an email worth repeating

For those of
you who have never been to “Bawstin”, this is a good
guideline. I hope you will consider coming to “Beantown”
in the near future.

Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

There’s no school on School Street, no court on
Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on
Water Street.

Back Bay streets are in alphabetical “oddah”: Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.

If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you’re on Beacon Hill. If they’re named after poets, you’re in Wellesley.

Massachusetts Avenue is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Avenue is Comm Ave;

South Boston is Southie.
The South End is the South End.
East Boston is Eastie.
The North End is east of the former West End.
The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named
Rappaport got rid of them one night.
Roxbury is The Burry.
Jamaica Plain is J.P.
How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly: **Say it
wrong, be shunned**

Worcester: Wuhsta (or Wistah)
Gloucester: Glawsta
Leicester: Lesta
Woburn: Wooban
Dedham: Dead-um
Revere: Re -vee-ah
Quincy: Quinzee
Tewksbury: Tooks berry
Leominster: Lemin-sta
Peabody: Pee-ba-dee
Waltham: Walth-ham
Chatham: Chaddum
Samoset: Sam-oh-set or Sum-aw-set but nevah Summerset!

Definitions:
Frappes have
ice cream, milkshakes don’t.
If it is fizzy and
flavored, it’s tonic.
Soda is CLUB
SODA.
“Pop” is DAD.
When we want Tonic
WATER, we will ask for TONIC WATER.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more than $7/pound,
you got scrod.
The underground train is not a subway. It’s the “T”, and it doesn’t run all night (fah
chrysakes, this ain’t Noo Yawk).
Order the “cold tea” in China Town after 2:00 am you’ll get a kettle full of beer.

It’s not a water fountain; it’s a bubblah.
It’s not a trashcan; it’s a barrel.
It’s not a spucky, a hero or grinder; it’s a sub.
It’s not a shopping cart; it’s a carriage.
It’s not a purse; it’s a pockabook.
They’re not franks; they’re haht dahgs.
(Franks are money in Switzahland).

Police don’t drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a “crooza”.
If you take the bus, you’re on the “looza crooza”.
It’s not a rubber band, it’s an elastic.
It’s not a traffic circle, it’s a rotary.
“Going to the islands” means Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket.

The Sox = The Red Sox
The C’s = The Celtics
The B’s = The Bruins
The Pat’s =The Patriots

Things not to do:Don’t pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd .. they’ll tow it to Meffa (Medford)
or Summahville (Somerville).
Don’t sleep on the Common. (Boston Common)
Don’t wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick’s Day.

Things you should know:
There are two
State
Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two
Hancock buildings (one old, one new for each).

The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weatha’:
“Solid blue, clear view….”
“Flashing blue, clouds due….”
“Solid red, rain ahead….”
“Flashing red, snow instead….” – except in summer when flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out!

Most people live here all their life and still don’t know what the hell is going on with this one.

Route 128 South is the same as I-95 south.
It’s also I-93 north.
About Bostonians: Bostonians…. think that it’s their God-given right to cut off
someone in traffic.
Bostonians… think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R’s except in
“idea”).
Bostonians… think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.

Bostonians… refer to six inches of snow as a “dusting.”

Bostonians… always “bang a left” as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.

Bostonians… believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
Bostonians… think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.

Bostonians… think Rhode Island accents are annoying.