The boat is still dead. It is so dead that a priest came on board and gave it last rites.
I am turning into a eating and drinking machine. I am blowing up like a tick. Nothing else to do.
We were in Hilo today on the BIG Island. The chicks went to the botanical gardens. The guys got two bottles of vodka and a case of beer and went to Boiling pots and the Rainbow falls. We spent the day swimming and diving off the cliffs.
When we left at night, we cruised by the active lava flow. It was impressive, but the most impressive part was the sky. i never ever saw so many stars. We saw at least 3 shooting stars. Awesome display.
I have found a new language this week. It is called Pamilism, or the words of Pam (my sister in law)
Some Pamism’s:
BOTE- she was yelling at us to get on the boat and we just kept saying what are you talking about and she yells back Boat you know B-O-T-E Bote…. We just looked at her in amazement
then she sees the Koi swimming and she says wow look at thos koyiya fish.. we said what? and she said koowhy-ya fish. OMG it is a new language
Then we drive by a cafe and she says that we should try that KAFE pronounced Kafe like safe. Jesus. it is getting worse.
then she says ” The sun and the moon and that other thing” we said what other thing, and she says you know the other thing. I think she meant stars. But that would be in our world not Pam’s.
Did you ever see one of those directional signs on a boat? The one that says ” You are Here” Pam looks at it, and says ” How do they know that we are here”
Hi All if you are bored with this, just move on to something else. Try one of your usual trusted sites like facebook, twitter, youporn, or whatever you do when there is no content on the minute worthy of your time.
We are still traveling in a pack of twelve likr the dirty dozen. This becomes tough. no one can make a move. We are paralyzed by the size of the group. We need a team leader. We have one in JOJO, but after a moth of preperation, she stepped aside and let others take a more active role. WHAT A MISTAKE!!!!
We had to saddle her up and ask her to take control again. Every team needs a boss and a leader and that is surely JOJO. She has guided me through life, so another ten lost soles should be easy for her.
We decided to take the ride up Kaleapanieopi* mountain or something
* let me digress for a second. This state needs to be called the ” VOWEL STATE” OMG every word has like a shit load of vowels. They string them together in non sensical order too. Maui, Hawaii, Kapalua etc. TONS of vowels. I guess they only have 13 letters intheir albhebet. K is big, and L and M No z’s or Q’s or s’s. It is enough to put Vana White on the soup line.
Oh ya the climb to 10,000 feet. I was a driver in a soccer mom Van. up the windy roads of a cloud covered mountain. The ride never ended. Picture going up Mount washington and then doing it again. My ears are still popping. It was nice to see the top of a volcano, but next time i will buy the picture book.
It is a 26 mile straight up climb. You occasionally pass these health freaks who are cycling up like a retarded Lance Armstrong. They do like 10 revolutions on the pedals for every 2 feet. Seriously some people have to get a life and just chill out and drink more.
We went from there to the road to Hana. A six hour windy road to no where. We stopped a a waterfall, hwere Shaun and craig jumped from 60 feet through the waterfall. Of course Craig landed on a tree limb and scraped his back. Shit just happens to him. I am now a believer.
Back to the ship for a crappy dinner in the liberty restaurant. They make the food sound really like something from a gourmet cookbook, but it is stuff you would serve kids in a college cafeteria. the steaks are the hieght of a shoe sole and taste like it.
As I said, this is a DEAD geriatric ship. No sense trying to find a party, so off to bed after dinner.
I am screaming for a party. if i had Greg, Donnie, or Artie the one man party with me, I know that we could stir up some trouble on this love boat.
I still love my room I could spend the whole week in here.
After a great night with MY relatives, it is off to the boat with the in-laws. The plan was to surf at Waikiki and then go to the boat to check in at 12. We surfed, Craig somehow lost his sunglasses. I am starting to believe him when he says that “shit only happens to him”.
We are taking our turns wheeling nana around. They wont let me do it, as everyone is afraid that I will give her the OJ Simpson. ( remember that scene in naked gun when they push him down the stairs of the stadium in the wheelchair) Haha I would never ever do it…. I get a bad rap.
The boat is just ok based on others that we have cruised. The one difference is that I am used to a racauous crowd. This is the deadest bunch of folks I have ever met. I asked the bartender if it gets better and she said ah “NO” this is our biggest night. I scanned the boat at 11:00 and there were no more than 20 people awake, and all the bars were closed but one, and we were the only ones in it.
THIS IS NOT A FULL MONTY TYPE OF CRUISE
The one upside to this cruise, is that we decided to upgrade our room when we had the opportunity. OMG! This room is sick. It maybe one of the finest rooms I have ever stayed in anywhere. Mahogany walls, expresso machine, coaches, flowers, a huge deck ( always wanted a huge deck) It is the the HOH room in big brother though. We get people in and out all day. That is cool though. It keeps me from attacking JOJO every chance I get.
Everyone got their luggage except me. I found out that mine was in security. I got caught smuggling contraband. I had to go to the belly of the boat and beg forgiveness and for them to give me my Captain Morgan back. Success! I used a little charm, and i am now enjoying a Captain and coke on the veranda.
Tomorrow is Maui and the zipline tour. We are going to try to find a bar on the island with people that have a pulse.
Travel day. Let me just say one thing about Hawaii. It is too friggin far. OMG it took like a whole day to get here.
lets talk about flying for a second there are some things that bother me about flying. One is seat “b” or the dreaded middle seat. I CANNOT sit in it. I am too big. The window seat is ok, but you are jammed into the window and if you need to get up, you know that the people in the other two seats are asleep. The aisle seat sucks too, because my shoulder hangs out into the aisle and everyone including the flight attendants cart hits me with every pass.
How about the gas passer. I sat next to a dude that had uncontrollable flatulations. He kept shitting himself all day
They do not take cash on the plane any longer, and no peanuts anymore either.
Homeland security is another matter. I love the good old days, when you just walked on the plane without a cavity search.
Is it me? Do they see me book a ticket and automatically book a half dozen screaming babies on the same plane.
How about the elbow battle. You have to fight with the person for armrest supremecy.
Why is it that everytime they ask for volunteers to get bumped, that I am always in a hurry to get somewhere and a hurry to get home. I want one of those free trips some time.
anyway after all the trials and tribulations of the flight I was able to see my sister and her two kids in Honolulu. I am a huge family guy, and this was a very big deal for me. I caught up with Ashley and Alexandra, and I was especially happy about seeing Billy ( William ) for the first time. What a great kid.
At my age, staying up 24 straight hours is not a good idea.
Definition of an Irish husband:
He hasn’t kissed his wife for twenty
years, but he will kill any man who does.
—————————————————
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
——————————————-
The late Bishop Sheen stated that
the reason the Irish fight so often
among themselves is that they’re
always assured of having a worthy opponent.
——————————————-
An American lawyer asked, “Paddy, why
is it that whenever you ask an Irishman
a question, he answers with another
question?
“Who told you that?” asked Paddy.
————————————–
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery.
The jury foreman came out and
announced, “Not guilty.”
“That’s grand!” shouted Reilly.
“Does that mean I can keep the money?”
——————————————
Irish lass customer: “Could I be trying
on that dress in the window?”
Shopkeeper: “I’d prefer that you use
the dressing room.”
——————————————–
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen,
“Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase
on the mantle piece?”
“No,” said himself, “but I’m gettin’
closer all the time.”
—————————————-
Q. What do you call an Irishman
who knows how to control a wife?
A. A bachelor.
————————————
Finnegan: My wife has a terrible
habit of staying up ’til two o’clock
in the morning. I can’t break her of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin’
at that time?
Finnegan: Waitin’ for me to come home.
—————————————
Slaney phoned the maternity ward
at the hospital.”Quick!” He said.
“Send an ambulance, my wife is
goin’ to have a baby!”
“Tell me, is this her first baby?”
the intern asked.
“No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin’.”
——————————————
“O’Ryan,” asked the druggist, “did that
mudpack I gave you improve your wife’s appearance?”
“It did surely,” replied O’Ryan, “but it
keeps fallin’ off!”
—————————————
Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds
who sat up all night on their honeymoon
waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
—————————————
My mother wanted me to be a priest.
Can you imagine giving up your sex
life and then once a week people come
in to tell you the details and highlights
of theirs?
=================================
One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked,¹ who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?
The blonde said it was hers. ‘Your dog seems to be in heat’ the officer said.
The blonde replied, ‘No way. She’s cool ’cause she’s tied up under that shade tree.
The policeman said, ‘No! You don’t understand. Your dog needs to be bred.’
‘No way,’ said the=2 0blonde. ‘My dog doesn’t need bread. She isn’t hungry ’cause I fed her this mornin.’
The exasperated policeman said, ‘NO! You don’t u nderstand. Your dog wants to have sex!’
(You gotta love this)
The blonde looked at the cop and said, ‘Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.
He has said repeatedly that he did not do steroids, and that if Mannywood did them then he should be banged for a year.
For being a liar and a cheat, Big Poppi should get banned for good and made to give back the money he made.
I could care less that he took drugs. God bless the idiot. He always seemed like a nice guy, someone that is straight up. But he lied and he cheated. For that I do not forgive him.
Big poppi!!! Be this. Be that . and be gone. It makes me think that you started taking them again in May 2009. How could you go from a dud to a stud over night?
Just my opinion. If you want to worship and make excuses for some fat bastard who makes $75,000 a game, and does not even play the field, then get in line with the rest of the lemming nation and kiss his lying cheating ASS!!!!
No I am not a Yankee fan. Born and bread Red Sox fan. If my mom was a lying cheating drug doper, I would not be fond of her either.
PS Varitek is a liar and a cheater too. Ask his wife. I do not have evidence that he ever took drugs. ( but he does have a big head HMMM???)
Dude lets do drugs and make millions!! and people will still love us..
I am lucky to have a friend like John Larocca. A great guy. He is nice to me, his friends, his family and anyone in need. There are only a few guys left like the ” Rock” A true GGG
I was lucky enough to play in the rock’s annual golf extravaganza at Quidnessett golf course in North Kingstown Rhode Island.
It is a spectacular course. It is in great shape with great holes and a beautiful clubhouse. The best part are the views of narragansett bay.
We had a lobster lunch with chicken, fish,sausage, chowder ,and a huge piece of apple pie
I played with Bob apice a member. I lucked out again what a super nice guy and a good player. The poor bastard had to watch me beat it around at about a 99. I suck officially at golf.
Of course i took some video. Check it out if you like.
This weekend we headed off to ptown with an armada of about 11 boats.
All I can say is that we are here, we’re Queer and we’re drinking beer.
We had a rough ride over on friday. 3 to 5 footers over the bow all the way and throw in 25 knot gusts and rain, and I was ready to drink and drink hard.
I did not disapoint anyone in that category, I got shitfaced , at napy’s John was our waiter and he was terrific, as was the food. We headed over to Johnny Doughs and I did shots lots of them. I broke the cardinal rule. ” never drink shots”
Back to the dock, where I spun up some tunes till 2:00 AM
The rest was a blur.
I got a sour stomach and attitude and had to turn the rest of the weekend over to my three gay friends Stan, john and Don Allan. ” The gay guy with a straight eye”
They were off to the Tea Party, where they all had a crazy time. I have a lot of pictures that I will post as soon as I get the sim cards from Ellen and robin.
Here is what I have for now.
Two homo's caught on camera " a Bear and his princess'
always smart to bring your own gay guy
Random girls from a lesbian bar
by far the best store in P-Town
I found this lost sole wandering the streets and got her and her mom drunk.
