Entries from May 2008 ↓

Should that scare me a little?????

I cannot eat asparagus any longer. Do not get me wrong, I love it. I cannot stand the smell of my pee any longer.

You always forget and wake up in the middle of the night to take a leek and BANG!! that pungent smell just hits you. It is worse than a fart. You cannot explain it to the people who are not afflicted with it, but it STINKS.

I have done a little research, and I always ask people who order it. Funny, but most people deny the fact that their pee smells. They are probably the same people that think their farts don’t smell.

Does your wee STINK after eating asparagus?

Well, don’t PANIC! You DO NOT have a disease! It turns out that some people (I, am one of them!) produce chemicals from the asparagus they eat, and those chemicals come out of your body in your Piss. Scientists are not sure exactly what the smelly chemicals are, but they’re made from parts of the asparagus called amino acids, the things proteins are made of. Some of these chemicals contain an element called sulphur, a very smelly chemical.

Not everyone makes the smelly chemicals. Even more interesting is that not all people can smell it. So, you might make asparagus wee, and not even know it! Like many things, the ability to produce it and smell it are determined in your genes.

We did our own survey here at ABC Science, and found that 23 of 25 people (92%) produced the smell.

Another story:

Asparagus, a green vegetable belonging to the lily family, has one notorious side effect for some diners who eat enough of it. Within a half-hour of asparagus consumption, some people notice their urine has acquired a very pungent odor, often compared to rotting cabbage, ammonia or rotten eggs. The effects of asparagus on urine are generally fleeting and harmless, but it’s not necessarily the consumer’s finest hour, bodily excretion-wise.

The good news is that asparagus does not affect everyone. Studies conducted on the “asparagus urine” phenomenon (aren’t you glad you didn’t volunteer!) indicate that roughly 40 to 50 percent of those tested developed the distinctive odor. Surprisingly enough, there is also a segment of the population who cannot smell the sulphurous fumes of asparagus-laced urine.

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Little Johnnie’s  neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born
without ears.
When mother and new baby  came home from the hospital, Johnnie’s family was
invited over to see the baby.  Before
they left their house, Little  Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him
and explained that the baby had no  ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about  the baby’s
missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the beating of  his
life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told  his dad he understood completely. When Johnnie looked in
the crib he said, ‘What  a beautiful baby.’
The mother said, ‘Why,  thank you, Little Johnnie. Johnnie
said, ‘He has beautiful&nb sp; little feet and beautiful little hands,
a cute little nose and really  beautiful eyes. Can he see?’

‘Yes’, the mother replied, ‘we are so  thankful; the Doctor said he will have
20/20 vision.’

‘That’s great’,  said Little Johnnie, ‘cuz he’d be fucked if he needed
glasses’.

Did you know that you can track where your wife or husband is by putting their cell # into the internet.

The GPS chip in all pnones will tell you their whereabouts at all times. Everytime i check, my wife is at work or at the mall.

Check it out     CLICK HERE   for the link

I have to say it. I hate Capri’s. I think that is what they call them. When I was a kid we called them clam diggers. Now I just call them stupid pants. WHY would woman wear these ridiculous looking pants.
Are they really pants, or tight long shorts? Whatever they are, they are stupid.

This style should have went out with mary Tyler Moore in the Dick Van Dyke show.( check out the 60′s)

I know what I speak of, I do have a college degree in fashion. When will this stupid style go OUT!!!! They just plain look stupid.

All I ever hear is that they are comfortable. Well so are pajamas. why don’t woman go out in their pj’s or bloomers?

THEY ARE HIDEOUS AND WOMAN HAVE TO STOP WEARING THEM.

THEY ARE STUPID PANTS!!!

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1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like … night

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers

4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. Remember, half the people in the world are below
average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second
mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

10. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some
people have.

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.

12. Change is inevitable, except from vending
machines.

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple
of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise
my hand.

15. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

16. When everything is coming your way, you’re in
the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays
off now.

18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just
don’t have film.

19. How much deeper would the ocean be without
sponges?

20 Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked
into jet engines.

21. What happens if you get scared half to death
twice?

22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your
horn louder.

23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

24. Inside every older person is a younger person
wondering what happened.

25. Just remember – if the world didn’t suck, we
would all fall off.

26. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

27. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates . . . it’s
more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,
might burn your butt tomorrow.