lip smacking good!

I have waited too long to post this rant.

Why do people chew with their mouth open. From the time you are out of the womb, your mom has been telling you not to do it. Way too many people chomp away with their mouth open.

It is not hard to just keep your yap shut till you are done swallowing. Do you know why cows chew with their mouth open? Because their moms never told them no to.

Does this bother anyone else?

How about finger licking? bother you?

How about chin dribble? bother you? are you supposed to say something when someone has chin dribble? are you supposed to point? Is it the same rule as when someone has a booger in their nose, or their fly down? are you supposed to say something? What I use is the closeness factor. if I tell you that you have a hanging booger, or your fly is down, you know that you are one of monty’s best friends.

Back to lip smacking. Basically it is a rudimentary manner that any child or adult should conquer or have conquered.

Let’s talk about food that never makes the mouth. I think that this is OK. WHY do you ask? because I am the worlds biggest offender.

I cannot eat without spilling shit on me. I do not know why. A theory I have, is that I have a small mouth, or the early stages of Parkinson’s disease. Whatever it is, you can always tell what I just ate by checking my shirt or tie.

Why do you think that this affliction is mostly with fat people? My theory here is that it has a landing area. Big tits or a big belly are a safe landing zone for food. a skinny person just drops it in their napkined lap, or on the floor.

Theory two is that fat people are just shoveling it in too fast. My wife always says that I have a tongue like a conveyor belt.

What do you do when someone is talking to you and you get a food projectile that comes your way? Do you duck? do you say something? do you wipe it off? What if it lands on your plate? do not tell me that this has never happened.

Does it bother you when someone is eating on the other end of the phone?

Anyway if I am talking about you, keep your yap closed.

Do you want to talk about people that get in your personal space when they talk to you? or is that another rant? how close is too close? Maybe that subject needs more time.