly service. She was fabulous, and deserved the 33% tip she received.

The food was just fair. The chili cheese fries were soggy. The bread was stale and reheated. I had the ribs, They were advertised as “fall off the bone” that was no lie. they did and they were good. I would go back for those. The fries were over salted and spicy. the cole slaw was very average, it did not taste homemade probably from a 10 gallon container.
The rest of the party had the cheeseburger and the chicken. The chicken was good   ( tender) but the cheeseburger looked better than it was.
We capped it off with the deep fried cheesecake over a bed of ice cream topped with whipped cream. Looked good on the plastic menu, and the team of Harvard marketers who wrote the text made it sound delish, But don’t bother. If you want cheesecake, just order the cheesecake and don’t think that breading it and then deep frying it in oil will improve it.
Overall some good (Jill the waitress and the ribs) Some bad ( fries and the over hyped cheesecake). If I was taking my mother out and two small kids and was on a budget and it was the first place I saw when I got off the highway… I would go back.

2 1/2 Monty stars out of 5

Monty

Click here: Quarter Backs

This is harder than you would think. Try It!!!

“ Nothing gets done, till something is sold”

Where have all the salesman gone? Young people just do not want to do sales any more. I do not even think they teach it in college any more.

Delusional college grads all want to be something else now. They all graduate as Techies, or graphic artists, or my favorite…. sports management majors. Just how many sports managers are there? Every college graduates about 1/3 of their class every year with that one. Those are the people that are managing the Jiffy lube, or the enterprise rental office. A far cry from being a sports agent.

For one month our business ran an ad in the biggest paper in town for a salesperson. In this bad economy, we got two résumé’s.

Everyone wants to be a techie. No one wants to sell.

It appears to me, the people that made the most money in this country either invented something and or sold something. By the way, you can invent the greatest thing in the world, but who cares unless you sell it to somebody.

Sales may not be glamorous, but it is the backbone of most businesses. Your top salesperson should be your highest paid person.

Do you know what really pisses me off the most? How many times have you walked into an office or a store, a place where you SELL stuff and you see a sign that says NO SOLICITORS. Now that is either just stupid or ignorant.

I do not care what business you are in, you have to sell something to get paid. So, where have all the salesman gone?

A smile and a handshake are still the best sales tools.

Monty

A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady’s cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, “If this new vacuum doesn’t pick up every bit of dirt then I’ll eat all the dirt.”

The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, “Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?”

Today I tried something different. Instead of being my usual garrulous, loquacious and ebullient self, i listened and tried to see what i could learn. So at the health club in 2 hours here is what i learned.

Cliff taught me what a figure head was.

A ship often has an elaborate figure carved from wood – normally a maiden – attached to the bows or prow of the vessel to bring good luck to the ship and its voyages and act as a guiding hand and inspiration to the crew

Every now and then the artists who carved these worlds produced something rather special. It is a shame this particular skill goes largely un-noticed – the exquisite works shown on our pages rarely feature the name or history of the artist

I learned from Bob what the term “bite the bullet” meant

In the days before effective anesthetics soldiers were given bullets to bite on to help them endure pain. Improvements in battlefield medicine has seen the real act of biting bullets migrated into metaphor, although it must still happen occasionally.

Pete told me a  joke:

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

Lou told me about how many times the septic system has to be cleaned. Jimmy taught me about the effects of the”Z” pak, and as always, Frank talked to me about saving money. Charlie taught me about the seven ills of today’s society.

I have worked out with Greg for five years now. I know more about paint than any man alive. I did not get a dissertation on Pittsburgh acrylic paint today, but there is tommorow.

This is not a rant, but you can learn something from anybody. Even from this silly “blog”

Monty

I will tell you why, I would have shot the little prick!

Here is what happened. I am leaving a parking lot today. Stopped waiting to enter the main road. A twenty something asshole in a pickup truck takes a left and turns in front of me. That is ok. The proper thing to do is to let me go first. BUT as usual I digress. The little peckerhead then proceeds to look out the window at me and yells FUCK YOU!

Wrong person wrong day. I put it in park I get out and chase the moron down. I start yelling at him, asking him what the Fuck I did to deserve that. I asked him what it was that made him say that. He says my car was too far out.

I tell him that it is still there and that it has not moved and does he still think I am too far out? He says fuck you again. NOW he is angering me. I ask him if he wants to take a punch at this old man, or do we want to call the cops. The little pussy walks away.

So why did he lash out a a 50 something guy just waiting to go back to work?  Because he was a creep and he was having a bad day and he took it out on me. Now my blood pressure is like 180 over 120. Just what good did this do anybody?

Be nice to old people, or we might just kick your ass.

FOR WOMAN:

forwomenonly.pps

FOR MEN:

numbers.pps

CAR TROUBLE
>
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
> After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says,
> “What’s the story?” He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor” She asks, “How
> often do I have to do that?”
>
> SPEEDING TICKET
>
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
> could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get
> your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today
> you expect me to show it to you!”
>
> RIVER WALK
>
> There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
> blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the
> other side?” The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
> shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”
>
> AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
>
> A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her
> body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
> The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then
> she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
> screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
> made her scream. The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?
> “Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.” “I thought so,” the doctor
> said. “Your finger is broken.”
>
> KNITTING
>
> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing
> at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
> knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,
> the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
> “PULL OVER!” “NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
>
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said,
> “We were the first in space!” The American said, “We were the first on the
> moon!” The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”
> The Russian and the American looked at each other and
> shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! “You’ll burn up!”
> said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know.
> We’re going at night!”
>
> IN A VACUUM
>
> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
> the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are
> in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?” She thought for a
> time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”
>
> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>
> A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
> asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was
> named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of
> someone naming dogs like that?” “HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond.
> “They’re watch dogs!”
>

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