Why do we have to say ” God Bless You” after someone sneezes? Why Why?
Do you do it? …..If you do Why?
Is it ingrained in your head?
Do you say anything after someone coughs?
How about after someone farts. That would be a good time to say something, like the lord be with you and your stinky butt.
When you clear your throat no one says anything, so why when you sneeze. I will tell you why the experts think we do it:
SNEEZING
If you are in the presence of someone who sneezes, protect him from danger by saying, “God bless you,” or “Gesundheit.” Other acceptable blessings are “Long may you live,” or “May you enjoy good health.”
Origin. Ancient man believed that his breath was also his soul or “essence of life.” When God made man, he “breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.” A rapid departure of that breath–a sneeze–is the same as expelling life from one’s body. Also, it leaves a vacuum in the head which evil spirits can enter. Roman citizens feared sneezing when a plague hit their city during the reign of Pope Gregory the Great. Since they regarded the sneeze as a sure sign of approaching sickness, Pope Gregory in situated the use of the phrase “God bless you” to shield sneezers from any ill effects.
See it is stupid and it has been going on for hundreds of years since ancient man. We need to STOP now. It is stupid and out of hand.
By the way, your heart does not stop when you sneeze, I looked it up.
I ALWAYS sneeze twice. The second one can come right after, or maybe up to a minute after. What is protocol here for all of you well wishers?
Do you say it JUST once, or do you say it twice.
For the two timers, what do you do when you have one of those repeaters. You know the people that go off, and cannot stop.
What is protocol for the wipe?
You always put your hand to your mouth. Do you do the hankerchief? Tissue? of course not, there is not time. So you do the hand. Well if you have one that is fully loaded, what do you do?
Do you do the wipe on your pants? Do you use the table cloth? I know you do something? Just think about it for a minute.
Can you stop a sneeze? You can. I was taught by a swedish exchange student in the 7th grade. She said that if you stick the fingernail from your thumb into the top crease of your baby finger, the feeling will go away.
Try it , it works. It has saved me on a golf course many times.
One last question? If someone sneezes in a crowd, how many people have to say God Bless You? is one enough? Do you battle to be the first? If someone sneezes twice, is one enough? If there are two plus people there, is that the time for you to get yours in? Is it polite to give the other person the chance to say it, or is it a competition?
PEOPLE of the MONTY MINUTE, I implore you, PLEASE stop saying it.
If you want to say GOD Bless You, by all means say it all day. at home, in church, in the car, But for Christs sake leave the poor bastards that have just snezzed and who now have a hand full of goo alone.
Nothing pisses me off more than seeing this sign. I get Even more pissed off when I see this sign and it is on the door of a sales type business.
Mortgage co’s, realtors.copier stores, office supply’s,financial services, stock brokers, charities. insurance agencies etc. These people make their living soliciting people Then they have the unmitigated gaul to place a sign in their window that says NO SOLICITING.
What assholes. What are they thinking?
I googled up no soliciting before I wrote this rant and I found one thousand seven hundred and eighty six rants from other people saying that they hate solicitors, and they hate when people still barge right in When they see their sign.
That is great, if you own a home or business, you have the right to do anything you want, BUT if you make a living, calling on, or selling to people, take the sign down. You are a hypocrite.
Life is hard enough. If some hard working slob knocks on your door and they are a decent person, listen to what they have to say for a minute, be polite and take their information and just be glad that it is not you having to walk through that door after driving in your car for 60 miles, or walking around in the heat or the rain or the snow or whatever to get a chance to tell someone what you do.
It is funny . Sometimes, you JUST might want what they have to sell.
Lets hope that we do not find those horrible two words on the front of a church or a school.
Consideration!
> It is important for men to remember that,
> as women grow older, it becomes
> harder for them to maintain the same quality of
> housekeeping as when they were
> younger. When you notice this, try to show some
> understanding. My name is
> Greg, and let me relate how I handled the
> situation with my wife, Mary.
> When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary
> for Mary to get a full
> time job along with her part-time job, both for
> extra income and for the health
> benefits that we needed.
> Shortly after she started working, I noticed she
> was beginning to show her
> age. I usually get home from the golf course about
> the same time she gets home
> from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she
> almost always says she
> has to rest for half an hour or so before, she
> starts dinner. I do not yell at
> her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just
> wake me when she gets
> dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the
> Men’s Grill at Bay Pointe
, so eating out again at night is not
> reasonable. I am ready for some home
> cooking when I hit that door.
> She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished
> eating, but now it is not
> unusual for them to sit on the table for several
> hours after dinner.
> I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her
> several times each evening
> that the dishes will not clean themselves. I know she really appreciates
> this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them
> done before she goes to bed.
> Another symptom of aging is complaining. For
> example, she will say that it
> is difficult for her to find time to pay the
> monthly bills during her lunch
> hour. But, boys, we take ‘em for better or worse,
> so I just smile and offer
> encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
> two or even three days. That
> way she won’t have to rush so much. I also remind
> her that missing lunch
> completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if
> you know what I mean). I like to
> think that this is one of my strong points.
> When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she
> needs more rest periods.. She
> had to take a break when she was only half finished
> mowing the yard. I try
> not to make a scene. I’m a fair man. I tell her to
> fix herself a nice, big,
> cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just
> sit for a while. And, as long
> as she is making one for herself, she may as well
> make one for me, too.
> I know that I probably look like a saint in the way
> I support Mary, and I’m
> not saying that showing this much consideration is
> easy. Nobody knows better
> than I do how frustrating women get as they get
> older, but, guys, even if you
> just use a little more tact and less criticism of
> your aging wife because of
> this letter, I will consider that writing it was
> well worthwhile. After all,
> we are put on this earth to help each other.
> Signed,
> Gregory
> EDITOR’S NOTE:
>Greg died tragically on June 23rd of a perforated
> colon ( I would have thought the butter would have killed him, BUT go figure). The police report
> says he was found with a Calloway extra long
> 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II
> golf club jammed up his rear end with barely 5
> inches of grip showing. A
> sledgehammer was recovered lying nearby.
> His wife, Mary, was arrested and charged
> with murder. The all woman jury took only 15
> minutes to find her Not Guilty,
> accepting her defense that Gregory somehow,
> without looking, accidentally sat
> down on the end of his golf club.
Am I the only one? Am I alone in this? Am I losing it?
What are the odds that almost every time I go into the store I get the shopping cart with the bum wheel?
You Know!
The one that just spins around?
The one that thumps?
The one that drags on the metal and makes the cart go left or right.
They never seem to get quirky till you are half way down the produce aisle and you are committed. Then the little bastard starts acting up. Do you turn back and get a new one or deal with it? I usually deal with it and fight the Mutha f-er the whole way .
Always go back you will not regret it.
TIP: DO NOT take the stray one. you know the one that is not all lined up with the others. That was somebody else’s they left it for you to suffer with.
While I am at it, why haven’t these things changed in like 50 years. Do you ever see a kid sitting backwards in one of those carts. No way, no shit, they are in little carts that look like a nascar or something. They are 11 feet long and take up half the aisle. It is so the little bastards can wipe out the lower shelf.
Have you ever pulled down the row and found a sweet spot right in front of the market and just before you pull in you see two carts taking the space. Oh ya, that sucks big time.
How about the space for the expectant mothers. Bullshit I am bigger than most of those mom’s to be. I should get that spot.
They need to redesign the carriage. no baby seat, but maybe just three sections. One for bread and crushables, one for the other shit, and one that has a cooler in it for the frozen stuff.It is ok to make it a little bigger. hell they make the little nascar buggy’s 11 feet long.
How about a front end loader. You pull up to the conveyor belt, open the front up and the stuff just chugs out. No more taking everything out piece by piece again.
Do not get me started on self checkout. That is for another day. that just does not work.
Sorry I got sidetracked there for a minute. Back to the bad wheels on the carriages. Easy to fix, just put big wheels on them with treads, like on a wheel barrel. Easy to push and they will not screw up like the current ones.
If you play golf, or if you are in business, you know about the Monday scramble.
In the summer, it seems like EVERY Monday you have to play, or have the opportunity to play in some charity golf outing.
It is for the YMCA or the boys club, or for this sickness or that. It is for this memorial or that. Or it is for a business with a charity wrapped around it to legitimize it.
It is not just the golf or the price of the golf. It is usually like $600 per foursome. Last week I played in one that was for some scientists foundation that was $5000 per foursome ( at least they had an open bar)
Besides the cost, you need to buy a sign, then you need to buy mulligans, or a string to make a putt. Then you have the arms length of tickets for the raffle. Then there is the live auction, where you can bid on some guys timeshare in Godforsaken Northern Maine. WAIT there is more. While you are out on the golf course you can pony up another $20 on every par three for closest to the pin. Or when you pass the clubhouse you can putt 3 balls and be entered into another fish bowl raffle.
At this time if you have not been fleeced enough, they announce the winners of this booze fest and 4 assholes with sneakers on that have never seen a golf course get up and go WOOHOO ya dude, that was us that was 20 under. We made every putt.
Well I have had enough, I am in a stretch of like five of these in a row. Last week, it was one for the little brainiac scientists, before that it was for some safe driving school, next week I have to play with my brother for some church. It is the church of a friend of a friend or something. He got sucked into buying a foursome and now i am sucked in.
JUST yesterday I had to play in one of these. The sham of a charity was the pole dancers of America college fund. These chicks are alway dancing their way through these strip clubs to get through college, so I thought I would help. Why not, I help everybody else’s charity.
It was a tough one, BUT I got through it. Somebody has to step up once in awhile.
I just got back in the office and this idea for a blog came to mind.
I am a traveling salesman. I go out on appointments and make cold calls. This is all good. I like my job, when the weather is good.
Here is the rub! The worst part of being on the road is when you have to go!
Go where you say? NO I mean you gotta GO!
Meaning #1 or GOD forgive #2
You have to plan your visits. You have to watch what you eat for lunch, and you have to be resourceful.
My favorite places to pee are Dunkin Donuts, McDonalds, Home Depot. The bathrooms are OK nad no one really bothers you.
People would think that maybe a gas station, BUT, you have to go in and ask for the key that is usually attached to a hub cap or something. If you are not getting gas, you get the urgghh! from the foreign piece of shit behind the counter.So I avoid the gas station unless it is a true emergency.
As for #2, thank GOD I have good bladder control. But if you have to go, you want to find a hotel. These are the best spots. you park in the lot, walk in past the front desk like you own the place and find the lobby shittter. They are usually very clean and not a lot of people in them. I do not EVER like being in one of those big bathrooms with the cacophony of trumpet sounds coming from all over. I never understood how some dude would go in a public bathroom with the paper. Dude get in, do your business, and get the hell out. It aint no friggin library. If you are truly lucky, and have the time, the best bathrooms even better than a hotel, are in a casino.
This brings me to my friend Michael “O” I am not mentioning his full name because of the public ridicule he would be put under.
Ya see, Mike has no bladder control. He gets the feeling and watch out. He has like maybe 5 minutes. I remember when we went camping one time and he left the beach for the port-o-potty. You guessed it, he never made it. He shit his pants, or in this case his bathing suit. What a mess. I saw it and have reminded him of the incident for like 30 years.
JUST last week, Mike had to pull over on Route 128. He was in the breakdown lane during rush hour.
Well when mike came out of the woods with one less white sock, he realized that the breakdown lane was open to traffic. Boy was he embarrassed when he had traffic backed up for miles. ( I have 10 more Mike stories JUST like this one)
So in summary, if you got to be on the road, plan your trip, and always carry some T.P. in the trunk. Stay out of the urban areas, because the bathrooms are always locked. Do not drink too much and Good Luck. Let me know if you have a story? post it in the comments section.
Ok , you have been thinking of getting this very special product for months.
you have your heart set on it.
It is electronic! are you with me? ok
You save the money. you drive to the store. you pick out just the right one.
you pay for it. You get out the door with out the airport alarm gong off. you get in the car. before you turn the car on you open the bag, pull out the package.
Let’s say it is a CD that you have wanted.
OK
Now What? You play it in the car right?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
No fucking way!
You would have an easier time breaking out of san Quentin than opening up that stupid package .
The plastic is 2 inches thick. You want it, but you cannot get to it.
But you try!!
you look around for a knife, a pen, a nail clipper, a golf tee. you pour through the glove box, the side pockets, or your purse. whatever you have. Nothing works.
Now you pissed off and sweating.
If you are me, you do not give up. You pierce the plastic with something, maybe a pen, then you stick a finger in and start ripping it open, ( your finger not the package) then you get it started, but there are closures holding it closed
Now you are ready to kill somebody, so you start the car, say you never liked that band any way, swear to come back and go postal on that store, or hope that the inventor dropped dead in a violent death.
In the end you get home, get the scissors out cut the hermetically sealed package. rescue the cd, pour yourself a drink, go back to the car and play the CD.
DO NOT tell me that this has not happened to you with a toy, or a game, or a CD or some electronic device.
These are the things that make me take medication everyday.
Bill was our caddy at Pipping Rock on Tuesday for an outing.
What a great guy. You get to know alot about a person in 5 hours on a golf course. You figure out real quick if they are a good guy or a JERK.
Plenty of both out there.
Bill just got back from Torrey Pines where he caddied in the US OPEN. You can imagine what a great experience that would be. An old frind Billy Spears did that a few times, and he always said that he would do it again for nothing. To be standing right next to the greats of the game that is pretty cool . It would be like standing on the field while the Super Bowl was being played.
Anyway, I was telling Bill about the Monty Minute and I promised him he would make it, if he would start reading it.
Good luck Bill and I do not blame you a bit for all of those missed putts. As Wayne says, ” it is the indian not the bow” that causes all the problems.
I put on a new shirt today . Actually I got it awhile ago, but I have not had the time to unwrap it.
Sounds weird I know, but It had a wrap around it like a package. Then it had a sign around the extra button.
It had a piece of cardboard inside the collar.
It had plastic over the top button.
It had some white thin paper on the inside of the shirt. Like the stuff you put in boxes at Xmas time. Tissue paper they call it I think.
Then the worst part if that was not enough, those friggin pins. there must have been a dozen of them. it is like a game trying to find them. they are under neath, they hide in the collars and inside the sleeve.
JUST when you think you have them all, you find another one. Where do you put them? I am never at a barrel when I open these shirts.
Who puts them in? Do you know that TV show dirty jobs? I think this should be on there. Can you imagine a room full of 100 chinese. dimly lit, smelly,dirty. You are sitting on an assembly line, with a giant box of plaid shirts, a bucket of pins, a container of plastic button protectors and some tissue paper.
if that is not a dirty friggin job, I JUST do not know what is. I can imagine what they are saying now?
It is friday and i am ready to head off on the boat to go to Salem for the weekend. Basically to hang out and DRINK.
So i thought I would have a few words about one of my favorite topics, habits and hobby. Drinking
I am not much for drinking beer, but i will in a pinch. I also never drink anything that i have thrown up on in my lifetime. Thank GOD that has only been a few times. I put white wine, jack daniels and tequila in that category.
I am what you call a junk drinker. I like to change it up. I never like to drink too many of the same drink in a row. This might have something to do with my ADHD.
My favorites are:
Captain and diet coke ( please no lime, it ruins the taste, I like mine with a cherry)
Anything with Vodka. Grey goose, Mr belvedere, kettle, sky, Effin are my favs. In a pinch i will drink Absolute, but bar vodka sucks. if someone tells you after you mix it, that it does not matter, they are soft and wrong. Those are the people that voted for hillary ( walk away and run from them)
I love the Stoli Doli’s at the capital grill.
My new favorite are expresso martini’s. I have got a little banged up on these delicious drinks lately.
Gin and tonic ………..Yum!
Blender drinks………great on vacation and or a hot day on the dock.
I have a simple question today. Why are there two kinds of under arm protectant?
Why can’t we have both?
We put a man on the moon 40 years ago, so why can’t we have both? Why do we have to choose.
We can choose to sweat, or we can choose to stink. Personaly, I would choose to sweat, by why do we have to.
Revolt, call your congressman, write to the manufacturers. This has to stop.
I have gone old school and I have gone back to the spray. I got away from the sprays when all that stuff about florocarbons that were ruining the ozone were the rage.
Now I am back! I am tired of those lines you get when you put your shirt on after using the roll ons. I also hate the fact that you have to turn something every time you apply.
Would you share your deodorant with someone else? Of course not, but if you sprayed you would not have a problem with it.
One last thing, we send foreign aid all over the world, but do we ever send them cases of deoderant ? No we do not.
Have you ever smelled these third world dudes? they stink? They smell like rotten eggs.
We need to cut back on the wheat and rice and send them some basic Hygiene products.
Sometimes I wonder why I waste so much time thinking about this stuff, but it just pops into my head.
What a crazy rodent. Do they serve any purpose? I think not.
They are either bred to be kamikaze’s or they are in some strange fraternal order.
They stand by the side of the road and they just wait till just the right time and jump out in front of your car.
They never seem to know what to do. They run out then back, then out again. It is like they are taunting you.
Do you think that they stand there, while all their little squirrel buddies stand behind the tree and say “GO”
I do!!!
They might be in some sort of squirrel Frat house, and it is like hazing.
They seem to hesitate, like you were standing on a cliff and were going to dive in the water, and you were just trying to get up the courage.
Do you think they count? like 1..2..3 here I go?
Once in awhile, you get one and they crunch, like you just bit into 5 potato chips. It actually bothers me for like 5 minutes. You just want to say to them Why? What is so important across the road? So I always hit the break and give them a couple of extra seconds. It is the least I can do.
Do you think that squirrels get diverticulitis with all the nuts they eat? What happens when they run out? They could go to the 7-11 and get some planters?
Next time you see one of these creepy Grey fuzzy tailed little bastards, Speed up and hit the little dope. They are just rats with a bushy tail. Then all his squirrel buddies can laugh like hell behind the tree.
A man goes to a public golf course and approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, ‘Iʼd like 18 holes of golf and a caddie.’
The man behind the counter says, ‘The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this: We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you’re willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today.’
The golfer obviously accepted the man’s offer.
He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, ‘I think my driver will do the job.’ The robot caddie turned to the man and said, ‘No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole.’ Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.
The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance. But his luck didn’t end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.
Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, ‘How was your game?’ The golfer stated, ‘It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots. See you next week.
A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, ‘I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please.’
The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, ‘Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints.’
Confused, the golfer cried, ‘COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could’ve complained about those robots? They were incredible.’
The man sighed and said, ‘Well, it wasn’t their performance. It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fair way.’
The golfer said, ‘So then why didn’t you just paint them black?’ The man nodded sadly and replied, ‘We did. Then four of ‘em didn’t show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other is running for President.’
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Consideration!
I do……….
