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GO PATRIOTS

!st Quarter
0 – hit 31 times, or 44 %
7 – 18 , 26%
3 – 15, 21%
4 – 5, 7%
6 – 1, 1%
1,2,5,8, and 9 have never appeared.

2nd Quarter
0 – 23, 33%
3 – 13, 19%
7 – 11, 16%
6 – 7, 10%
4 – 6,9%
8 – 3, 4%
1,2, and 9 have hit twice, or 3%
5 – 1, 1%

3rd Quarter
0 – 15, 21%
7 – 15, 21%
3 – 9, 13%
6 – 8, 11%
4 – 6, 9%
1 – 5, 7%
9 – 4, 6%
5, 8 have hit 3 times, or 4%
2 hit twice, or 3%

4th Quarter
7 – 14, 20%
0 – 10, 14%
6 – 10, 14%
4 – 9, 13%
1,3,9 hit 6 times, or 9%
5 – 4, 6%
2 – 3, 5%
8 – 2, 4%

so, you really want to get 0-0 or 7-3 or 0-7 . if you get like 2-1 or 2-2 0r 5-4 just hang yourself you are toast.

Mayor Mennino said that he thinks the estimate of Loyal Patriots fans should be in the thousands.

The Parade will start at city hall. Billy will be alone on a duck boat. The duck boat will go left on School Street, then left on Washington, then left on State Street ending back at City Hall. It will be an endless series of Left Turns.

Join the many fans of the patriots and Billy Cundiff, for what should be a great celebration.

I still cannot believe that kick, That thing ( shank) was left of Ted Kennedy.

MHK can be the only explanation for how this team is winning.

They have the worst secondary in the history of the NFL. The Patriots between poor drafting, cutting veterans, and injuries, have nothing back there. A bunch of underperforming draft picks, street free agents, and converted special teams players and wide receivers.

Manning should feast on this secondary. That is not even in question, the only question is whether Brady can come out of his coma and act like the best QB in the history of the game.

The Pats go as Brady goes. That gift wrapped game from the Ravens is the first time I have ever seen the Pats win a game in which Brady was awful.

Missed passes, bad reads, 4 interceptions, happy feet. I swear I was watching the reincarnation of Drew Bledsoe out there.

It is so strange, my team is going to the Super Bowl, and I have this empty feeling in my gut.

I think our only chance is devine intervention from MHK herself.

Thank you MHK for pushing Billy Cundiff’s kick (shank) to the left.

My God, Please tell me they are not as bad as they look?

Holy shit we are in trouble if they are.

Krap, I think those DB’s really are that bad.

Good Luck Pats, you need it. Please Myra, look over this collection of flotsam and Jepson.

“I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m a Quarterback too.
“And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet with you.
“Now you play a pretty good football Tom, but give the savior his due:
“I bet my soul against your D, ‘cus I think we’re better than you.”

The boy said: “My name’s Tommy and it might be a sin,
But I’ll take your bet, your gonna regret, ‘cos I’m the best that’s ever been.”

Tommy you warm up your throwin arm, and throw that pigskin hard
‘Cos the Rapture broke loose in Foxboro, and the savior’s in the yard.
And if you win you get to play in the AFC Championship game
But if you lose, we’ll never forget his name.

Tebow opened up offense, and said: “I’ll start this show.”
And the ball flew from his fingertips as our secondary froze.
And he ran the ball across the field, and made our defense miss
Then a choir of angels joined in and it sounded something like this…..

When Tebow finished, Tommy said: “Well you’re pretty good ol’ son.
“But sit down on that bench, right there, and let me show you how its done.”

Law firm in the backfield, run boys, run.
Gronk across midfield, blocking out the sun.
Welker in the middle, pickin’ up ten.
“Look out boys, they’re goin in again !”

Tebow bowed his head because that what he does best.
Tommy’s in the record books, history will tell the rest
Tommy said: “Tim, just come on back if you ever want to try again.
“I done told you once, you son God, I’m the best that’s ever been.”

Riddley in the backfield, run boys, run.
Hernandez across midfield, blocking out the sun.
Branch going deep, across the big Two O
“Didn’t even use Ocho Cinco”

Check it out:

Yes you read it right, a whole amazing island built right on a beautiful yacht. Created by UK-based yacht design company Yacht Island Designs, bringing a whole island onto a yacht.

The design as you can see is inspired by tropical islands, with huts, a pool and to top of that, a whole volcano that is sure not to erupt. Since this is a yacht, it comes packed with special VIP rooms, arcades, gym, lounges, spas and even a helipad. The volcano adds a lot of beauty to the whole look of the yacht, it also happens to have water flowing out of it onto the pool creating this amazing river complementing the whole tropical look.

The back of the yacht has a retractable beach deck where structures float on the sea making the sea accessible to swim in and of course grant access to various water activities such as wake boarding and jet-skis. The whole concept is pure genius and the result looks even better.

The top three reasons the Red Sox lost are:

#3   Terry Francona lost the clubhouse. He was too much of a players manager, and it caught up to him. He babyied and coddled the players. He tried to be one of them instead of being the boss. He called them all nicknames like he was a 10 year old. Peedy, tekky, millsy, poppy,Craw, Lesty You know what I mean. After awhile, the nuts were running the asylum

#2  Millionaires. They all make millions. I have to admit, if I made 20 million a year and 100 million over a contract, and I never had to work another day in my life, and my family and the next three generations of my family did not have to work either because I made 100 million, I would not give a rats ass either. Let’s be honest here. Money killed the team. No hunger from the players, or the manager who made $5,000,000 a year.

and the #1 Reason they lost????   Tim Wakefield. Ya Tim Wakefield. Think about it. Francona and the team dragged his old geriatric broken down butt out there for two months to reach 200 wins. He lost, and lost, and lost and lost and lost some more. He finally got his 200 and they sent him out to lose again.

They lost by one game ya 1 game. do you think, that any of those 7-8 games that Wakefield lost in his narcissistic pursuit of 200 would have been won by any other pitcher. Of course they would. So the #1 reason the Red Sox lost is none other than Tim friggin Wakefield.

Tim take a bow, and take your 200 wins and screw!!!

Brandon is slow He has no idea where he is supposed to be, or where anybody else is supposed to be. He would be riding the pine, if it were not for Mayo being out. There is a reason that Belechick did not start him on the team this tear. He is fat, and out of shape. I played the game over in slo motion twice last week, and he was a mess. Never in the play, and confused at all times. He missed his pass coverage reads and ran around the pile. He is being outplayed by two non drafted free agents in Fletcher and Nincovich.

Brandon Spikes just plain sucks. They would be better playing 10 men on defense. Sit your fat slow ass down and stop tweeting.

OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS

1. Bruins have no offense, do not blame the players, blame the coach. They have skill and they can score, it is the system that is the problem.
2. NBA  on strike. Who really cares. I really really wish that they never come back, and if they do, nobody goes. They come across, as a bunch of completely over paid spoiled players, and the owners all look like a bunch of megalomaniacs, with teams that they treat as toys, andopportunities to show off. Again does anybody care?
3. Detroit Lions are for real.
4. What happened to Atlanta Falcons and the Eagles. They are loaded with talent and they are floundering. If Bill Belechick had half that talent, they would never lose.
5. Cam Newton is for real.
6. Two great college QB’s to watch. Robert Griffin of Baylor, and Denard Robinson of Michigan. They are super exciting.
7. If Uconn goes to the ACC, The basketball program will be untouchable from any other conference.
8. Nascar Sprint chase. My vote is for Carl edwards, Kevin Harvick and Tony Stewart, anybody but Jimmy Johnson.
9. Theo Epstein is gone. The new manager of the red Sox, has to be a tough S.O.B
10. Patriots  13-3 if they stay healthy. I am wondering, if Algea Crumpler can get off the couch and come back. The crap that they have been signing the last three weeks at tight end is embarrassing. They should have kept yeatman. Also, I would much rather see Moss back than Ochostinko. Last thought, do you think that Junior Seau is sitting by the phone. He is 50 but, he has to be better than Brandon Spikes.

Did I mention that Brandon Spikes Stinks?????

Brandon the porn star

I read this statistic, and it got me to thinking.

What are people doing in there? Everybody is different. For me, I like to hit and run. No need to be hanging out in there, wallowing around in the smell.

Other people like to make it a getaway spot. They bring in books and computers. They have to get their zen on before they can perform. It is not unusual for some people to be on the John for 30 minutes.

If you are on the toilet for thirty minutes, one, your legs will go numb, two, you probably did not have to really go in the first place, and three, call your doctor you have issues.

I have a few other thoughts. I am a door locker. I think it is a private moment and I need to be left alone. Don’t talk to me, and for god sakes don’t walk in.

Three years sounds like a lot to be sitting on the toilet. If that is really the case, then you should prepare.

1. get a nice seat.
2. have candles to set the mood and create a scent.
3. install a window, or really good fan
4. have a library with books and magazines accessible.
5. get a Tv installed if you are a person who is dragging the stats down.
6. Most of all, get god paper. People that chinz out on toilet paper are just wrong and misguided. Save money some place else.

So if you are a lingerer. Think about the YEARS you have wasted on the bowl, and get off your ass literally and use that time in a more constructive way.

As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver’s door.

Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. ” I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,” he said.

“You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.”

“How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, “Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!”

“OH, MY GOD!!!” screamed the lawyer.

(keep reading)

“My Rolex !!”

I am sick and tired of every time I go to the supermarket, I am assaulted by some little kid holding a can in a cheerleader outfit looking for money.

They are at both doors. lined up in your face, or standing behind a table peddling their wares, or cookies.

I love kids. I love to help, but even if I give, I have some  issues. First do I give on the way in, or on the way out? If I walk by on the way in, I say, I will get you on the way out, and walk by. I know the little bastard is giving me the finger behind my back, or muttering cheap prick.

If I go out after giving, I am compelled to tell the kid I gave at the other door, or I gave my money on the way in. Either way, I get the cold stare from this pimple faced kid and her can.

Besides, what do they want money for anyway? Usually to go to Florida, to hang out for a week at Disney to cheer, or to go to the Caribbean to blow their bugle, or to march off to Nashville to play volleyball.

Jesus, I never went to Florida as a kid. If I did, I paid my own way.

I know, I know, my kids did it. they both did. They had too. They were forced by the team to spend a couple of hours working the crowd on a Saturday.

I guess we can not get away from it. There is a 50% chance that if my doorbell rings at home, it is a neighborhood kid with a sign up sheet trying to sell me candy. If I say no, they go home and tell their mom I threw them out, and then i am I am standing by myself at the block party.

Enough is enough, at least give me a clean entrance into the supermarket. I at least have the time there until I get to the register when the checker says ” would you like to donate a $1 to the Jimmy fund, or breast cancer or something or other where the CEO of the supermarket holds a big check up with our money and gets all the credit.

Do you hate telephone poles?  I do.

This is 2011. Technology is rampant. We sent people to the moon 50 years ago. Why do we have to have telephone poles?

They are ugly

They are dangerous. How many times have you seen a car wrapped around a telephone pole? If is was not there, think how many people would be alive today.

They are not environmentally conscious. It takes millions of beautiful trees to make telephone poles.

Why do you think that you lose your power in a storm? der! the wires fall off of a pole.

Do you see poles in the posh neighborhoods? No  in the city? No!, so it can be done. We need to rid ourselves of these ubiquitous, ugly and environmentally dysfunctional poles.

You cannot even ride a bike on the sidewalk without hitting one of the Godforsaken poles.

It is time to rid ourselves of these dinosaurs.

Sign my petition for the elimination of unsightly telephone poles.

Monty

President of the coalition for more stripper poles and less telephone poles.

Alright, now enough is enough. This fat tub of lard is another in a long line of people suing some company over something that is their own fault or or is no fault of the company being sued.

I am going to jump on the band wagon. Here is who I am going to sue.

1) The democrats, that’s right all of them. I have to keep working and paying taxes, because they keep giving my money away to everybody else.

2) I am going to sue the health club. I joined there 12 years ago and i was 200 pounds. I joined to lose weight. I have been going 5 days a week 50 weeks a year for 12 years, and I am now 250. I think that is grounds for a suit.

3) The Irish government and all the Irish people. I drink too much. Not because I want to, but because I am Irish, and I cannot help myself.

4) My mother, Yup Mom, I went to the dermatologist and I said how come I have such dry skin? and he says ” it is hereditary, go home and blame your mom. she gave it to you”

5) Buxton, who is Buxton? They make the wallet I have in my back right pocket. My back is killing me, and the doctor said it is because I sit on my wallet all day. I might make it a class action suit and sue all the credit card companies that have their cards in my wallet.

6) Dell, the company that makes the screen I am looking at and the keyboard that I am typing on. My eyes hurt from staring at this screen, and my two fingers I type with are sore with arthritis.

Boy, could i go on, does anybody know a good lawyer? I am suing everybody. I was thinking about suing somebody for sexual harassment, but I have been waiting my whole life for somebody, anybody to sexually harass me. I don’t think I have a shot.

Who do you want to sue, besides me?

I said ” are you shitting me? I am tired, my knees hurt. My allergies are killing me. I need a haircut, I have hair growing out of places that I never knew existed. Business is down, I am upside down on my mortgage, I am fat, I sweat too much. I think I have erectile dysfunction, pizza gives me gas, my car needs to be cleaned, The red Sox just lost 8 straight games, The Yankees are in first place, I can’t stop farting, and did I mention that my knees hurt”.

She looks at me like I have 4 heads. I said you were the one, who said How’s it going? I thought you really cared. She says to me while she is running to her car TMI TMI.

None of what I said to her was true, except that my knees are killing me. But it

ouch

sure was fun to see the look on her face.

So the next time someone says How’s it going? let them have it .

Monty

Did I mention my knees are hurting?