You may have seen this, but it is worth the cut and paste.
You can never get eough poop talk. people just love it. If you ever want to get a good discussion started, just bring up poop. people always have something to say or add to the subject.
If you were making a movie and wanted a sure fire laugh, just write in a fart scene and everyone laughs. i do not know what it is.
This is good advice for pooping at work, or at a public place. I am not much into it, and i avoid it at all costs, but if you gotta go, you gotta go. If you do here is some helpful advice.
We’ve all been there but don’t like to admit it. We’ve all kicked back in
our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below.. As much as we try
to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who
hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at
work.
*CROP DUSTING* When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the
smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but doesn’t know
where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart
has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left
your pants.
*FLY BY* The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping.. Walk in and
check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back
again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become
suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
*ESCAPEE* A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in a
stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you
release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you
are a man and are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did
not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved.
Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
*JAILBREAK* When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun
pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should
happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom
to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
*COURTESY FLUSH*The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits
the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the
bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
*WALK OF SHAME* Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you
have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if
someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the
smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER*A colleague who poops at work and is Doggone
proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom
with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for
the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
*THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)* A group of co-workers who band
together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help
you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify
SAFE HAVENS.
*SAFE HAVENS* A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can
least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite
sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
*TURD BURGLAR* Someone who does not realize that you a re in the stall and
tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable
moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in
the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all
uncomfortable eye contact.
*CAMO-COUGH* A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom
that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert
potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with a
SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
*SHIRLEY TEMPLE* A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert potential Turd
Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the
stall is occupied. If you hear a SHIRLEY TEMPLE, leave the bathroom
immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
*WATERMELON* A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on,
create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH..
*HAVANA-OMELET* A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in
the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH
with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
*AUNT BETTY* A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever…Could
spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An
AUNT BETTY makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should
always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as
the other bathroom attendees
SOME VARIETIES OF POOP YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF
The King Poop = This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn’t
come until you’re all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly Poop = You poop so much you lose 5 lbs.
Cement Block = You wish you’d gotten a spinal block before you poop.
Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) = Even after the third flush, it’s
still floating in there. How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at
someone else’s house.
The Bungee Poop = The kind of poop that just hangs off your rear before it
falls into the water.
The Crippler = The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long
your legs go numb from the waist down.
The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang = The kind of poop that hits you when you’re
trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
The Party Pooper = The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush
the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
Picture this you are working out. Your heart is pumping. You have your ipod on and you are in the middle of a good song. You are lost in your workout and the music.
Ok WHY???? Do people insist on talking to you? Why would you talk to a person with earplugs inbedded in their ear? They obviously do not want to talk to you. Not yet anyway.
Leave them alone. I hate it. I have to mute, or take the earplugs out and talk while I am breathing hard and enjoying the music. Next time you do it to someone, think first and it better be an emergency
While I am at it, do not talk to me through the bathroom door, or while I am watching a movie, or during the game. That is why they made commercials, and that is why I lock the door to the bathroom.
This goes back to why TIVO was the greatest invention EVER!!!
You can hit the pause and talk, or answer the phone, or pee, or just rewind and listen again. How many times have you said ” What did she say”? hit the 30 second back button and you can find it out.
For those times when a strappy sandal is inappropriate, or “too dressy,” like an early dinner, impromptu business meeting, or even a funeral, a low heeled, comfortable black pump is essential to every woman’s shoe collection. These micro-fiber pumps from Trotters are versatile, and come in an array of widths. I also like that the heel is on the chunky side.
Even with as versatile as black pumps are, they simply will not go with everything. Add a neutral colored (not white!) pump to your collection, and you’ll have the the “basic pump” category of women’s shoes covered. These suede heels from Guess show personality without being overdone.
You’ll want a shoe that can look cute with jeans, but not so casual that you couldn’t wear nicer slacks with it too. This pretty skimmer from Gabriella Rocha is a great example the kind of shoe I’m talking about, and it’s available in loads of great colors and materials.
Nothing too strappy, nothing too trendy — remember these are the basics — but a black, dressy high heel is definitely an essential. This two piece pump from Laundry by Shelli Segal is a prime example of a stunning classic. For wardrobe staples, I like fabric uppers as they’re typically more versatile than leather or patent.
There are some special occasion outfits that black shoes just won’t work with. For those, try a metallic killer evening shoe, such as this “Ursula” silver evening sandal from Nina. Shoes like these are ideal with pastels, silver, grays and whites, but will still work great with black dresses too.
Only you can be the judge of what will work best as your “every day” shoe, but whether it’s a sneaker, a loafer or a flip-flop; comfort, fit and style should be key in choosing the right shoes for your everyday wear. I wear a lot of jeans, so I’m a sucker for cute and casual flats, like these plaid skimmers from Rocket Dog.
Again, the choice is yours, but whether it’s a little white pointy sneaker, or an edgy, retro high top, every wardrobe needs a sneaker. This old-school sneaker from Adidas is one of my favorite styles — it’s perfect for walks in the park, or trips to the grocery store.
Nothing can dress up a casual outfit and make you feel better about yourself, like adding a bit of height. It doesn’t matter how high or low the heel is, it’s just about getting out of flats for a bit. Look for casual booties or shoes with a bit of a heel for times when you want to be chic, even in jeans.
Whether it’s a high-heeled fashion boot or a warm and comfy casual style, colder weather screams for boots. Plus, depending on the boots you choose, everything from skirts to jeans can look fantastic with them. Every woman’s wardrobe should have at least one pair in brown or black. I like boots with a low heel that can go casual or dressy.
I’m not talking about “glamourous” slippers here. I’m talking about, after a shower, sitting around in your bathrobe, talking on the phone kind of slippers. These spa-styled slippers from Dr. Scholl’s are exactly the kind of slippers I’m talking about. After all, whatever shoes you wear during the day, you’re feet will appreciate being pampered at night.
Lets talk about shoe fetishes. What sick perv is into shoes or feet for that matter. Do I need to come up with ten better parts of a woman. Why be obsessed with smelly feet. some people are just weird.
8 Steps to enjoy your shoe fetish:
1 Look for a partner who enjoys shoes. Even if it’s not part of a sexual fetish, many women enjoy shopping for attractive shoes. If she already has an appreciation for fine shoes, it may be that much easier to incorporate them into sex.
Step2
Encourage your partner to get pedicures. From sandals to open-toe stiletto heels, there are many types of shoes that show off the toes. When toes look their best, your partner will be more likely to show them off.
Step3
Surprise your partner with a sexy pair of shoes. It’s fairly common for couples to exchange lingerie or sex toys. When Valentine’s Day rolls around, instead of corset tops or vibrators, give your partner a red-hot pair of shoes.
Step4
Convince your partner to wear shoes during intercourse. Even if they’re just his normal work shoes, it’s a start. If he sees how much enjoyment it brings you, he may be more likely to indulge your fantasy again.
Step5
Smell your partner’s shoes. A true fetishist enjoys shoes for more than their look or feel. Sniffing shoes can be a very evocative way to experience them and feel closer to your partner at the same time.
Step6
Masturbate using shoes you find sexually stimulating. Many shoe lovers get their fix privately and discreetly by using shoes while pleasuring themselves. Try ejaculating in or on a sexy pair of red-leather pumps.
Step7
Frequent websites that explore your fetish. No matter what the kink, the Internet will have a website dedicated to it. Since some people aren’t comfortable discussing a shoe fetish with others, the Internet can be a convenient and discreet way to satisfy all those naughty-shoe urges.
Step8
Explore fetishes with crossover appeal. Elements of foot fetishes and dominance/submission role-play involve a practice known as “foot worship.” Finding a partner who likes to have his feet worshiped can be a gateway to satisfying your own fetish for shoes.
One last thing, how the Hell do you walk in those high Heels? and why would you wear anything that uncomfortable?
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
> buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you
> see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re
> serving rum balls.
>
> 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare.. You
> cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who
> cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if
> you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a
> treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you
> think. It’s Christmas!
>
> 3. if something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of
> gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out
> of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
>
> 4. as for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk
> or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a
> sports car with an automatic transmission.
>
> 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
> control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party
> is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
>
> 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
> Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to
> do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling
> the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that
> vat of eggnog.
>
> 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
> frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
> yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before
> becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of
> shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
>
> 8. Same for pies. Apple,Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or
> if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
> have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
> LaborDay?
>
> 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the
> mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,
> have some standards.
>
> 10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the
> party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention.
> Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the
> corner. Remember this motto to live by:
>
>
> “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
> arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but
> rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body
> thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a
> ride!”
>
> Have a great holiday season
>
>
When the extreme makeover show first came on, I watched. It was sort of nice and heartwrenching, BUT it is the same show week after week after week after week.
They take a disaterous situation, sombody with a hardship, or somebody with fucked up kids, and they take the shithole they are living in, and give them this HUGE gaudy house that is completely out of their normal lifestyle.
Ok it works in a few cases. But what they do, is get volunteers to do evrything and then they make a monstrosity that does not fit into a neighborhood. It makes all the other people around them jealous.
ABC and Sears should put all that money and time into Habitat for the humanities and spread the wealth, instead of giving it all to one family.
Here is how it goes. a fucked up family who lives in a shithole, sends a sob story into ABC. They come out and get thousands of volunteers to build a mansion where a shithole used to be. They move that fucking bus and people all cry and cry some more.
People live in a house that they cannot afford the taxes on, they cannot afford the upkeep and the utilities. All the neighbors hate them because they are jealous. They get foreclosed on, and then have to move into another shithole with fucked up kids.
The circle of life continues.
Here is one case.
From rebuilt to foreclosed: A home featured on an episode of the ABC television show “Extreme Makeover” (pictured, left) in January 2005 is scheduled to be auctioned off at the Clayton County Courthouse on August 5, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reports.
The Harper family of Lake City, Ga., used the new home as collateral for a $450,000 loan to finance its own construction business, a venture that ultimately failed. The Harpers original house included a faulty septic system that backed sewage into the home when it rained. After tearing that structure down, “Extreme Makeover” and Beazer Homes USA, a home builder based in Atlanta, built the new four-bedroom home. More than 1,800 volunteers took part in the six-day project, which was the show’s largest one to date at the time.
Complete with a three-car garage, four fireplaces, a music room and a solarium, as well as a fancy yard full of magnolia and cypress trees, the new home stood out in its neighborhood of ranch and split-level homes, the Atlanta Journal Constitution says. The materials and labor, valued at about $450,000, were donated.
But the Harpers didn’t just get a fancy new house after the show. Beazer Homes raised $250,000 as contributions for the family to use as scholarships for the three children and for a home maintenance fund. While the home was being built, the Harper family spent six days at Disneyland.
ABC responded to The Atlanta Journal Constitution by email and stated: “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” advises each family to consult a financial planner after they receive their new home,” ABC said in an email to the Atlanta Journal Constitution. “Ultimately, financial matters are personal and we work to respect the privacy of the families.”
I sent this out in an email and did not expect to get it back. I did by almost everyone. The answers were a riot.
Why was the last answer Captain Morgan in most cases? what about the diet coke? and a cherry? is that three things?
1. Where did we meet? ____________________
2. Take a stab at my middle name?______________
3. Do I smoke?______________________
4. Color of my eyes?_______________ ______
5.Do I have any siblings?__________________
6. What’s one of my favorite things to do?__________________
7. What’s my favorite type of music_______
8. Am I shy or 2 outgoing?___
9. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?_______
10. Any special talents?____________________
11. How many children do I have?_____________
12. If you and I were stranded on a deserted island, what is one thing
that I would bring?___
The answers are:
Probably at a party
William
not cigarettes, but i did most of my life. Bad idea!
Blue ( bloodshot most of the time)
3
be with JoJo, boat,golf and gamble
Dance music. ( Van Morrison is my favorite singer )
outgoing
I follow the rules. Hell I am married to the ” rulelady ”
I can touch my nose with my tongue
2 kids
JoJo and Captain Morgan ( don’t ask me to pick just one)
As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama will be our next President, and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.
To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who will have to go.
So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8 Obama bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them.
The buses pulled up to The Hall at Patriot Place Monday morning around 9:30, carrying some 200 8th-grade students from Hanover (Mass.) Middle School.
Each had read Tedy Bruschi’s book, Never Give Up, as part of their academic support period – a 30-minute window each school day when the kids are supposed to read a book of their choosing.
But recently, their English teacher, Martha Stamper (a self-proclaimed die-hard Bruschi fan), suggested they all read the Patriots linebacker’s account of his stroke, subsequent recovery, and return to the NFL.
“Many times, it’s a struggle to get them to sit down and read,” Stamper explained. “They have a really busy schedule and often need that break in between classes. Sometimes they just want to chat.”
When they started reading Bruschi’s book, however, “you could walk through any room and hear a pin drop,” Stamper added.
“It really grabbed their attention and focused on a lot of current issues that kids these days might be going through. And it’s the Patriots, so it made that real-world connection. We read a lot of good literature, but it’s not often we get to read about somebody who’s alive, who’s an active member of a team. So, it was all of those things put together that really made it just the perfect choice.”
In order to arrange any type of field trip these days, teachers have to tie it somehow to their curriculum. So, a visit to Foxborough (about a 45-minute drive from Hanover) was justifiable after the kids had read Bruschi’s book.
The date on the calendar made sense, too. It was sandwiched in between Patriots home games, and the following day (Veterans Day) would be a day off for the kids. None of them – teachers included – expected Bruschi himself to show up and greet them when they arrived – as evidenced by the chorus of “ooohs,” “Oh, my Gods,” and teenage-girl screams that went up when Bruschi, clad in a rugby shirt and blue jeans, strode into the building.
For the next 45 minutes, a patient Bruschi, who was clearly enjoying himself, answered questions from his appreciative audience. Nearly every question he fielded was a serious one, and many dealt with his life-altering stroke.
“I don’t have a lot of experience being around middle school kids. So, I didn’t know what questions to expect,” Bruschi admitted later. “It was a wide range of questions. I was very impressed by their knowledge of my situation, that they could read a book like that and get something from it.”
They asked about any side effects he may still experience, what inspired him to come back, and what he would have done with his life if returning to football were not an option.
There were some light-hearted queries as well, like what his favorite team was growing up (the Dallas Cowboys, he said, because he wanted to be different than his brother, a Niners fan), why he wears the number 54, and if he enjoys having paparazzi.
Bruschi received a huge applause from the assembly when he answered one student’s request for football tips by picking a kid from the front row to help demonstrate his point.
“It’s all about leverage and balance,” he told the young player, before asking his assistant to bend his knees.
“What’s your name?” he asked the boy.
“Dan,” came the shrill, obviously nervous reply, which drew laughter from his classmates.
“OK, Dan, now drive through my chest,” Bruschi instructed him, and as he did, the young man saw how, with his relatively tiny frame, he could move the 6-1, 240-pound linebacker.
When the Q&A session ended, Bruschi asked if he could take a group photo with his new camera phone.
As the kids huddled around him, their teacher snapped the picture. He then obliged a few requests for hugs before it was time for the kids to continue with their tour of the facility.
Bruschi then spent a few minutes with Patriots.com and the video crew from Patriots Today. He was asked if he might consider going into teaching when his playing days are over.
“Teaching is very fulfilling, to be able to help mold young people,” he replied. “It would be an honor to be in that profession. Whether I’d go to it or not, I don’t know. I don’t know where my life’s going to take me. I’ve learned to take things one day at a time at this point in my life. But wherever I go, I hope I still have that ability to make a difference in some people’s lives.”
I have asked several times for guest columns. I still want to see more from you.
Here is a post from a teacher that found time during her 180 days off to write to the monty minute.
I requested to be a guest blogger on the Monty Minute because the author of this site has expressed several times, that teachers’ do not do anything. I resent this comment and would first like to start by saying that perhaps if he appreciated his teachers that his grammar would not be so atrocious. I am a teacher if you haven’t already figured this out. I take my job as an educator very seriously. Each day I welcome my students at the door with a big smile. I try to make every lesson engaging and interesting. Now most of you may think that a teacher keeps using the same materials every year; which is completely FALSE. Each year I reflect on what I have used and make changes, because every child is different and every class is different. I also want to clear up the common misconception that teachers leave at 2:30 everyday. I arrive at school at 6:30 A.M. and often leave at 5:30 P.M or later. Not to mention the hours of work I bring home with me each day.As I said before I take my job seriously, because these children are the future of this world. I am not only a teacher, but often time a “psychologist” as well. I often bring the thoughts of the trials and tribulations of my students’ home with me everyday. I have one hundred and twenty children whose lives are all equally important to me. Next time you want to generalize teachers, think about a teacher that meant something to you and consider whether your comments would affect them.
Now I already know that “Monty” will talk about ALL the vacation time we get, I would challenge youto teach my students for a week and we will see if you need a vacation.
I Love Steak Houses. Some are better than others, but I am hard pressed to find one I do not like. When you pay top dollar for good service and a good piece of beef, it better be good and should be good.Well I found a steak house that just sucks!!!!!!!The Palm restaurant in Boston is just awful. I had the opportunity to go there the other day with 5 people for a late lunch. We had a nice table and a nice waiter ( Aaron ) but that was the end of it.The food was just plain hideous and atrocious. We had calamari, tomato and mozzarella, scallops and bacon for starters. The calamari was over cooked and the scallops and bacon went another step and came out BURNT. Hard to screw up tomato and cheese but that was no great shakes either.The entrees and sides came next. I had the steak Au puave with the half and half it was supposed to be half onion rings and half cottage fries it actually was half potato chips and half burnt onion breaded shit. have you ever got those onions in a can? They would be more desirable than the crap they put on the plate.The steak was over done. The sauce was terrible, and the fries stunk. Nothing good came out of that meal. I was not alone. ALL the others at the table were equally disappointed. It was presented badly and tasted worse. some were under done and some were just BURNT…..The waiter came and plopped this huge tray of grossly over-sized slices of cake on the table. None of it looked appetizing. We all passed, paid the exorbitant bill and unanimously stated that none of us would ever go back.I had heard bad things about the Palm before, but chose to make my own judgement. Do Not make the same mistake, Do Not Go There.Overpriced, crappy food. ( that is being as kind as I can be) I had dinner at Flemmings the same night. it was great. Also try Capital grill and Abe and Louie’s. All consistently excellent.
You know how much I like to eat.There are two things in life I cannot tolerate. One is bad food and bad service.The second is not being nice to my kids. My son had a very bad experience at The Bobby Byrnes Pub in Hyannis. I have asked him to write and share his experience for everyone to read. Craig writes:I went out for dinner at Bobby Burns Tavern down the street from the condo last week. It was one of the worst places I have ever eaten. The wait staff was not courteous and very rude. They did not treat me with the respect a normal restaurant would show you. The food was disgusting and had a hard time eating it. Dirty is not a word I would use to describe the place it was absolutely filthy. I wanted to get up and leave several times but I figured it couldn’t get any worse, unfortunately it did.
When I first got to the restaurant I respected the “Please wait to be seated”, that was a mistake. It took about ten minutes for the hostess to come and seat me. The bartender was not very friendly either; he acted like he was busy when there weren’t more than four people at the bar. I just wanted to play some Keno and get a beer but that seemed a little difficult for this guy. While I was waiting to play my numbers they came out. The bartender had just lost me a hundred and fifty dollars, I was furious. Eventually I sat down and waited for the waitress which took another ten minutes. She was the least friendly person in the whole place, I thought she might be having a bad day but probe not. She didn’t even clean my table off and when I got my food she tossed it at me. The food at Bobby Burns is a whole different story.
The food at Bobby Burns is terrible and honestly not very edible. It took so long to finally get my food I thought Id be so hungry that I wouldn’t care what I ate. I ordered the buffalo chicken tenders and a pizza, I figured it would be hard to screw that up but I was wrong again. There were only three chicken tenders and a couple celery sticks, it was not very filling. The tenders were all brown and burnt; it looked like they had been cooking since I’d been there. I started to get worried about how the pizza was going to be. Finally the waitress brought my pizza over and threw it on the table. It was the ugliest pizza I had ever seen. It was half cooked on the inside and the cheese wasn’t even melted. The pizza was inedible; I could have made something better at my house. If the food and the help wasn’t bad enough the restaurant was filthy.
I was appalled at the up keep of Bobby Burns, the place was filthy. It started when I sat down and there was food and plates all over my table. The waitress didn’t even bother to clean it off. After servicing my own table and flicking the old French fries on the ground I figured I’d get a beer. It decided it was a bad idea after I looked at the glass, it was filthy. The glass still had grease on it and I could swear I could see the lip marks of the person who last used it. I began to wonder about the plates they were using and if they just pushed the food off and reused it. This place was gross but the funny thing was the bathrooms weren’t bad.
If you are ever starving and looking for somewhere to eat please don’t go to Bobby Burn’s in Hyannis. The people who work there are not your typical staff, they are all unfriendly and very unprofessional. The buffalo tenders were terrible and I didn’t even attempt to eat their pizza. My glass being filthy was just unacceptable, that place is far from clean. I just hope you never make the mistake and go eat there.
Monty writes:
You can bet that I will never eat there , and I hope anybody that reads this will not either. To screw a poor college kid out of what might be his one trip a month
out of a decent meal is unacceptable.
By the way, I have eaten there before and it was not good for me either.
I was thinking about the good things that have happened to me.
Of course #1 is always the same. Being married to Joanne.
But besides that, I think the best thing has been the lasik surgery I got 2 years ago.
I am typing this without the need for glasses. I can see the keyboard and the screen. Two years ago, I was more like Stevie Wonder typing without glasses.
It is expensive, but it is worth it.
I remember when My eyes started going on me. I was about 41 or 42. I always had eyes like a hawk. I was blessed with perfect vision. Then they started to go, I had trouble in dark rooms seeing, then I had trouble with reading the paper.
I was playing golf one day with an eye doctor, and I asked him, what do you think, I am having trouble reading, and seeing the word titleist on the ball. His medical answer was DER! You are a moron. You are probably like age 40-43 right. I said right and her said DER again. So that must be the magic age. I suffered for about 15 years gradually getting worse. I started with the cvs readers(cheaters) at a low level, then went to the higher levels. I had 30 pair at any one time. 3 at work one pair in every bathroom, one in every car, one in the golf bag. one on the boat, one in my pocket. you get it. I still was missing them when I needed them.
Then the distance started to go? Geez. The Mrs had the Lasik done 10 years previous and it was a miracle. She had coke bottle glasses from the time she was 6 . she was blind without glasses ten times worse than I ever was. she went in and over night, she had better eyesight than a pilot. a true miracle.
Mine is not perfect now, not as perfect as hers, but I do not need the cheaters anymore, so I think it was worth the money.
I asked a few of the woman I know that wear glasses why they do not do it, and they all gave me the same answer, If I had that kind of money, I would get fake boobs before I would have my eyes fixed. I am not a boob guy so I do not get it, but with the lasik, I can see them perfectly, so I think they should go for it.
After all the election shit, and all the crying about the economy, I am going back to what the monty minute was about.
Porn
Jokes
Restaurant reviews
and rants about what drives me crazy.
It does get tougher every day. I need some suggestions about what to piss and moan about. give me some help. If it bothers you, it probably bothers me.
I’m voting Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
I’m voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my horse.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I’m voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I’m voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.
I’m voting Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.
I’m voting Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.
’A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don’t own’ William F. Carling
It is day two after the election. I waited a day to let this all settle in.
Of course I have a few thoughts.
When do the checks come? I think people are waiting for this redistribution of wealth. Hello!!!
If the democrats want to redistribute the wealth, there is only one way to hurt rich people. Tax inheritance. That is where the real money in this country is. It is passed down.
leave the people alone that actually work and earn it. if you make more money than the guy next door. You either work harder. work smarter, or were very lucky. In any case, you earned it, so enjoy it. Dont let the government take it from you.
There are two types of people. No they are NOT black and white. They are the givers and the takers. I think the takers are sitting there today with their hand out.
Just where do I drop my Lexus off? who gets that in the redistribution?
Guess what? 4 years from now, the rich will be rich and the slackers will still be poor and the working guy and the small business man will be still taking it on the chin. It is the way it is.
The absolute power of the Democrats scare me. We just lost the balance in the system that makes a democracy work.
Why would barack start backpedaling in his acceptance speech talking about 8 years. People want change today..
I think our new president is a VERY smart guy. Lets hope he looks out for every Americans interest. I worry about all the paybacks that are coming.
I have to think that there are two men in this country that are going to take the longest vacation ever. Bush and McCain. They have to be saying screw this. I am done. I am getting a cold beer and hanging out on a deserted beach for a loooong time.
I still like sarah Palin. I found her refreshing and real. I think she will end up being hired by a network to do some sort of talk show or the view or something. She will get like $5,000,000 to do it. Good fer her.
John kerry for Secretary of state? OMG!!!! Please say no it will not happen.
Barney Frank is back? he can not even speak a clear sentence. Is he still running the finances for this country OMG!!! maybe he can use the same business acumen that made his gay brothel so successful.
I have a lot more thoughts on this, but I will cut it off here.
Loading ...
