Entries Tagged 'Blank VS Blank' ↓

I had this discussion today with someone who never does anything. They are too busy to stop and smell the roses.

I told him, that when he is lying on his death bed and ready to go, does he want to relish the memories or count the accomplishments.
They are both important, but in the end I think that you want to relish the memories….

What is the difference?

A vacation with friends and family is a memory.

Making vice president is an accomplishment.

Going to a big game with your dad or your kid is a memory

Redoing the basement or planting a garden is an accomplishment.

Watching your kid score the winning touchdown, or your daughter walk to the stage for an award is a memory

finishing first in a sales contest is an accomplishment as is graduating from school.

When you are lying there taking your last breath, I hope you are thinking about the memories and not the accomplishments.

Start today building the memories…………………….

Somebody asked me today if I was interested in staying at a bed and breakfast.

My answer is NO!!!  Are you shitting me. Stay in someone’s house with a shared bathroom and some annoying owner who can’t stop talking about themselves and the area they live in.

Most of these people lost their jobs, or could not hack it in corporate America, so they think it will be cool to buy and old house in some cheeky little seaside town where they can rent out rooms to strangers

Forget about it. Give me the marriot with my own bathroom and my own high def TV and a front desk, and a pool and a workout room and most of all some anonymity.

Save me from the wafer thin walls and squeeky beds and breakfast with some strange family.  I am out.

Marriot hotel and resort

Bed & Breakfast

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What do you like?

If you had a choice, what would you choose. If you were given $1,000,000 to build a dream house on the water, where would it be?

Ocean House

:Sandy beach, rocky beach, or a cliff. You have some options here. Chicks seem to like to walk on the beach. I am no fan of walking or the beach. you have the weather to deal with. Who knows when you come if your place is still there. You most likely cannot have a dock in front of your house. There is a beauty in the cacophony of sounds that come from the ocean. The changing tides bring things in and things out.

How about a LAKE HOUSE?

You get the trees and still Water. You can have a boat house with several different boats. You can skate in the winter and water ski in the summer.

It is quiet, you can hear the birds chirp in this bucolic setting. No one plunks their ass down on your beach and turns on a boom box. It is your beach and your domain.

I have a theory that woman like the ocean more, and men like a lake more.

What do you think?

I am a lake guy.

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So you think you’re so smart.
Let’s see how computer literate you are .. ….

*WHAT WOULD CAUSE THIS TO HAPPEN?:*

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*SEE THE ANSWER BELOW!
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keyboard crash

Women are like
apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men
don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and
getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that
aren’t as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right
man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top
of the tree.

Now Men….. Men are like a fine wine. They begin as
grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn
into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Share this with all the
good apples you
know.

I heard this debate the other day on the radio.

Here is my take on it.

IT IS RBIZE!!!!   IT HAS TO BE PLURAL…..

This is how I grew up. I said RBI’S.  Then some politically correct ass said that it is grammatically incorrect to say RBI’S

Fooey I say  I am sick and tired of these PC assholes anyway. I am sticking with rbize..

You do what you want.

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I had a discussion with Greg last night and he says he will only eat wonder bread. I have had the same discussion with Adams. This is a little quirky to me.

Isn’t white bread supposed to be bad for you?

So I looked up the nutritional facts. It is bad for you, in that it is loaded with carbs and sugar.

I am not sure what the fascination is. I thought you had to be under age 12 to have an appetite for white bread.

It does make better french toast.

Have you ever compressed a piece of wonder bread? It gets really small and almost looks like an eraser.

Wonder bread is also used to pick up guys I guess. That must be why gregory and Adams like it so much.

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Do I care? Sure I do. I have a preference, and it is for miracle whip. You cannot get it everywhere.

Some people will just not touch it. It is the same thing as Mayonnaise, just improved.

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I like to bowl once in awhile. I do not like big balls though. What do you like?

candlepin bowling

or

Big Ball Bowling

History of bowling:

Even though bowling has been the object of satire in such movies as Kingpin and the Big Lebowski, it is certainly a genuine sport. And, believe it or not, it may be one of the oldest sports in the history of the world. Over 100 million people in more than 90 countries practice the game, making it one of the most popular and universally loved forms of recreation on the planet. It has been the game of kings (literally), and the startling facts behind the origins of bowling may surprise even the most dedicated kingpin.

1. Bowling was invented in Wellsville Ohio by Chris Winland
2. Bowling was first done naked
3. Bowling is the #1 drinking sport
4. Bowling does not work with square balls
5. Bowling is #1 sport in the gay community
6. President obama has a 69 average
7. Black people do not bowl
8. After bars bowling Alley’s are the #1 pickup spot

Take the survey.

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This is the age old question. You can have both. I am living proof of that.

But if you had to decide which to have, what would it be? I have always believed that it would be better to have looks.

It opens doors. Shallow people will always talk to an attractive person.

They get the jobs.

They get elected.

They get picked out of a line.

Think of almost all singers. They are beautiful. Can they sing any better than some other person. I doubt it. But they are hot.

Same with TV actors,  guys and girls. They are all hot. Lets say there is a TV show about a hospital. The nurses are hot, the doctors are hot. The administrator is hot. the frigging cleaning guy is hot. AND they are all ballin each other.

This is just the way it is in life. Other than Bill gates, most of the ridh people are good looking. and They have good looking kids. Even if you are a bad looking rich guy who made a lot of money ( hmm Billy Joel, Imus ) Then you marry a beautiful woman. Billy Joel did not marry a Pulitzer prize winner, No friggin way, he married a model.           DER!!!

Boardroom

OR

Bedroom

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When on vacation you spend a lot of idle time talking about stupid stuff. yesterday we spent hours on end discussing whether white cheese was different from yellow cheese.I said there was no difference, and I was on an island (haha a little joke) as they say One man against the uninformed.Well I googled it up and looked into no less than 15 sources. Not one source could someone argue that the yellow color is anything but tasteless,odorless food coloringSo of course I am right again.  The funny part about this, is that after I relay this info to my friend with the large front porch ( The doctor told him to watch his weight, so he put in all in front so that he could see it) he will still deny the irrefutable evidence and swear that it tastes different.What do you think?What do you prefer?  

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What do you prefer?

  or           

I grew up as a pepsi kid, but when I went to a diet soda, I am a diet coke guy. I do not like diet pepsi at all. I actually like diet root beer better than both. Orange soda does not suck either on a hot day. You can have Dr Pepper that really sucks, and anything you put lime or lemon in sucks.

ENOUGH with the flavors.

Politics of choice:

McCain is Coca-Cola. As part of the incumbent party that has dominated the White House for the past fifty years, he is the real thing. He embodies courage, duty and honor. As part of a legendary Naval family McCain has a long history serving our country, his fighting in Vietnam and years spent as a  POW are legendary. His reputation has always been as a maverick. McCain’s strength is his experience. His weakness is that he has been around forever; he is not new and different.

Obama is Pepsi-Cola. Obama is the choice of a new generation. Pepsi said, “You don’t want to drink what your parents drank. You are the Pepsi Generation!” With a whole new taste and look, Pepsi stormed into the cola aisle just as Obama stormed onto the political stage. Obama is new, young, different and embodies the idea of change and hope. Obama’s strength is that he represents the choice of a new generation. His weakness is that not everybody wants a new generation to take over.

Take the poll and tell us what you like:

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SODA & SUGAR

IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT there is approx. 1 teaspoon of sugar per ounce of soda. So a 12 oz. can of Coke contains about 12 teaspoons of sugar. One teaspoon of sugar is about 16 calories. So a can of Coke has about 192 calories. If you drink a six-pac of Coke, you get about 1,152 calories! <>

Another way is to look at the label, which says that a 12-oz can of Coke has 140 calories. That means that the can has the equivalent of 9 teaspoons or 3 tablespoons of sugar. That’s still a lot!

Now who is hotter?

Sarah Palin? Or the Cindy McCain

Our presidential hopeful certainly has surrounded himself with a couple of hot babes.

Cindy carries herself really well, and she gets points for owning a beer company. She definately is too hot for the old man, but money and power buy that stuff I guess. Ya think that Bill Clinton would have picked a little better than that shrill Hillary. I guess he did not have the money, power, or cache when he met the wench.

I was a big Romney supporter till they pulled the “84″ runner up in the Miss Alaska contest. Move over Mitt, this woman is smokin. I love the glasses, and the hair pulled back. She is super appealing.

Usually it all goes out the window when these beauties open their mouth, but these two woman are not only glamorous, BUT smart, funny, articulate and sweet.

I need these two woman in my life for 4 more years, so vote for McCain and keep the hot chicks in the whitehouse.

Imagine you had to pick a dad for a day. Who would it be?

Homer Simpson or Peter griffin? or even that closet perv Mr Rogers?

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Another in a series of who is hotter?

Does it come down to blonde vs. brunette?

Is it the personality?

If you could sleep with one who would it be? if you married one who would it be? If you went out for drinks and were hanging out for the weekend who would it be?

Who had it worse? think about it? you hung around all day with horny little dwarfs named sleepy and dopey, or you lived in the attic with a control freak mom and two bitchy sisters?

You know they both got down and dirty. Both of them could cook and clean like a mail order bride from Russia.

This might be a tough one.

Snow White? or Cinderella?

Remember the Beverly Hillbillies?

Who was hotter Ellie may Clampett or that hot secratery of mr Drysdales Jane hatheway?

I kinda always had the hots for jane Hatheway.

take the poll :

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I do not usually steal someone’s else’s rants, BUT, I saw a guy bitch about croc’s the other day and I have to concur. They are hideous.

I did a little research. We owe this blight on fashion to a housewife in Colorado that experimented in her basement. So now Sheri Schmelzer is filthy rich. She sold the company for $10,000,000.( that is what Julio Luogo makes for a season) that is pathetic.

They are stupid looking. Every time I see someone wearing these unsightly things I want to ask why? Especially guys.

If you want a comfortable shoe for the summer, try a Sperry topsider, or even those sandals that look like what sparticus wore in Roman times. They are not nearly as obnoxious as a croc.

Let me let you in on a little secret. One that only I know about. Keep this between us, because I do not want the whole world wearing my idea. Are you ready?????

It is the can’t miss shoe.

Can’t miss you say? What is that?

Let me show you :

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Thats right, the can’t Miss shoe. The greatest invention ever in foot apparel.

Check it out! Both Brown and Black at the same time    (ingenious) you can wear it with any color pants. It matches all of your belts. it is casual, but also can be worn with a suit. It is the most versitale shoe ever made. It looks equally good with or without socks, and when they wear a little thin, you can wear them out in the yard as a work shoe.

There is nothing that this shoe cannot do, that is why I call it “THE CAN’T MISS SHOE”

Go out and buy a pair today and throw ALL of your other shoes out.

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Ok!!! for the many many woman out there that read the ” Monty Minute”

I have a question for you? If you had to choose, what type of guy do you go for?

Think about it. Oh ya John T you can chime in here too!

Do you prefer the construction guy with the boots and the tattoos. The guy that drinks hard with the dudes on Friday night and comes home to you after? he might not be the guy with pockets full of cash, or a portfolio of stocks, but he has the muscle.

Or:

Do you like the suit guy. The dude with lots of earning potential. Good looking, but no tattoos, cannot fix a thing around the house, but can pay somebody to do it. The guy that asks you what you want to do on a Friday night. He would ask you first to go to a game. unlike the boots guy who would ask you after his buddies turned him down?

Think about this one? Look back, if you had it to do all over again, you just graduated high school and you can marry the class valedictorian ( decent looking guy that will invent something big , like the cocktail cover and make it big) Or the prom king who was the quarterback on the football team? ( stud)

What do you do?

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I have a simple question today. Why are there two kinds of under arm protectant?

Why can’t we have both?

We put a man on the moon 40 years ago, so why can’t we have both? Why do we have to choose.

We can choose to sweat, or we can choose to stink. Personaly, I would choose to sweat, by why do we have to.

Revolt, call your congressman, write to the manufacturers. This has to stop.

I have gone old school and I have gone back to the spray. I got away from the sprays when all that stuff about florocarbons that were ruining the ozone were the rage.

Now I am back! I am tired of those lines you get when you put your shirt on after using the roll ons. I also hate the fact that you have to turn something every time you apply.

Would you share your deodorant with someone else? Of course not, but if you sprayed you would not have a problem with it.

One last thing, we send foreign aid all over the world, but do we ever send them cases of deoderant ? No we do not.

Have you ever smelled these third world dudes? they stink? They smell like rotten eggs.

We need to cut back on the wheat and rice and send them some basic Hygiene products.

Sometimes I wonder why I waste so much time thinking about this stuff, but it just pops into my head.