I have 11 keys, 4 of those circle rings and one giant key for the car.
The giant key to replace is like $800. It opens the door, locks the door, opens the trunk from 50 yards and will sound a panic alarm as well as open all the windows. Is that worth $800.
The weird part is that I do not have to use the key to start the car, or to lock it. You walk up to the car and it opens, then you get in and push a button to start the car, then when you leave, you push a button to shut it off, then it locks itself when you get 100 feet from the car.
So why the fuck do I need a $800 key? They should have put a chip in my arm when I left the dealership, or a card I can put in my wallet
Anyway, I can only identify 8 of the 11 keys. i do not know what the other 4 are for, but I am afraid to throw them away?? Is that wrong.
Another thing, I have 4 of those swipe things on my key ring. When did that happen? Do I get screwed over, if i go to stop & shop and don’t use it? The others I do not use, but I might.
I do not have any of those stupid add ons on my ring, like penlights, or furry animals, I think I have enough.
Check your keys, I bet you do not know what they all go to.
I played golf with a couple of friends the other day down the cape @ Quashnett valley.
Good course, fun to play. I shot 91 and only lost about 4 balls. I played with this guy Scott from Wisconsin that sells cattle for a living. I am not going to lie! He lost 53 balls, an won all the money. Go figure. He sandbagged us with his handicap till the money was on the line. he had 3 pars in the last 5 holes, along with a closest to the pin on the 4th carry over hole.
I just hate it when I get a taste of my own medicine. It is usually me handing out the shit.
The other two guys were Plumbers, so you know they could afford to lose. name me a plumber that is not a millionaire, or a soon to be one.
The meat guy had brought a big ziplock bag of beef jerky that he made in his basement. I tried it. It was the best damn stuff I ever ate. I am not a” jerky guy “( no jokes here) but it was fantastic. I am hooked. I ate tons, it went down well with the tons of drinks we consumed.
Golf, pool and then some boccie on the Cape. Throw in some rum and coke, and it makes for a long ride home, and a longer day in the office the next day.
Call me, I am ready to play again soon and I have to use my minimum at PCC, so lets play.
Monty
” lost a bag of balls, won all the money, but makes good jerky”
Two of Amy’s fav’s
” the old guy tried to keep up with the Montman” BEWARE!!
Once a year for a very short time, Rainier Cherries from the northwest make their way to the market.
they are the best tasting cherries by far.
If you see them, do yourself a favor and buy a bag. They are delicious……
Usage: Eating fresh
Selection: Good quality Rainier cherries will be large, firm and have even deep-red coloring. Rainier cherries usually have some skin discoloration, slight scuffing or brown spotting which often indicates high sugar content.
Avoid: Avoid cherries that are soft, have wrinkled skin, are leaking and sticky or that have any visible signs of decay. Immature cherries will be smaller and less juicy while over-mature product will be soft, dull and wrinkled.
Seasonal Information
Rainier Cherries are available late-June to early-August with the peak in June.
Washington is the largest supplier with cherries also grown in Oregon, California and imported from Canada and Chile.
You’ve been waiting for them, so without further ado here are the
> 2008 Darwin awards. ……………………..
>
> Eighth Place
> In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
> water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
> to retrieve his car keys.
>
> Seventh Place
> A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he
> ran” accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
>
> Sixth Place
> While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for
> protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the
> bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath
> 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels
> trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers
> using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was
> pronounced dead at a hospital.
>
> Fifth Place
> Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of
> a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
> flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed
> into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>
> Fourth Place
> Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends
> who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into
> his mouth and pull the trigger.
>
> Third Place
> After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
> door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
> store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was
> standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber
> announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
> The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers
> also drew their guns and fired.
> The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics.
> Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the
> shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics
> identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
>
> HONORABLE MENTION
> Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around
> at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the
> window to see what would happen.
> Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.
>
> RUNNER UP
> Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of
> them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local
> bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated
> and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30
> AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that
> no one had brought a bungee rope.
> Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out
> that a coil of lineman’s cable, lay near by.
> They secured one end around Bingham’s leg and then tied the other to
> the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
> tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall
> into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
> Bingham’s foot was never located.
>
> AND THE WINNER IS…
> Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his
> constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
> bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
> finally got relief.
> Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give
> the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast
> unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation
> knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a
> rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top
> of him.
> It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves a
> saying we see far too often…about ” shit happening”.
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning … uphill BOTH ways.
yadda , yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But now that… I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don’t know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3′s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ’ d usually talk over the< /SPAN> beginning and @#*% it all up! We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was!
It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn’t have any fancy Sony Play station video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘asteroids’. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or creens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn’t see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You ha d to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a friging fire. Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980!
The penny is the poor sister of the United States monetary system.
They have outlived their usefulness. They do not look like the others. Most people do not even save them anymore, they just toss them.
The penny jar at the store is proof that no wants wants to deal with them any more. We all agree that we need to abolish the penny! So what is stopping the treasury?
I have an idea? Why don’t we just round EVERYTHING off to the nickel. Brilliant right! I am sure i am not the first to think of it.
Try to pick the right penny…………………..
I cannot believe how many people did not choose the correct one! Take a look, and see if you can choose the right penny. No cheating; Do not look at a real penny first- I know you’ve seen a real one! See if you can pick the correct one here. Click on the line below to take the test. Click on the common cents below.
The Mint estimates it will cost 1.23 cents per penny and 5.73 cents per nickel this fiscal year, which ends Sept. 30. The cost of producing a penny has risen 27% in the last year, while nickel manufacturing costs have risen 19%…
The Federal Reserve, which distributes money to banks, pays face value for coins. If a coin costs less to manufacture than the face value, the Mint makes a profit. Last year, the Mint’s coin-making profit was $730 million. Mint officials estimate the added penny and nickel expenses will reduce the Mint’s profit this year by $45 million.
The most pennies cashed in by a person in a coinstar machine was by Ed Knowles of Alabama. Ed has no life obviously and he turned in 1,308,459 pennies and collected $13,084.59. I hope that Ed boght a life with his new found wealth. What a loser.
Do you pick up a penny when you see one on the ground?
Bill was our caddy at Pipping Rock on Tuesday for an outing.
What a great guy. You get to know alot about a person in 5 hours on a golf course. You figure out real quick if they are a good guy or a JERK.
Plenty of both out there.
Bill just got back from Torrey Pines where he caddied in the US OPEN. You can imagine what a great experience that would be. An old frind Billy Spears did that a few times, and he always said that he would do it again for nothing. To be standing right next to the greats of the game that is pretty cool . It would be like standing on the field while the Super Bowl was being played.
Anyway, I was telling Bill about the Monty Minute and I promised him he would make it, if he would start reading it.
Good luck Bill and I do not blame you a bit for all of those missed putts. As Wayne says, ” it is the indian not the bow” that causes all the problems.
It is friday and i am ready to head off on the boat to go to Salem for the weekend. Basically to hang out and DRINK.
So i thought I would have a few words about one of my favorite topics, habits and hobby. Drinking
I am not much for drinking beer, but i will in a pinch. I also never drink anything that i have thrown up on in my lifetime. Thank GOD that has only been a few times. I put white wine, jack daniels and tequila in that category.
I am what you call a junk drinker. I like to change it up. I never like to drink too many of the same drink in a row. This might have something to do with my ADHD.
My favorites are:
Captain and diet coke ( please no lime, it ruins the taste, I like mine with a cherry)
Anything with Vodka. Grey goose, Mr belvedere, kettle, sky, Effin are my favs. In a pinch i will drink Absolute, but bar vodka sucks. if someone tells you after you mix it, that it does not matter, they are soft and wrong. Those are the people that voted for hillary ( walk away and run from them)
I love the Stoli Doli’s at the capital grill.
My new favorite are expresso martini’s. I have got a little banged up on these delicious drinks lately.
Gin and tonic ………..Yum!
Blender drinks………great on vacation and or a hot day on the dock.
What a crazy rodent. Do they serve any purpose? I think not.
They are either bred to be kamikaze’s or they are in some strange fraternal order.
They stand by the side of the road and they just wait till just the right time and jump out in front of your car.
They never seem to know what to do. They run out then back, then out again. It is like they are taunting you.
Do you think that they stand there, while all their little squirrel buddies stand behind the tree and say “GO”
I do!!!
They might be in some sort of squirrel Frat house, and it is like hazing.
They seem to hesitate, like you were standing on a cliff and were going to dive in the water, and you were just trying to get up the courage.
Do you think they count? like 1..2..3 here I go?
Once in awhile, you get one and they crunch, like you just bit into 5 potato chips. It actually bothers me for like 5 minutes. You just want to say to them Why? What is so important across the road? So I always hit the break and give them a couple of extra seconds. It is the least I can do.
Do you think that squirrels get diverticulitis with all the nuts they eat? What happens when they run out? They could go to the 7-11 and get some planters?
Next time you see one of these creepy Grey fuzzy tailed little bastards, Speed up and hit the little dope. They are just rats with a bushy tail. Then all his squirrel buddies can laugh like hell behind the tree.
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. Greg who purchased
> his lovely wife Mary a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:
>
> Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that
> sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was
> looking for a little something extra for my wife Mary. What I came
> across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of
> the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse
> affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to
safety….??
>
> WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it
> home.
> > I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
> Nothing!
>
> I was di sappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button
> AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the
> blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
> AWESOME!!!
>
> Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Mary what that burn spot is
> on the face of her microwave.
>
> Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that
> it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?
>
> There I sat in my recliner, my dog Randy looking on intently
> (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking
> that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving
target.
>
> I must admit I thought about zapping Randy (for a fraction of a
> second) and thought better of it. He is a great dog. But , if I
> was going to give this thing to my wife to protect her s elf against a
> mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am
> I wrong?
>
> So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
> glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one
> hand, and taser in another. I put down my Captain and Coke ( with extra Cherries)
>
> The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient
> your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms
> and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would
> purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of
> water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the
> batteries. All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring
> about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really
> and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to
> myself, ‘no possible way!’
>
& gt; ; What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my
> best…? I’m sitting there alone, Randy looking on with his head
> cocked to one side as to say, ‘don’t do it dipshit,’ reasoning that a
> one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all
> that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of
> it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .
.
> HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . .
> WHAT THE HELL!!!
>
> I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me
> up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and
> over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the
> fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples
> on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under
> my body in the oddest posit ion, and tingling in my legs?
>
> The dog was barking like I had never heard before, clinging
> to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an atempt
> to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
>
> Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a taser, one
> note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you
> zap yourself!
>
> You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand
> by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would
> be considered conservative?
>
> SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
>
> A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at
> that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and
> surveyed th e landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of
> the firep lace . The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so
> from where it originally was.
>
> My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face
> felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed
> 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I shit myself,
> but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I
> saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe was came from my
hair.
> I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m offering a significant reward
> for their safe return!!
>
> P. S. My Mary loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
>
> ‘If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.’ I should have gone to the regular High School instead of the voke.
I do……….
