Entries from October 2008 ↓

This is my second favorite holiday just behind the Fourth of July.

I love it when the little kids come to the door and you give them their loot. They grab it and run, and you always here the parents say something like ” what do you say”?   As they run off to the next house you can always hear a thank you.

My neighbor Kim always has a table of adult beverages next to the candy for a thirsty parent. I ALWAYS make my way over there for a drink.

I am not a fan of dressing up for Halloween Parties, but I do like watching other people do it. I guess I am a Halloween Voyeur.

Years ago I switched over to the big candy bars. What we used to call a nickel candy bar in the old days. The word got around the neighborhood, and now it seems that everyone has gone that way, or at least they should. WTF it cost like another $20 bucks. Things are not that bad yet, and BJ’s has a nice selection.

This year we have snickers, twizzlers,swedish fish, reeses, nerd ropes and ring pops. I think 200 should do it. The last kid through will get the balance. I do not think I need to be eating that shit.

Happy Halloween

Monty

With the election around the corner, I was thinking.

I was thinking that this is not going to go the way I want it.

I will vote for John McCain. Not because he is a republican, but because he is a hero and a good Amarican. I believe in his values. It helps that his running mate is HOT!! too. That aside I think he is the best man for the job.

That being said, I think that our next president will Be named “OBAMA”  this scares me because there will be absolute power in the hands of the tax and spend democrats. They scare me with national security and national policy.

The robin hood theory of government bothers me rob from the rich and give to the poor. I already pay my fair share and it looks like I will be paying even more. The backbone of this country is still small business and the working person. The filthy rich will still have their money, the ones hurt will be the small businessman and the upper middle class. Just the people that are the hardest workers in this country.

Again that being said, I AM A GOOD AMERICAN. I will pay my taxes, I will stand behind the country and the flag. I will support President Obama. I will do what needs to be done.

I do not like his wife, or his politics, but he will be the president and  there is no room for people in this country who do not put that aside and be a good American first and foremost.

Vote your conscience next Tuesday , and lets hope this new regime can get this ship righted.

Monty

Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the word
> *’Immigrants’* and add
> a few more letters, it spells out:
>
>
>
>
> *’Fuck off and go home you hairy faced, sandal wearing,
> bomb making, benefit
> grabbing, smelly rag head bastards’*
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> How weird is that ??

 I get asked questions all the time, so I am thinking of writing an advice column. If you have anything that is on your mind, please send your questions to  gmontgo@gmail.com   I will try to answer them for you.

My buddy Greg says everything bothers me.

I say nothing bothers me.

I like to think I let the little things go, and not let them bother me.

So the question is do things bother you, or do they annoy you, or are some people more perceptive, and they pick up on more stuff?

I think I am more perceptive.

For instance. Does it bother you that when you are in BJ’S or Costco, that you wait in line to check out, and then you have to wait in line again at the door while somebody checks your shit again and gives you a hole punch?

That just annoys me a little! Why? Do they think I stole something in the 50 foot walk from the register to the door? Do they think I am cahoots with the checkout lady? Do they think I conjured up a scheme to steal a 96 ounce box of cheerios that will last me 4 years?

Not sure why they do it, But, it annoys me. I have never seen them do anything but let someone pass through. So how effective is it? Why do NO OTHER stores do it?

How much could it cost to give me a bag? Hey the stuff is not that much cheaper.

So does it bother me?    no   Annoy me?  Yes!

Click here and find out

This is kind of neat… The number that flashes at the end is how old your brain is.

Good luck!! 
http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html

I am “34″

Presidential dance off

Click Here

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became

 aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to

come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
 
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus

driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,

thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg

She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t.
 
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached

behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the

second time attempted the step.
 
Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind

to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
 
About this time, a large Texan who was standing

behind her picked her up easily by the waist

and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
 
She went ballistic and turned to the

would-be Samaritan

 and yelled,

‘How dare you touch my body!

 I don’t even know who you are!’
 
The Texan smiled and drawled,

‘Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you,

but after you unzipped my fly three times,

I kinda figured we was friends.’

It is time to end dog racing in massachusetts and all the other states that allow it.

I have two reasons for wanting to get rid of dog racing in Massachusetts.

ONE:

My friend Susan has greyhounds and cares very much for these beautiful dogs. They were rescued from the lurches of death when they were no longer able to race effectively.

Too many were bred to race and then killed because they no longer had a need. As a dog owner I am sensitive about dogs. I know I sound a little soft, but I implore you to vote YES on question 3, and end dog racing in Massachusetts.

TWO:

I have lost far too much money over the years betting on these dogs. Besides the food sucks now at the tracks, and they are only open awaiting legislation to legalize slots.

Have you been to a track lately? They are depressing. There is nobody there but derilects gambling away their retirement and their welfare checks. It is a depressing place.

it is time to end racing for a lot of reasons.

VOTE YES ON #3

Click here for more info

After trying to make the tour for 20 years, 43 year old golfer from Weymouth finally scores big.

A High School phenom and former marine from weymouth had a dream to play on the PGA tour.

After 20 attempts the bespeckled Joe was able to pull off what many consider to be a modern day miracle.

This 12 handicapper took one more shot at the tour school in Carlsbad Ca, and shot 68, 66 and 69 to qualify him for the PGA Tour.

In his most recent tournament he is currently leading.

Las Vegas news reports.

Oct 18, 2008

Weymouth’s Joe Lovely shrugged off a run of 20 years of missing  cuts on the PGA Tour by surging into a share of the early lead in Friday’s second round of the Las Vegas Open.

A stroke off the pace overnight, Joe fired a second successive nine-under-par 63 at the TPC Summerlin to finish level with compatriot Marc Turnesa at 18-under 126.

Lovely was delighted to make the most of the ideal scoring conditions after a topsy-turvy season that has also featured four top-10s.

“I have been making some adjustments with my instructor and things have been going well,” the 43-year-old told reporters after piling up nine birdies in a flawless display. “Things are starting to pay off.

Ever since I got out of my rehab program things have been looking up for me says Lovely. I no longer feel like a temp, I feel like I belong.

It might be awhile before Joe goes back to his operations job at the factory and his real love, coaching baseball.

Try this game at least once. It is different and fun!!!!!

Click  HERE

1) You will never play professional basketball.
2) You swear very well.
3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds        political office. And you have at least one aunt who is a nun, or uncle who’s a priest.
4) You think you sing very well.
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short!
6) There isn’t a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone…
7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin.
You have never hit your head on a ceiling.
9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer (catholic guilt forever!).
10) You’re strangely poetic after a few beers.
11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot.
12) You will be punched for no good reason…a lot.
13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations.
14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen … and there is  

       at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen .
15) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.
16) You may not know the words, but that doesn’t stop you from singing.
17) You can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking.
18) You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are .. but what you lack in talent, you make up

       for in frequency.
19) There wasn’t a huge difference between your last Wake and your last keg party.
20) You are, or know someone, named Murph.
21) If you don’t know Murph then you know Mac. If you don’t know Murph or Mac then you know 

       Sully. Then you probably know Sully McMurphy.
22) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
23) You have Irish Alzheimer’s… you forget everything but the grudges!
24) ‘Irish Stew’ is a euphemism for ‘boiled leftovers.’
25) All of your losses are alcohol-related (loss of virginity, loss of driver’s license, loss of 

       money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of teeth from punch…) but it never stops  

       you from drinking.
26) Your skin’s ability to tan…. not so much.
27) At this very moment, you have at l east two relatives who are not speaking to each other 

       (not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other).
28) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included whiskey.
29) There’s no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minutes.
30) You met your husband/wife/significant other/accountant/lawyer/landscaper/etc. in a bar.

Condolece  on Irish Men

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the
currency exchange window at the local bank.

Short line. Just one lady in front of me…An Asian lady who was trying to
exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritate.

She asked the teller, ‘Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo
yen.

Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘Fluctuations!’

The Asian lady says, ‘Fluc you white people, too’.

I had a chance to drive in the Turks.

They have a saying: ” Left side is the right side, Right side is suicide”

Driving on the left side is the easy part. I have done that a bunch of times on the scooters in Bermuda.

What is fucked up, is the wheel on the right side. The shifter is on the left. The blinker is on the right and the wipers on the left. Geez.

So when you panic and try to make a turn, all you do is turn the wipers on. Then when you figure out the right side to find the turn signal. you have to push it up to go left and down for right. it is anything but intuitive. You look left to see through the rear view mirror. That is way too fucked up too. You know how you turn around a little to look behind you when you back up? well when you do it on the right side you hit your elbow and smash your face on the window.

The good news was, that the more I drank and drove around, the better I got.

Observations from abroad:

They care more about our presidential election than we do. Our economy affects  them more i guess.

The ice was bad. too small and it had wholes in it. It melted way to fast.

Too many cabs for too few people.

Duty free stuff just shows you how much we are taxed for stuff.

They have soccer playing on every TV.

We are at that stage that we can wait till next year for the Red Sox.

Idle thoughts from a casual Red Sox fan,

Varitek Please leave town with that girlfriend of yours. You suck. You cannot hit and you cheated on your wife, I have no use for you

  keep walking out of Fenway. Also try smiling once in awhile. Hell, you make $1,000,000 a month, you are banging some hot chic, you are on vacation for 5 months a year. Try to smile.

Wakefield, Timlin and Francona….Please retire.

I think Big Popi is done. I do think that if he got himself in shape, he might have a shot. But that is not going to happen.

Pedroia. Lowrie, Youk Papalbon, Ellsbury Masterson. All a good nucleus to build on.

Please sign Texiaria.

J D Please grow a heart.

Ellsbury will be big next year.

Do you think that there is anything that Francona would not put in his mouth???

Fenway is still the best park.

Tampa Bay will be hard to beat next year!

We can only hope that Hank Steinbrenner signs Manny and he helps continue the spiral in the new stadium.

Mike Lowell will always be hurt. Time to make him a platoon player off the bench.

If they resign Varitek. They should rip the C off his chest. It stands for cheater. I am sick to death about these lemmings that always say. ” he calls a good game”

Please!!!!!! Tek go away, and call a good game some place else.

Monty

It was exhausting!!!!!!