Entries from April 2009 ↓

Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of
Rome.

One leans over to the other and says, “I’ve never come this way
before.”

The other Nun whispers, “It’s the cobblestones.”

I have to get ready to go to Baltimore tomorrow, so this might be the abridged version of the draft.

I watched all six hours of the first two rounds without pause. i watched on tivo most of the second day. So I know what i speak

Let’s start with a few facts The pats suck at the draft. They always have the most picks and they seldom come away with any decent players beyond the first round.

They think they are smarter than all the experts, and they continue to “reach” for players. this is ok, but WHY? In most cases, they can always get the same player in a later round.

They also trade out of most of their picks. They disguise their cheap nature, by saying they think they can get the same player in the next round.

Why if their only real success is in the first round, and they have a hideous history in the second round, would they trade out of round one for round two. They have 4 picks this year, so MAYBE one of them might be a player for them down the road.

The greatest draft clas in recent history was 2004.( 1982 being   the best) The Pats had 5 picks in the top 100, with two number one’s and a two and 2 3″s . That should be the core of their team today right.

NOT

They have Vince wilfolk left and slippery hands Ben Watson. PK Sam and the others are long gone.

Ok for 2009 we had 11 picks and the most of any team in the top 100.

We traded out of round one. WHY? 

We took a guy who cannot play for at least a year.

We took a guy that only snaps, and the best white guys on the o-line that they could find.

Oh ya, we got more picks for next year, that we will trade next year for more picks in 2011, which we will trade for more picks in 2012. Eventually, we will aactually use the picks to get a player TODAY.

We traded our only corner for more picks. Hobbs sucks, but he was our only corner. So it would make sense that we would draft a slew of corners right? Ya right. NOT We just took more defensive tackles. God knows we have more than our fair share now.

Ok

Patrick Chung- Chinese jamacian. He smokes some ganga, then goes out for a pu pu platter i guess.

He actually is ok, but they missed on Dumas that got picked before him. There were better choices here. Like maybe a replacement for Teddy Bruschi. Teddy is 46 years old and weighs like 199 I think. He only has to hold up till December when the 90 year old Junior Seau comes back from the beach.

Ron Brace-DT Boston College. a reach here again. Bob Kraft took him to avoid having to pay for plane fair for a visit. Der It was not him making plays it  was BJ Raj

Darius Butler CB from Uconn- Who fucking ray. They finnaly got one right. this guy should be terrific Great pick, and geez, we need a CB

Sebastian Vollmer- white guy for the O-Line what a shock. he must have a beard too Fit him for his Patriots flannel shirt and throw him in the mix with the other identical quintuplets. A big reach. They could have had this stiff in round 5 there were tons of good tackles and other players here. Stupid pick.

Brandon Tate- Great pick great player. The best player selected in the patriots draft. Problem is, he cannot play for at least two years. He is a great talent but a nitwit. he tested positive for dope at the combine. DER did you not get the memo that they test. If he ever plays. he will be great. But what good does that do us now.

By the way if we are going to waste picks, how about trading up for a Aaron Curry or a Michael Crabtree. I guess mr Bob Two Toned shirts Kraft does not want to spend any of Myras money.

Tyrone Mckenzie- OMG  WTF we finally got a linebacker. too friggin late boys. we let the other 12 that could play already get picked. We had 99 picks or something and we get one linebacker.

Next a couple of more white lineman, and then WOW in the year of a black president, we finnally piucked up a black guy George Bussey. I wonder if they knew. If he makes the team, he might have to trade in his spinning hubcaps for a flannel shirt to fit in.

The next three guys were more defensive tackles and some wide reciever named Edelman. He must be related to Kraft.

How would you feel if you were Vince Wilfork. Our only decent player from 2004. The pats drafted like 3 nose tackles

No running backs. lawrence you are safe for now, till you go on IR again

One yup One linebacker are you shitting me? 

How about a QB? we have one coming off surgery and last years rookie Do you think we might have taken a tom brady in the sixth round?

Our recievers are all old and their cotracts are all expiring. a stud reciever would have been nice. maybe in three years Tate will be over his ACL

For all that fire power, they misused their bullets AGAIN.

I grade them a C- ( Thanks darius for that genorous grade)

I will grade the other teams later when I get back. There were 6 teams that kicked butt in the draft based on what they had . One was Buffalo. watch out for them.

I live for the NFL draft. I usually lock myself in a room surrounded by papers and statistics and 40 times and benchpress numbers. I sigh everytime some team reaches for a player.

What is really frustrating for a Patriots fan, is that I wait for the pick. They say ” the Patriots are on the clock” and then the commissioner comes out and tells us that the Pats have traded the pick to some team for a lower pick and one next year.

Here is my mock Draft. Shame on the teams if they do not take my advice.

Detroit- Matt Stafford, although Sanchez will be better

St Louis- Jason Smith, safe pick, he will be just ok.

Kansas City-Aaron Curry, best LB/De out there solid. They will probably trade out though

Seahawks- Michael Crabtree, great pick- he is another in a long line of idiot rubberheads that play wide out in the NFL, but he has skills

Browns- Bj Raj, he has skyrocketed up in the draft. solid player in the 3/4

Cincinnati Bungles- Eugene monroe  good pick

Raiders -Brian Orakpo, this guy has the body to play in the NFL

Jacksonville-Tyson Jackson

Green Bay-Malcolm Jenkins

San Fran-Mark Sanchez if he isnt gone already somebody will move up for him

Buffy-Rey Maualuga

Broncos-Jeremy Macklin

Skins-Andre Smith Continues a run on tackles

The Aints- Ebon Britton

Texans-Clay matthews or brian cushing

Diego-Vontae davis

J>E>T>S>Chris wells

Broncos-Everrete brown- another riser in the draft

Tampa bay- Josh Freeman

Lions-Aaron Maybin

Eagles-Darrius heyward -Bey

Vikings-Micahel Oher

PATRIOTS- Brandon Pettigrew Tight end. I know dont be surpised, but probably either Matthews or Cushing, whoever is available. They might not pick here anyway, I would trade it for ochocinco. Maybe William Beatty

Falcons- Darius Butler

Dolphins-Robert Ayers

Ravens-Brandon pettigrew

Indy-Knoshown Moreno

Buffalo-Peria Jerry

Giants-Might take Kenny Britt. if not they take.Percy harvin and leave Britt for the Pats

Titans-Donald Brown

Cardinals-Larry English

Steelers-Sean Smith or Conner barwin

Pats pick at 34- kenny Britt Wr Rutgers

Lets see how I do, and how the pats do.

monty

It is my blog right, and I can bitch about whatever. Right?

Well………. I am pissed off about plastic wrap.

Plastic wrap sucks.

I know I am a moron, BUT The shit just does not work for me.

First I pull it out and it clings to itself, then I carefully extricate itself from itself and it wont cling to anything. A bowl, a plate anything. It makes me crazy.

I watch woman do it, and it clings like   glue. No word of a lie, when i do it it is like it is coated in flour. it just does not cling.

I end up just wrapping it around the bowl like 15 times.

Am I alone on an island again. Please tell me that there is another person with the same issues.  someone come to my rescue, before the guys come in white coats and wrap me in saran wrap and take me away to the funny farm ( where life is beautiful all the time)

The scientific answer is:

Plastic wrap is a thin plastic film typically used for sealing food items in containers to keep them fresh. Plastic wrap, typically sold on rolls in boxes with a cutting edge, clings to many smooth surfaces and can thus remain tight over the opening of a container with no adhesive or other devices. Common plastic wrap is roughly 0.01 mm thick.

Plastic wrap is known as cling-film in the United Kingdom and cling wrap in the United States. The most commonly used term in Australia is Glad wrap as opposed to Saran wrap,

Go back a year ago and review my post on the post draft. I said that mayo would surprise everyone and that  he was a stud. I said he would be better than anyone thought.

I also said that the rest was just OK. A lot of nobodies, and that the patriots continue to reach when they do not have to. They think they are smarter than everyone else. They are not. They remain one of the worst drafting teams in the NFL

For this year, as usual we have the most picks. They love to stockpile picks, and not use them. I can guarantee you two things. One, we will not use 11 picks, and we will only pick in the position we have half the time. You can count on lots of movement.

That being said, Here are our needs in order:

Linebacker

Corner

Safety

O-line

Wide Receiver

Running Back

D Line

Quarterback

The only two players I would move up for in the first round would be BJ Raj from Boston College and or michael Crabtree.

If they stay at 23, I would look for them to take either Rey Mauagula ( USC) Maybin ( Penn State) or Vonate davis, if they are available.

Of the lb’s I rank them Maybin-maualuga-English-cushing-laurenitus & Sintim ( I left out Aaron Curry-no chance)

You hear Larry English alot in their slot. They might take a corner here like Alphonso Smart, or Vontae davis, or darius butler from UCONN. and then they would take a stab at one of the linebackers still on the board in the second round.

I would be happy to see them go wide out and get a stud across from the aging Moss. Maybe Kenny Britt, or Percy harvin ( how many times can we bust on Florida receivers)

A safe pick in the second round, will be an O-Lineman and a safety.

Don’t expect a running back till late if at all.

I would love to see Ball State QB Nate davis   sneek in at a late pick. I like him a lot

Overall, the Pats need to make a killing with this draft. They need this badly to build for the future. They need to hit on at least 5 starters for 2011.

My big wish is for the Pats to trade for Chad Ochocinco. BB likes him, and he would be rediculous across from moss with Welker in the middle. Outside of that , maybe a draft day deal for julius peppers.

My draft nightmare would be for the Pats to waste a pick on a Tight End. They keep screwing that up.

I will report back the day after the draft for a grade. My guess is that if they use the 6 picks in the  100, then it should be a good one.

Monty

Is it me? again?

Maybe it is my age, but i used to really like MTV and VH1 when they played music videos.

Now it is all reality and kids shit. Even CMt the country station does not play music video’s

Call me old fashion, but I liked the video’s

Presidential ice cream

In honor of the 44th president of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has issued a new flavor, “Barocky Road.”
Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes.
The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient.
The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.
The cost is $100 per scoop.
When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.
Thus you are left with an empty wallet, no change, holding an empty cone, with no hope of getting any ice cream.
Aren’t you feeling stimulated?

13  Things PMS Stands For:

1.  Pass My Shotgun
2.  Psychotic Mood Shift
3.  Perpetual Munching Spree
4.  Puffy Mid-Section
5.  People Make me Sick
6.  Provide Me with Sweets
7.  Pardon My Sobbing
8.  Pimples May Surface
9.  Pass My Sweatpants
10.  Pissy Mood Syndrome
11.  Plainly; Men Suck
12.  Pack My Stuff
and  a favorite one :
13.  Potential  Murder Suspect

Previte’s

1350 Washington Street

Weymouth, Ma 02189

781-331-6364

Prevites was always a favorite stop of mine when I went to Quincy. They have THE BEST MEAT around.

Their chicken is to die for. I know, how can you get excited about chicken? but for some reason it is better and moister  than anything you can get at a market. I asked them why and they said that they buy only select grade “A” chicken.

It doesn’t stop there, the meats are cut fresh and the butchers are professional and very helpful. These guy’s are a riot. They have fun with you and always leave you laughing. They are more than an act. They know their meat!!!

Peter & Paul ( That is a ribeye not mary. They are not a 60's band )

You need to buy the two pound bone in rib eye’s. Grab some of their ribeye seasoning, and do a little rub. Then sear each side, and set it aside on the top rack of the grill or in the oven. This will be the best thing you ever ate.

make Previte’s your one stop for tailgates, cookouts, and cooking on the back of your boat.

Mention ” The Monty Minute” when you talk to the butcher. They will stand on their head for you.

Oh ya! come hungry and stay for lunch or dinner. The eat in food is awesome. Huge hot dishes, fresh cold cuts, huge subs and even salads. Grab your food and drink and head out to the lobby for lunch at the cafe.

If you are still hungry and I promise you cannot be, walk next door to Fratelli’s bakery for a cannoli or a pastry.

I almost forgot, the new Fish section is as fresh as their meats. Unless you stood at the boat docks, you cannot get any fresher fish.

Take my word for it. Buy your canned goods at Stop & Shop and get your meats and fish at Previte’s

I could go on and on, but try it out for yourself.

Monty

muchas-gracias

Thanks for paying your taxes, My illegal friends appreciate it very much…

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn’t have one.
The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Bush is one.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi’s.
What is it?
Answer below! (this is pretty good )

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A Last Name

Why do they always say Happy in front of Easter?  What is so happy about it. I would be happy if I could be doing something else on Easter.

Lets see I have been going to the same family function with my wifes family for 34 years.

ENOUGH!!!!

At least, could we go to a restaurant just once? Or maybe could I go to Esaster dinner with MY side of the family just once.

Same shit year after year…………

ENOUGH

Of all the holidays, if we could get rid of one, it would be Easter for me. It kinda sucks.

At least yesterday, I could lay on the couch and watch the Masters all day.

Happy? Easter

Today is Good Friday. I don’t know what that means?

I know the market is closed. Schools are closed and not much else.

I think it is one of those trumped up made up holidays to give a certain type of person the day off.

Boston has Evacuation day off every year on St Patrick’s day to give the Irish the day off to get drunk.

It makes me think about what would be a ” Good Friday”

It reminds me of that joke:

The Perfect Day – Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses

9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale

9:30 Light Breakfast

11:00 Sunbathe

12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe

1:45 Shopping

2:30 Run into boyfriend’s/husband’s ex and notice she’s gained 30 lbs

3:00 Facial, massage, nap

7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing

10:00 Make love

11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day – Him

6:45 Alarm.

7:00 Shower and massage.

7:30 Blowjob.

7:45 Massive dump while reading Patriots football weekly.

8:15 Limo arrives, Expresso Martini.

8:30 Butler Aviation, Logan airport, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.

9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.

11:30 Lunch – 2 dozen oysters, 6 captains and diet ” No LIME”.

12:30 Blowjob.

12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.

2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Cosmo Martini.

3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six more captain’s, nap.

6:15 Blowjob.

6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.

7:30 Shit, shower, shave.

8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Yankees losing. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in a scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals).

9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero

10:30 Sex

11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep

My Good friday:

For me a Good Friday would be waking up next to JOJO

Having the day off

Heading off to the boat on a wind free day.

a cruise around the islands. Stopping off behind Worlds end long enough for a swim and lunch.

Back to the docks to have a cookout and drinks with my friends.

Going home and spending the rest of the night sitting around watching TV with JOJO and my two kids.

That would be a “good Friday”.

Three men married women from different states.

The first man married a woman from Texas. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from Florida. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Massachusetts. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him.

The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. “Hmm…” mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. “Aha!” said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors… Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side… then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.

The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.

The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, “How does that fe el now?”
The midget replied, “Perfect Doc, and I didn’t even feel it.. What did you do?”
The doctor replied “I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots…

Opening Day today….

Some random thoughts………..

For someone who has season tickets, I do not like baseball very much. I did not go once last year.

But people are GaGa over the Red Sox.

Seems to me that two types of people like the red sox the most. Democrats, and people that are not really athletes. people that were athletes usually like the other sports more.

Why would someone keep score during the game?.

Theo finally has his team of robots. he got rid of all the characters. He has a team of Corporate types. It will probably work, but who wants to watch it. Boring….

Is tim wakefield still on the team. Did you ever notice that he sucks. That he gets a haircut every 3 days. That he is 40 something. he is one of Tito’s butt buddies.

Speaking of tito, is his mouth ever empty in the dugout? he keeps shoving shit in there for 9 innings.

Varitek? Hmm do you think he will hit over 200 now that he has dumped his family and has started banging all those young blonde chicks.

They froze the ticket prices at Fenway  and they want us to think that they have gone crazy, and they are giving it away. The payroll is down about 100 million. Why not cut them in half?

161 games is way too long. really it should be like 120 tops. No one should play baseball in April and October in the north.

Baseball is great for people that need to fill time in their lives.

Every team in baseball seems to be ” getting it” except for the Yankees.

I pick the Red Sox for 3rd in the American league east behind the Yankee’s and the Rays. Both those teams are better.

I could go on, but I will have to save the rest for the next 8 months of endless games.

When is the NFL draft?  only kidding, I know the date, time, and how many minutes between picks. it is the best day in sports.

Monty

don’t worry, nothing will jump out at you…..

This will drive you crazy!!!!!!!!!!!

CLICK ON THE BALL AND IT WILL CHANGE COLOR.

CLICK HERE: BALL