I do not usually expose myself for my frailties, but I was called out the other day by my friend Cindy Traverso.
Cindy and i were talking and I told her that I love movies, and especially war movies, prison movies and most of all chick flicks.
I agreed to post my favorite 10 chick flicks. There are so many of them, I might have a hard time deciding.
Kate Hudson, Meg Ryan, Gweneth Paltrow, Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant, Richard Dreyfus W/E I like em all.
Chick flicks are usually put down as trite, sappy tearjerkers, but I do not cry or shed a tear. The only movies that have ever made me shed a tear are football movies like Rudy or Brian song. There is also that one part of the wizard of Oz, and also the sadness I felt at the Osama Obama induction ceremony ( that still makes me cry, how much more time do we have to deal with his shit.)
I digress.
TOP 10 CHICK FLICKS
1) When Harry Met sally
2) Sleepless in Seattle
3) My Best friends Wedding
4) Notebook
5) The way we were
6) Jerry Maguire
7) Proposal Hitch
9) You’ve Got Mail
10) Love Story
Ok I have been exposed, Let the comments come about growing a couple. low testosterone, Pussy, whatever else you can think of.
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’ The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95′.
The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?’
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made with Ken’s balls.
I have done it. Finally after 30 years of going to the gym. I have gone and got some professional advice, and I went to Fit Body in Hingham.
Lets see I have been going to the gym for 30 years. 4-5 days a week religiously, and I am 80 pounds over weight.
If my handicap moves two points, I go to the golf pro and get a lesson. Why then would I not go to a pro for getting in shape and losing weight.
My friends Dave and BW have been going to Fit Body in Hingham for personal training for 6 months now. They have lost up to 70 pounds each and they look better,They feel better and they like it.
I have been giving it a try. I do have to say that I hurt all over after my workout. I sometimes need help getting out of a chair, sitting on the toilet, or just getting a leg in my pants, but Bill and Tim at Fit Body tell me that this will go away, as I get into better shape.
If you are thinking about losing weight, toning up, or just interested in trying out for the next episode of Jersey Shore and you need a little assistance, then Fit Body in Hingham is for you.
I feel better, I am not as tired as I used to be, and my wife even says that I am my old self.
BW
Weymouth Ma
These are my before and after pictures
Dave G
Weymouth Ma
before and after
I have asked Tim for his best deal and he says that if you mention the Monty Minute, you will not only get a free workout and evaluation, But you will get 10% any future visits.
This makes a very inexpensive workout even better.
Best workout place on the south shore.
Strength Training-Power Lifting-endurance/stamina training-core/balance training-personal training-small group training-group classes
That is right, and I have been right all along. The Patriots defense is just God awful.
They are awful in all phases of the defense.
No pass rush ( the biggest problem)
Linebackers suck
Db’s are lost and too young. Wilhite and Merriweather should be cut today!!!!
The defensive coordinator sucks too! oops we do not have one.
Bill Belicheck kept saying that he needed to get younger and faster. He got his wish. They are younger and faster, but he should have added untalented to his wish list.
The JETS are going to kill people this year. They are exciting to watch.
The pats defense reminds me of my golf game. if I do not hit the green and I have to chip, I just pick it up, I have no chance. Same with the defense. Just give the other team a score and get the offense back on the field.
Buffalo had 30 points. They were averaging 8 before the Pats. They also missed a chip shot field goal. had two late interceptions when they were going in to score. hell the punter for the God forsaken Bills only punted once.
Chad Henne will look like Peyton Manning against this team next week.
I said 7-9 before the season. I do not know where the next 5 will come from.
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles.
They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.
Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.
‘Just how do you guys do it?’ asks Maureen.
The Martian responds, ‘Pretty much the way you do.’
A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.
‘I don’t think this is going to work,’ says Maureen.
‘Why?’ he asks. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Well,’ she replies, ‘it’s just not long enough to reach me!’
‘No problem,’ he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long.
‘Well,’ she says, ‘that’s quite impressive, but it is still narrow.’
‘No problem,’ he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
‘Wow!’ she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways. As they walked along, Mike asks, ‘Well, was it any good?’
‘I hate to say it,’ says Maureen, ‘but it was wonderful. How about you?’
‘It was horrible,’ he replies. ‘All I got was a headache . She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.’
Edward “Ed” Mezvinsky, born January 17, 1937, is a former congressman. A Democrat, he represented Iowa ‘s 1st congressional district in the United States House of Representatives for two terms, from 1973 to 1977.
In March 2001, Mezvinsky was indicted and later pleaded guilty to 31 of 69 charges of bank fraud, mail fraud, and wire fraud. Nearly $10 million was involved in the crimes. Shortly after his indictment, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but the judge at his trial disallowed a mental illness defense. After serving five years in federal prison, he was released in April 2008. He is expected to remain on federal probation until 2011, and owes substantial restitution to his victims.
Who, exactly is “Ed” Mezvinsky? He’s Chelsea Clinton’s new father-in-law.
Nary a mention of this in any of the media. If the man was a Republican, the news would have replaced the oil spill.
By the book, it has been traditional that you use the 10 and 2 position.
There has been some debate on this, and they now teach the 9 and 3 position, due to the impact from an airbag.
Here is the real deal! A Monty observation.
When you are driving, look around. Look into the car and look at the drivers hand position. This might seem strange to a guy, who is always looking to see if the girl has big tits. Or the woman who is looking to see if she knows the person.
Here is what goes down in real life.
Woman drive with their hands on the top of the wheel ( both)
Men drive with their hand on the bottom half of the wheel (one)
This is almost fool proof unless some guy is metro sexual, or a pussy, or has low testosterone.
If you are a black guy, you drive with your body slung all the way to the right, where you are almost in the middle of the two seats and you have one hand on the top of the wheel and you head is bobbing up and down.
I know that this is not politically correct, but it is dead on and true. admit it.
The only exception, is that when a woman is on the phone (90% of the time) she has one hand on the wheel, unless she is applying mascara, then she has none and drives with her knees. ( stay clear)
The only other thing that drives me nuts, is woman who pull the seat up so tight, that their tits are in the wheel. They have a two handed death grip on the wheel and they are almost pressed into the windshield. These woman are almost always the slowest drivers on the road.
This is the gospel, check it out when you go for your next ride.
They are what they are as Parcells used to say. they are a 500 team. Win one lose one.
I was the only person within 50 miles of Gillette stadium that picked the jets.
Why did I pick the Jets? They are a better more talented team that wants it more. They actually care.
Why else. Simply put, the New England Patriots have the single worst defense in the NFL. No shit the worst.
They are young, dumb and full of _ _ _ Shit.
The real problem is that they have no pass rush. they did get to sanchez twice, only because the Jets have the worst left guard in the NFL.
No rush = total disaster. Those young guns cannot keep coverage that long.
Pats still have no running game. No one does that runs by committee. they have failed to ever draft a decent runner except for a failed try when they took Maroney.
FYI Brandon merriwether sucks.
Devin McCourty will be a good player.
Brandon Spikes shows nothing. Myron Pryor shows nothing. James sanders shows nothing. Darius butler was played like a flute.
Matt Light was once again exposed. They have had the tight ends next to him the whole year to save Brady’s ass from getting whooped.
The worst performer though has been the GM
GM HMMMM who is that? that’s right we do not have one it is Bill belichek
The next worst performer is the offensive coordinator. hmmm once again BB
Ok then the worst is the defensive coordinator. HMMM ok that is BB too.
Well then BB said it himself every week ” we were out coached”
They have cut so many costs to feather Myra Kraft’s retirement that they have no players or staff.
Like I said, they are what they are. barely a 500 team.
If they sign Randy Moss, they should have their head examined. They should hire more white dwarfs like welker and edelman. OH! Thats right they just did, They picked up Danny Woodhead from the Jets practice squad. 5′ 9′
Maybe he can coach. At least he will run and does not have dreads or wear headphones when he speaks.
Get used to it, the Pats are the third best team in the AFC EAST. They might be the fourth if Buffalo can beat them at home next week. They came one mistake away from doing it last year.
One last comment, Brady says that the stadium is quiet. He is dead on. The fans at Gillette are lame. They are the quietest crowd in the NFL. I know up till this year I missed like 6 games in 27 years. I was always hoarse on a Monday. Now all the stuffed suits in the “luxury” red seats sit in the bar all day and politely clap. Pats fans are lame. I am glad I am home yelling at my 55″ TV.
There is nothing I hate more than to go to a restaurant and they throw down a nice basket of warm bread, and then bring out that frozen butter.
What do you do with it? you try to spread it it and it does not spread. it rips the bread apart. You end up getting one huge mouthful of bread and butter and the rest is just bread. Sucks too when you order pancakes and the butter just sits there and does not melt.
How hard is it for them to leave the damn butter out, or to just give you a stick ( soft).
They also never give you enough butter. My friend Greg takes the whole bowl and hoards it. He goes so far to stick them in his pocket. he puts butter on his steak, potatoes, veggies, actually everything. I have seen him float a pad in his captain and Coke.
Another thing that bothers me is when these restaurants fuck with me and infuse flavor into my butter. Honestly, I do not want basil flavored butter, or garlic butter, or strawberry butter. I just want plain salted butter. and plenty of it.
If it is not bad enough that I get hard butter, or infused butter, I hate it even more when I get no butter, and I get a bowl of olive oil. What am I supposed to do with that?
How hard is it to just give me warm room temperature butter?
With a body like Ines sainz, you have more than 15 minutes of fame in your life.
But with her latest allegation of sexual harassment against the New york Jets, she is going to have more than the 15 minutes that Andy Warhol promises.
Does she think for a second, that these neanderthal players are not going to harass her when she shows up at the field looking like this???????
Reminds me of that line:
The judge says to a guy. Sir did you intend to cause harrassment on that woman? And the guy says Harrasssment? No Way, her ass meant nothing to me, it was hers tits I was after.
Longest Nerve in the Body?
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?
It’s called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.
If you don’t believe it,
Pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye.
The best Hot Dogs on the South Shore, or maybe the PLANET>
This is not a drive by, and I am just a little hungry place. This is a destination. This is the kind of place that you get the kids and Grandma and get in the car and make this an event type of place.
As you drive down the road and you pass countless burger joints MacDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s etc. Sometimes, you just want a freaking good HOT DOG.
Well swing your car around and head to Pembroke Ma. Just off the highway at exit 12 ( past the Kohls’ shopping plaza) There you will find Hot Dog Nirvana @ Dino’s Dogs. ( A must stop on the way to Cape Cod)
Plenty of parking, picnic tables, umbrella’s.
Bring your appetite. You can get your dog any style. Try the townie dogs, Named after the surrounding towns. Pembroke, Hanover, MarshVegas, Kingston, Bostonian.
By far the best seller is the Monty Dog!!!! You guessed it, this gastronomical fiesta of flavor was made in the Montman’s honor.
What’s in it?
A beautifully cooked dog, in a melt in your mouth bun topped with onion, Chili and Jack Cheese.
Try to eat just one. As a matter of fact, if you can eat a half dozen of them, come see me and I will pay your tab….
Seriously, what could be better than a roadside dog, made the way you want it, a Hot Dog served by a HOT!!! server.
No gimmicks here, no guy in a hot dog suit waving you in, JUST delicious dogs that will make you come back for more.
On the 15th of every month, They serve the 2 pound tube steak dog. This thing is not for the timid. Try it, I swear it will be the best Hot Dog you ever ate.
Monty you are not Jewish, although whether or not my ancestors were is under debate.
The real reason I love Jewish Holiday’s , is that they fall during the week and whereas the Jews have off, I am working.
I think that is great.
Why? Because the phones don’t ring as much and the traffic is much better. Simple right.
That is why I love Jewish Holidays.
Just an idle thought. I am not a christian either and I take Christmas and Easter off, why would I not take off Yom Kipper and Rosh Hashanah
The more the merrier.
A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.
When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, “Is this a union house?”
“No,’ she replied, “I’m sorry it isn’t.”
“Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?”
“The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,’”she answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, “Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules.”
The man asked, “And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?”
“The girls get $80 and the house gets $20.”
“That’s more like it!” the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde.
“I’d like her,” he said.
“I’m sure you would, sir,” said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, “but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she’s next.’”
Hitch
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