Entries from October 2009 ↓

If you are here looking for content, I swear I will be back I have been busier than a one legged man in a ass kicking contest.
I have pictures and video to prove it.

happy halloween.

Monty

not many this week as my iphone was ruined at the Patriots game in that monsoon. I had to buy a new iphone on monday…

New Boat

Brian and Laura at Ed Sheas retirement party

Moira son and daughter in law

Artie Jenson

Staeve and darlene's new boat christened

join us for a fund raiser for mike. he needs a new fanny pack

join me in a fundraisor to get flack jackets for our Iraqi vets

1. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, “Morning.” He said, “No, just taking a shit”.

2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.

3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting, “Get this out of me! Give me the drugs.” She looked at me and said, “You did this to me you bastard!” I casually replied, “If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, “It’ll be too painful.”

4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why, she said, “Because I am trying to examine you.”

5. I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, “What’s up Abdul, won’t it start?”

6. My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at me and said, “Make love to me like in the movies”. So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled it out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. She cried. I guess we don’t watch the same movies.

Think about all the things in the world that you want to do.

But think about all the things that you just have to do.  Why? because you just have to, everybody is waiting for you to do it, and you are a loser until you do it.

You dont know why you HAVE TO do it, but people expect you to.

And once you do it, you could care less if you ever do it again, the pressure is off and you are relieved.

for example:

A hole in one. If you are a golfer and you have been playing for some time and you have never had one, people look at you like you are weird and they pity you. Once you have your first, you could care less if you get another.

SEX, remember the pressure you felt in high school and or college. Your friends were doing it and you were not. You just had to get it done. Once you did and it didn’t matter how fat she was ( corky) the weight was off your back.

Disney World. try telling somebody that you have not been to Disney. They think you have something wrong with you. I went, Never care if I go back, but the monkey is off my back.

Any others that you can think of???

Comments?

Slap Your Co-Worker Day is coming . . .
Friday, October 23rd !

October 23rd  is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday:  Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don’t care about?  Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you?  Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty; you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it?  Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY!  Here are the rules you must follow:

* You can only slap one person per hour – no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed…other than going upside somebody’s head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE !

Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping  on October 23rd….. and have a great slapping day !

YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS AT LEAST A COUPLE OF TIMES. THE GAME IS GREAT!!!

CLICK HERE

I was having trouble with my computer so I called
Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom
looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.
Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?
‘He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.
‘I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, ‘An, ID ten T
error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’
Richard grinned. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?
”No,’ I replied.’
Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
I used to like the little shit.

When did all this Purell sanitization shit start?
We never had this stuff, and we never got sick before either.
I am not going to lie to you, I do not do it.
I do wash my hands after i go to the bathroom and when i wake up and when i go to bed, but that is it.

I do not get these OCD freaks.
I went away the other day, and my friend goes in his room at the marriot and spends 30 minutes desanitizing the room with purell. He sprays the bed and the door knob, and the switch on the light and the phone and the tv and the clock and anything else you can conceivably think of. I think he is whacked.
So I called him today and they told me he was not at work, but home sick. Go figure!!!

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Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills
in your wallet were ever in a stripper’s butt crack?
If not, you’re wondering now. Have a nice day ..

So folks, always remember to wash your hands after handling money.

While we wait for the geriatric Junior seau to once again come back to the fold, I will tell you why we are not looking very well.

We have less talent than the rest of the league.

for instance:

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS_Signed Brandon McGowan, S; Vinnie Ciurciu, LB; Chris Baker, TE; Leigh Bodden, CB; Joey Galloway, WR; Nathan Hodel, LS; Al Johnson, C; Shawn Springs, CB; and Fred Taylor, RB. Re-signed Matt Cassel, QB (f), and traded him to Kansas City; re-signed Eric Alexander, LB; Wesley Britt, OL; Chris Hanson, P; Russ Hochstein, OL; James Sanders, S; Ray Ventrone, S; Mike Wright, DL; and Tank Williams, S.

This is the flotsum and jepson that we sign as free agents. God forbid old Krafty Bob spend any of his billions.

I have already told you what a bust we have been in the draft over the last 4 years. Ya Mayo is good. He should be as a top 10 pick, but who else is performing and has the talent to be a pro bowler. No one but the kicker.

When you see other teams sign player after player dont you just wonder why we just stockpile draft picks and elderly free agents? The Pats need to get younger and better.

if the draft were today and we had 7 first round picks here is what we desperately need:

running back

left tackle

tight end

quarterback ( dont snicker! do you think Bob is going to pay Brady?)

Linebacker

2 cornerbacks

What a great loss for tennis fans around the world

Hi Everyone,

I am not asking for anything!!!!  And do not feel obligated, we get hit far too much from far too many people for donations.

I get asked all the time for a donation to some politician, or somebody’s illness or somebody’s misfortune. And I usually give, except to politicians.

I really do not have a cause of my own. I like to sprinkle it around.

I do have a soft spot for kids and any cause they may have ( except sending cheerleaders to Spain for a competition )  I mean needy kids, poor kids and sick kids.

This year I am getting behind a charity for the kids of our service men. THE COAST GUARD KIDS. Sometimes the Coast Guard guys and woman get over looked, but they get paid the same and are in the same wars as the Marines and the Navy, and their families have the same hardships.

I am forwarding a memo from my friend Don Allan (retired Coast Guard)

If you can help fine. If not that is fine too. This economy is tough.

Let me know if you need any information. If you have any toys or clothing, Let me know and I will pick them up from you. If it is a check, mail it to Don Allan @ 183 Whiting Street Hanover, Ma 02339

Monty
Thanks for taking a moment to read this AND thanks to all of you that helped out last year. All the kids and parents @ Point Allerton CG Station could not believe that all of us as a group got together last year and helped their families out the way we did….. As you all know I hate to ask anyone for anything, but, this is my cause and I really believe in what these guys and girls do.
Christmas is fast approaching and I wanted to get a head start on collecting and buying gifts, clothes, diapers, etc  for all the kids at the station…. In total this year we have 16 children @ Point Alperton with only 2 kids being in diapers.

ANYTHING, ANYTHING, ANYTHING you can do is so appreciated. These guys and girls in our armed forces that keep us safe in the Boston area do not make a lot of money and most of the coasties that have small children of these  ages are just starting out in their careers and really struggle. If you can pick up a toy, or a sweat shirt, an outfit or diapers   ANYTHING, or send me $ 5.00 or $ 10.00 I will insure that every coastie kid has a great Xmas… If you pick something up call me and I will get it from you or you can drop it off in my garage as it is always open 183 Whiting ST Hanover MA 02339

The response has been beyond belief….you guys are all the best… the garage has so many toys at this point that I have contacted the Commander in Sector Boston and we have added about 5 more units to our giving event. Hopefully with the amount you are all giving we will be able to even add more Coast Guard Units and Stations to our giving list. We are going to have a gift wrapping party in the garage  once we are loaded up. Hope you ALL can make it.

THANK YOU all so much for your help and your generosity.

Your Friend

Don Allan

Coast Guard santa

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “seniors” who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.

Frank Duxbury is such a person

“I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you old folks do now that you’re retired’?

Well…I’m fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, scotch, and margaritas into urine.”

“I’m pretty damn good at it, too.”

Sensors that do not make sense!!!!

It is the little things that bother me. I long for the old days when you went into the bathroom and you did your business and when you walked out you turned on the water and washed your hands, then went to the towel holder and pulled out a few towels and went on your way.

Here is how it goes down now. You Pee  and then you walk to the sink and wave your hand under or around the faucet and nothing comes out. if you are lucky and it does, you might get a spritz and then you have to start the waving again.

I would say that this works 50% of the time. Watch some time in an airport or a restaurant. The guy walks up and starts the wave, he moves his whole body to the side. Still nothing. Then he hits the top, or holds his hand under the faucet nothing.

He then shrugs his shoulders looks around to see if anyone is looking and wipes his hands on his pants. How is this helping anybody.

If you are lucky enough to get your hands washed, the whole process starts again at the towel machine.

I long for the old days.

Do we have time to talk about those swipe cards in the hotel room?

What happened to keys?

You are either drunk, or have a hand full of bags and you stick it in in any of the 4 different ways that it can go. You do it fast, slow and sideways. turning it around constantly, hoping to get a flashing green light.

God forid that the card gets demagnatized.  Oh Ya everytime it fails, you look at the room number. then you look at your pass key holder in your pocket to see if you are at the right room and try again.

Keys and handled faucets were easier    TRUST ME ON THIS !!!!

NOW DAS WAT OM TALKIN BOUT!!!!

NOW DAS WAT OM TALKIN BOUT

It’s time for some Changes in Sports

Its time for Joe paterno and Bob Bowden to RETIRE!!

Its Time for the Patriots to cut Lawrence Maroney  He Sucks!

Its time for the Bruins to win something

Its time for Rajon Rondo to pick it up, or shut up.

Its time to replace Matt Light.

Its time for someone to challenge Tiger Woods

Its time for people to understand Nascar in the northeast

It’s time for Varitek to sit on the bench.

Its time  for AROD to take his Fall Hiatus

Its time for Al Davis to die or move aside

Its time for people in Cleveland to dump Mangini

Its time for Alabama to win the national championship again

Its time for Brett farve to retire for a third time

Its time to bring Junior Seau out of retirement for the second half of the year

8 North St
Hingham, MA 02043-2211
(781) 749-2444

Enter at your own risk. I ate there on 10/3/2009. I heard about it, but had never been there. It was terrible and not only for me but everyone of the 12 diners with me.

Liberty Grille Hingham Ma

The sign says “Food Hospitality and drink”

So let’s start There.

Food

The food ranged from poor to fair at best. I had the chicken supreme special with mashed potato and peas. I hate peas, and there was no substitution. There was 2 pieces of wilted lettuce and a slice of tomato on the side that was a ittle weird. The mashed was as thick and sticky as the paste you used in second grade. It is hard to screw up deep fried chicken, and a simple sauce. It was just very ordinary.

The rest of the party had surf and turf, chicken parm, chicken scampi, and pizza. Everybody was disappointed. The apps were Ok,  but the buffalo wings were so hot as to be unedible by the person who ordered them. No choice on the heat.

Let’s talk about the Pizza. That is what the place is supposed to be known for. I slid the special aside and tried mrs Monty Minutes sausage pizza and it was awful. tasteless and like cardboard. Elio’s is better.

I told someone this morning that I went there and they said WHY? The food is like frozen boxed food from Stop & Shop. They said that you get better food on an airline. Where were they before I went there?

HOSPITALITY

This is another matter. The waitress was mean, onry and downright rude at times. The place was just about empty at about 7:30 on a saturday night ( I am not shocked) and she even put her finger up twice and SHUSHED my friend Jackie. She was lucky she included the tip on the bill.

DRINKS

We walked in and went to the bar to wait for our party who had to park so far away, that they should have had a shuttle bus for them. We wanted drinks but HMMM no bartender. after 10 minutes of head scratching, a guy just finishing his meal at a bar stool said “do you want a drink”? We said DER!! and he says” I am the bartender, I was just eating”  We were then given drinks.

NO comment on drinks from the table, as cruella de ville our waitress was not going to get them too quickly.

OVERALL

Just a bad experience. Dine there at your own risk.

They ought to blow the place up and build waterfront condo’s

A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners.

The Asian lady behind the counter thanks her, and says “Come Again”.

The Blonde says “No, it’s toothpaste this time you nosy bitch”