Incredible story of luck and good fortune

Can you believe it? This guy wins 181 million in the lottery on a Wednesday, and then finds the love of his life just 2 days later. Talk about LUCK!!!!

Some guys just have all the luck

Some guys just have all the luck

Girl Scout Cookies

I was obligated to buy some

I was obligated to buy some

I just got a new batch of girl scout cookies.

Do I need them   NOOOO!

But you have to buy them when the neighbors kid shows up, or a fellow employee is selling them for their kid.

Why do they sell them in January and February when it seems like everybody is on a diet? Who runs their marketing campaign?

Why is it that they do not sell them in the stores, and why do they only come around once a year, like sex and the wizard of OZ.

I like the thin mints and the shortbread cookies. I will eat the coconut ones, but if I have a choice i am going with the shortbread first.

How come you cannot girl-scout-cookieseat just one. They come in sleeves so I suspect you are supposed to eat the whole sleeve right?

girl-scout-cookie

Quote of the day

You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the
wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without
working for, another person must work for without receiving.
The government cannot give to anybody anything that the
government does not first take from somebody else. When half of
the people get the idea that they do not have to work because
the other half is going to take care of them, and when the
other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because
somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear
friend, is about the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

Dr. Adrian Rogers , 1931 to 2005

Happy Birthday Ed

Happy Birthday to a Good Guy!

photo8

How to Hyptnotize a Man

Click on the picture

Click on the picture

Who is it?

Who is it?

Who is it?

Can you name this childhood star. I recently ran into her.

Who is it?

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Ratings Drop Capital Grill

I hate to do it, but I have to drop the rating from 5 star to 4

Capital grill was my first full five star rating. But after last ights dinner and service at the CG in Boston, I have to drop the rating.

I told the server that he was being rated and he said who cares I have been here 14 years and I do not give a shit. Well Adam, that was obvious. Nice guy, but not what I expect from the Capital grill. The food was subpar, and to many service errors.

I still love the grill, but it is hard to stay on top. You have to always try to do better. The “CG’ is resting on its laurels and its full seating. They might want to pick it up a notch at those prices. There are too many options out there now.

Companies get downgraded by standard and poors and the opther rating services. So why not the minute.

 

Better luck next time.

 

Monty

 

4 ****’s

Cassel Vrabel Trade

Pats get fleeced again!

It always comes down to MONEY with that cheap bastard Kraft.  Money is ALL he cares about.

First of all a second rounder for Cassell is ok. He will not be a great QB unless Moss and Welker get traded also.

If they did nothing and he went to free agency, they would have got a 3rd round pick in the compensatory category, so they moved up. not bad. BUT, had Kraft wanted to part with a few of my dollars , He could have recieved a first and more.

My question is why Vrabel. He is god and will still be good. He is a great person and a great player. They did not need to do that.

They could have got a first and used it to get Julius Peppers from Carolina, but that looks off the board.

Why would the Pats want a second round pick, when everyone they ever have is a bust. Chad Jackson ring a bell? Marquis hill? Eugene wilson? Can I go on? I could. They bust in the second round every year. How about Bethel Johnson. They must have got lucky when they got Dion Branch.

Other than saving money, why would they get rid of Vrabel and keep Teddy Bruschi, who has not made a play in four years?

Would KC take Matt Light too. I can only pray.

The other thing that amazes me is that the two players they traded were white. You know how much the Patriots covet white players. They are loaded with them. Maybe Obama and his era of change, is even affected Krafty Bob  and his gang of tight wads. We can welcome JIm Lariates in April.( the best white player available)

Does anyone think that they will ever use these 3 2nd round picks? no way they will trade them for future picks.

Hey guys!  The future is now. Win now before Brady retires, an before Belichek goes to Kansas City. He is stocking his team for the move now.

Candlepins vs Big Balls

 

 

I like to bowl once in awhile. I do not like big balls though. What do you like?

 

candlepin bowling

candlepin bowling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

or

Big Ball Bowling

Big Ball Bowling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

History of bowling:

Even though bowling has been the object of satire in such movies as Kingpin and the Big Lebowski, it is certainly a genuine sport. And, believe it or not, it may be one of the oldest sports in the history of the world. Over 100 million people in more than 90 countries practice the game, making it one of the most popular and universally loved forms of recreation on the planet. It has been the game of kings (literally), and the startling facts behind the origins of bowling may surprise even the most dedicated kingpin.

  1. Bowling was invented in Wellsville Ohio by Chris Winland
  2. Bowling was first done naked
  3. Bowling is the #1 drinking sport
  4. Bowling does not work with square balls
  5. Bowling is #1 sport in the gay community
  6. President obama has a 69 average
  7. Black people do not bowl
  8. After bars bowling Alley’s are the #1 pickup spot

 

Take the survey.

What do you prefer?

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Airlines gouge everyone

If it is not enough that the airlines over charge us, and then make us stop over some God forsaken place for three hours, when we could go direct.

Now they want to charge us for luggage, food and drinks. Eric states that ” Last week on a Us airways flight, I had to pay $10 for a beer. It was $8, but they had no cahnge, so it was $10 or no beer”.

Now if that is not enough, they want to charge you to take a piss.

MSNBC reports the following.

Ryanair’s chief executive said Europe’s largest budget carrier might start charging passengers for using the toilet while flying, but his spokesman cautioned Michael O’Leary often just made things up at will.

“One thing we have looked at in the past and are looking at again is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door so that people might actually have to spend a pound ($1.43) to spend a penny in future,” O’Leary told BBC television.

He said this would not inconvenience passengers traveling without cash. “I don’t think there is anybody in history that has got on board a Ryanair aircraft with less than a pound.”

A spokesman said the airline had considered the fee as a possible source of extra revenue since passengers had the option of not using the toilet on board, but added that “maybe O’Leary was just taking the p—ss this morning.”

“Michael makes a lot of this stuff up as he goes along and while this has been discussed internally there are no immediate plans to introduce it,” Stephen McNamara said in a statement.

O’Leary has a reputation as a cost-cutter, expanding Ryanair by offering low headline fares and charging extra for items such as additional luggage.

A Short Love Story



A man and a woman who had never met before,

but who were both married to other people,
found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

train

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,
they  were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in  the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,……….   ‘Ma’am,

I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet  to get me a second blanket?

I’m awfully cold.’


‘I have a better idea,’ she replied ‘Just for tonight,…… let’s pretend that we’re married.’

‘Wow!…………………. That’s a great idea!’, he exclaimed.

‘Good,’ she replied. ………….’Get your own fucking blanket’

After a moment of silence, ………………….he farted.

The End

Golf course math

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, ‘You graduated from Cape Cod Community College and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?’

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, ‘Everything but my earrings.’

Just earrings

Just earrings

Donna G ” Stalker”

Doona G and Kenny C

Donna G and Kenny C

My friend Donna G has been stalking Kenny Chesney for years. She finally caught up with him at these tennis courts in Little Rock Arkansas. He said he would take this picture with her and write a song about her if she stopped chasing him around the country.

Here is the picture, and this is the song he wrote:

“She’s From Boston”

She comes from Boston
Works at the Real Estate office
Down in Hingham harbor
Where the ferries come to shore
She never really knew how good it would feel
To finally find herself in a place so warm and real

She wears a Red Sox cap
To hide her balding spot
The girl she was in New England
Is different now and then
In all the local bars
She flirts and tells the boys while they’re talkin’
She’s from Boston

She comes from Boston
Talks to her family now and then
Through e-mails and postcards
She tries to explain to them
That education and occupation will have to wait for now
She loves the real estate and the gucci bags

She wears a Red Sox cap
To hide her balding spot
The girl she was in New England
Is different now and then
In all the local bars
She flirts and tells the boys while they’re talkin’
She’s from Boston

Her fingers dig deep and deeper in Sully’s back
She’s seduced by the sunsets and her golfer man

She wears a Red Sox cap
To hide her balding spot
The girl she was in New England
Is different now and then
In all the local bars
She flirts and tells the boys while they’re talkin’
She’s from Boston

She wears a Red Sox cap
To hide her balding spot
From Boston
She came to Little Rock from Boston

MONTY

It is cute that the girl from Boston let him wear her hat.


Irish Diet

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

‘Why, that’s amazi ng!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’

The Irishman nodded…’I’ll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t’aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.’

‘From the hunger, you mean?’ asked the doctor.

‘No, from the fucking’ skippin’

Ash Wednesday

Pic used with expressed pernission

Pic used with expressed pernission

Not sure I get it, so I did some research. I still do not get it. I guess it is because I am not catholic. I come from a dysfunctional religious family.

My Mom and brother were Catholic, and me my sister and my father were protestant. made for confusing Sunday’s. What makes it worse, is that we all think My mom’s family were Jewish. She could easily pass for a Jewish mom. She grew up in a Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn, and when I was a kid, it was not unusual to have Matzos in your lunch bag. Try explaining that to all the catholic kids who were all direct descendants from Dorchester in the 60′s.

Is that not eating meat on Friday thing dead yet?

Do they still say everything in Latin? That never made sense to me.

How about that hand shaking thing in the pew? and also with you!

Why do I go to a catholic wedding, and everybody gets up and leaves me alone in the pew while they get cookies and wine. Don’t they know that you feel left out? Maybe they should get a togo for me when they come back?

For a non Catholic, some of these things look strange to an outsider. But as Seinfeld says ” There is nothing wrong with that”

When I was a kid, I used to dip in the ashtray and put on a spot. As the only Irish kid in the all Catholic neighborhood, I did not want to be left out. I even joined CCD. They said I could not go to the classes though, I could only go on the trips. Imagine that. It was like going to work, but you do not have to work, you can only take lunch and breaks.

Good Luck today with your ashes.

I have some suggestions on that lent thing if you want to give some shit up.

  1. drinking
  2. smoking
  3. sex
  4. eating
  5. watching TV

The more I think of it, that is another ritual that the Catholics might want to look at, like the meat on Friday’s thing and the Latin.

Good Luck!!!   ( peace be with you)

Jewish Businessman

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was trudging through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried towards it, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.

The Taliban asked, ‘Do you have water?’

The Jewish man replied, ‘I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.’

The Taliban shouted, ‘Infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie! I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!’

‘OK, OK’ said the old Jewish man, ‘It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.’

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead. ‘Your f***ing brother won’t let me in without a tie!’

tie

Man Test

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet….

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer– it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog… ‘Killer, come here! I said get your arse over here, Killer!’  Now think about how you call a cat…’Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!’ Jeeezus, you’re pitched, you’re so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man’s world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you’re as camp as a row of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a ‘Decaf Soy Latte’. If you’ve put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you’ve had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free arse passes. A real man doesn’t have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a ‘fressier’ is & nbsp; you’re gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow-arsed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being an arse puncher.
Alright, I am not a homophobe, and I can name at least ten textiles. Hell I have a college degree in fashion merchandising. I can name all the custards.

But I am not gay. Do you know why? because I do not ever order ” Decaf Soy Latte”

Pheww! I was getting worried for a second.

Monty

Gene hackman vs Michael Caine

Before I get to the Oscars, just how many movies can someone make. Really?

Think about how many movies that these two guys have made. Just a clue. They both have made over 100. That has got to be maybe 3 a year. WOW! slow down guys. They have to be in their 80′s

Gene Hackman

Gene Hackman

Michael caine

Michael caine

Who do you think has done more movies?

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The oscars

oscar

The Oscars were on last night. Why do people watch them? Is it the red carpet? or the constant thank you’s. Who cares who wins an award for cinematography and best producer, or “best Boy” or best grip, or whatever crazy award they have.

Do you know who cares? the same people that when the movie ends they stay watching it for fifteen minutes while the credits scroll on forever.

5 Reasons not to watch:

  1. The endless thank you’s
  2. The winning movie usually sucks
  3. Who has seen the nominated movies anyway? They are not on video yet.
  4. Silly insider jokes by some has been comedian
  5. It is 4 hours to find out who won the best picture

One reason maybe I should have watched, is I heard that the troll Whoopie Goldberg was not the emcee. hasn’t she been the headliner for like 10 years?

It is like getting voted to the all star game or the pro bowl. By the time you got voted in, your movie sucks. But, when you were younger and really on your “A” game, you just sit in the audience and politely smile while some old geriatric wins because he or she is old and time is running out for them.

They should cut to commercial before any one starts a political speech.

Then there is the whole gown thing, where all the chicks get these borrowed dresses and parade around like mardi gras floats. God forbid someone wore the same dress.

Does the carpet match the curtains?

Does the carpet match the curtains?

As you can tell I am not a fan, But I would like to see that slobby millionaire movie. It actually sounds ok.

Monty

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I’m at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

Potatoe sack

Potatoe sack