It seems like everybody is stressed to the max lately. We all have money issues. Nobody is making what they used to. Upside down mortgages, kid problems, marital problems, health problems, maintenance problems. Should i go on? I could for hours. We all have it, some worse than others. Problems are like assholes, we all have them.
So what do we do? Let it go. Deal with it. Stop thinking that you are worse off than everybody else, or worse stop thinking that the guy next door has no problems or stress. believe me they do.
Think about the positives, relieve the stress, smile. The problems might not go away, they never do. When you get rid of one, another appears, so be happy and for God sakes smile. I promise you it could be worse.
I received this email today, and the words made some sense:
STRESS
A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and
explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of
water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question,
‘half empty or half full?’….. she fooled them all… “How heavy is
this glass of water?”, she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter.. It depends on how
long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I
hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it
for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case it’s the
same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She
continued, “and that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our
burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes
increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.“As with the glass
of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before
holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time
practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your
burdens down.
Don’t carry them through the evening and into the
night… pick them up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment.
Relax, pick them up later after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy it
and the now ’supposed’ stress that you’ve conquered!”
1 * Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days
you’re the statue!
2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to
eat them.
3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the
middle of it.
4 * Drive carefully… It’s not only cars that can be recalled by
their Maker..
5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague
6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it..
7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
8 * Never buy a car you can’t push.
9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then
you won’t have a leg to stand on.
10 * Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
11 * Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep
late.
12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.
13 * When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you
live.
15 * You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the
world to one person.
16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are
pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different
colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a
detour.
19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you
today.
20 *Save the earth….. It’s the only planet with CHOCOLATE !*
Thanks to the salary cap, the greedy Jacobs family finally had to be on par with the rest of the league.
Charelli made some great moves.
I was not a fan of Claude and i still do not like the guy, but I have to give him his props. He did it. the guys bought in and played like champs.
I am a pink hat fan, but i loved every minute of the playoffs.
The gar bar was full every game. Time for the gar bar cronies to catch up on the Sox
Seidenberg was my MVP, although Thomas deserved it.
Chara showed class and kept out of the box. I would not have had his patience.
kesler could play for me anytime
The sedin’s stock is at an all time low. embarrassed by a rookie to boot.
We should have Obama Call their government and trade them Detroit for Vancouver. That city looks awesome. They think they had troubles and looting? wait till they get our gangs from Detroit.
Recchi is the man. 43 wow. think about that.
Segin, will be a stud, but not in Claude’s system. If he went to another team, he would be unbelievable.
Tampa Bay lightning were the best team the Bruins faced.
I am too old for parades. I have been to enough. My favorite was the Larry Bird city Hall parade. Moses eats shit i think he said.
four teams and four champions in a decade is really great. we are really lucky in Boston.
First off there are three issues when you are eating pizza to consider.
1) when you are in a crowd and you are deciding what to get. Don’t be a prick and say I want an anchovy, or I only eat veggie pizza. Don’t expose yourself for a pussy and say, I’ll have a Hawaiian. Listen to what the consensus is, and meet a common ground. Plain pizza works. When in doubt get the plain. If you are buying pizza for a crowd, get half of them plain, a 1/4 pepperoni, and a 1/4 veggie style, like onion, pepper, and mushroom. forget about splitting toppings. That is gay.
2) Pizza does not come in even sized slices unless you eat out of a box. What to do?
If you are the bigger of the two people go for the larger slice, and keep going for the larger slices till you have had 3. Then see where the other person is. take a smaller one. After you have had your 4 slices. Slow down and wait for the nod. If you do not hear from them, say ” are you going to eat that last piece”? Never say no, but I am saving it. That is just being an ass.
3)Always order more pizza than you can eat. there is a tomorrow with Pizza. You can heat it up, or just eat it cold out of the box. This is first come first serve, so if you get up in the middle of the night, go for it. If someone says ” where is that left over pizza” ? Say i dunno, maybe it disappeared. It is also ok if you pick up the pizza, to eat a slice on the way home. same thing with Chinese food, It is ok to have one of each app on the way home. If someone complains, send them next time.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, “Come on inand let me pour one for you! What’ll it be, Gentlemen?”
There seemed to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of the men ordered a martini.
In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis…shaken,not stirred, and says, “That’ll be 10 cents each,please.”
The four men stare at the bartender for a moment. Then look at each other.
They can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, “That’s 40 cents, please.”
They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. Theyhave each had two martinis and so far they have spent less than a dollar.
Finally one of the men says, “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime a piece?”
“I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix,” the bartender said, and I always wantedto own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime…wine, liquor, beer, it’s all the same.”
“Wow!!!! That’s quite a story,” says one of the men.
The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn’t help but notice sevenother people at the end of the bar who didn’t have drinks in front of them, and hadn’t ordered anything the whole time they were there.
One man gestures at the seven at the end of the bar without drinks and asksthe bartender, “What’s with them?”
The bartender says, “Oh, they’re all old retired farts from Florida. They’re waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half price.”
I have been studying this draft for 12 months. I started when they left last years war room with a dozen plus picks including multiple one’s and two’s and three’s.
I am conversant about at least the top 100 players based on info I have read from hundreds of sources. It is the same sources that everybody else including 31 teams use, because they all seem to pick the same players in the same area that the consensus has them.
Not BB he is smarter than them all. Or at least he thinks he is.
He is by far the best coach in the NFL, and maybe ever. But, I loathe the idea that he is shopping for the groceries. If he would only keep his nose out of things, we might have the best and sickest team ever.
Believe me I know that Devin McCourty was awesome. But no one else knew and I do not think he knew it. At the time, he just picked a guy who was slotted to go much lower, and was good on special teams.
Contrarian Bill always picks somebody who NO ONE else would pick. When in doubt he uses the three BB rules of the draft. Trade down whenever possible, two take someone who can do special teams, and three, when all else fails, take a white guy.
Nate solder is a good player, small but good. He already put on 90 pounds in college, so how many more could he put on. He looks slightly slender than me.
I would not have taken him, I would have taken Cam Jordan, not because i loved him, but der we need a pass rush and he was the most polished pass rusher. But beyond that, i would have moved up to get fairley, dareus, or Quinn. There were plenty of people ready to deal, and we have tons of picks we do not use any way, why not get a good player.
Ok now we have 28. The best running back available is there at a great spot. No brainer right. Wrong trade out and get another pick which we will trade out next year. BILL we need a quality running back, and mark ingram is good trust me. Hell trust everybody, he one more games in his carreer than anybody, he won the heisman and he won a national championship and he is a nice guy. Jesus does he have to be white too to pick him.
Ok now we have the night to think about our next pick.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………….
I wrote this on May 2nd, and never finished from this point. I was so mad at the time. I have had time to think about the draft, and read everyones comments and analysis and i still hate the draft the Patriots had.
They should have taken Cameron Jordan at 17 ingram at 28 or ryan williams at 33 and a lineman at 28.
The two runners are reaches that supposedly are character guys. enough with the character guys already. Lawrence Taylor was a complete jerk, but he could play.
More pick next year, big deal we will trade out again. or pick someone nobody knows.
The world can be broken down to two kinds of people.
1) those that drive in the left lane and
2) those that drive in the right lane
If you are on a two lane highway, see which lane you drive in. It tells everything about you. If you are going along in a long line of cars in the right lane with two hands on the wheel, and not willing to pass anyone, but satisfied to get where you need to go safely and on time, well, you are not in my tribe, or like me.
If however, you cannot stand the monotony of the right lane and it’s no stress lifestyle, then you are one of us. people who need change, want to move fast, who throw caution to the wind and have a mission in life and somewhere to be.
You might notice, that there are twice as many people in the right lane, that is cool, the world needs followers and workers. It leaves the left lane free for entrepreneurs and people on a mission, that seek freedom and adventure.
Think about who you are, and either get back in line, or pull out and pass somebody.
People in the left lane do not drive with two hands on the wheel. EVER.
I try and try to stay in the right lane, but it is way to frustrating. I cannot understand it really.
Today is my birthday. I have to tell you, I have always loved birthdays. I think they are special. It is your day if you want to embrace it. You do not have to share it with anybody, unless you are a twin. I am not sure how old I am because I lie about it all the time. I always tell people I am older than I am. If I say I am 60 , people say ” you look good for 60″ If I tell them my real age, they just say ” dude, get it together”
My last post was about a bug in my bonnet. I was not done. I have some more issues today.
First off, I hate corduroys They look great in the store, and they look great on skinny people They even look great the first time you wear them, and after that, they always look like shit. Baggy and worn.
While I am talking about clothes, Try to find a pair of high heels that fit a guy. It is impossible I went to 5 stores. I was looking to get two pair, to have high heel races at tea dance. I had a board with two man heats with a double elimination format. but you cannot find anything even close to fitting, even if you used duct tape. You should have seen the faces on the old ladies when i was trying them on.
Country music awards. Are you shitting me? I love country music. I was country before country was cool, but how do they have a new awards show every week? country music awards, country music grammy’s, CMT awards, academy of country music awards, ICM awards, tribute to so and so awards. grand old oprey awards etc on and on enough. By the way, you have to be drop dead gorgeous to be a country singer. average looking people need not apply.
Parking lot crazies. What happens to people in parking lots. They have no regard for arrows, etiquette, or lines. People scream around like loonies cutting across lanes. racing aisle by aisle, pulling out randomly, all to get 50 feet closer to the walmart. perfectly sane people become insane in a parking lot.
I love prison movies and prison shows. My favorite movies are cool hand luke and shawshank redemption. My favorite tv shows are lockup, hard time and american jails. Is that weird?
I am sick of leaves, mulch and grass. It is the vicious cycle of life that never ends.
Do you know what a forsythia is? It is that ubiquitous bush that EVERYBODY has
in their yard in the spring. It is yellow and blooms in April. The thing never stops growing. Everybody has one, because after a long winter the first nice day people go to the garden center to get a plant and the only one that is blooming and is cheap is the forsythia, so EVERYBODY has one. Take the challenge. drive down the road in two weeks and I dare you to find a house that does not have this Yellow bush.
Smoking looks stupid. I did it for years, but when I see people smoking in a car or outside an office or a bar, it looks stupid. It makes them look stupid. But what annoys me more is when someone says to a smoker ” you should quit” No shit there is not a smoker alive that does not want to quit der! it is harder than hitting the lottery. If you were never a smoker, you will never understand what a monkey it is. If you smoke, keep trying, it will work one of these days.
Diets are the same, but harder, if you quit smoking, you do it cold turkey, but if you diet, you still have to eat. The temptation is always there. I have invented over a dozen diets, have you tried any of them?
Monday diet- eat every day like it is Monday
Rip Van winkle diet- just sleep all day, you lose two pounds every night
girlfriend diet- Guys that lose weight usually have a girlfriend
tumor diet- remove the growth and lose weight
Mexican diet- Go on vacation to Mexico and drink the water
ADD is tough.
Ten things you cannot do with ADD:
fish
sit at a bar
wait in line
meetings
long dinners
watch baseball
sorry I lost my concentration at 6
have a great day.
Monty
They shot Martin Luther king 43 years ago today. too bad that guy ” got it”
I do not know if JFK ” got it” , but if it was good looking, he ” hit it”
I have a bug in my bonnet about some stuff. What the fuck is a bug in your bonnet anyway? What a stupid saying.
Whats bothering me lately? HMMM!
People who use big words to say a common thing. People who say things like bifurcate instead of saying ” cut in half” What are they doing just trying to look smarter or sumptin.
People who pick sides in the NFL labor negotiations. Are you shitting me, they are all rich and need to just get their asses back to work. I can find other things to do. Football is the LAST sport I watch anymore. I could do without that too.
Going 45 miles an hour on the highway because you are talking on the fucking phone. Are you serious. In the old days if someone was doing that, they were shitfaced or 100. now it is every other car. That is the height of selfishness and narcissism ( oops big word that could have been said differently) How important is that call, to screw up all the traffic. Hello, this is 2011 we muti-task. talking and keeping up to the guy in front of you is easy and a simple multi task function.
I hate it when you go to the store and they give you one of those little plastic bags with one item in it. Fill the thing up. I can carry it I promise. What happened to paper or plastic. You do not even get a choice.
Another thing I hate is specials at a restaurant that never change. They staple them on the front. You can tell the special pad is years old, so if it is the special every day, put it in the the damn menu.
Brandon Merriwether sucks. He is a punk, was a punk will always be a punk. ya he stomped on peoples heads in college, and now he is being looked into regarding a shooting. My guess is he has 6 kids with 6 woman, and he is the piece of dogshit we all know he is. He also cannot play a lick and is not worth millions. Money enables morons.
Professional reality show people are a new phenomenon ( is that word too big fo ya?) Boston Rob, Omarosa, jose conseco, and the worst one is that mickey mouse faced weasel Bethany Frankel somebody or other. She is making millions on a half dozen reality shows. Not long before she is dancing with the friggin stars.
I give, and I give and I give back. I feel good when I go to bed that I give my share. But why the fuck do I have to be asked at every damn store to give a buck to this or that charity, so that some papa ginos or stop and shop exec can hand a big check that me and you paid for to some charity. I do not get the credit nor do you, and when the pimple faced kid says “sir would you like to give a dollar to the hemorrhoid relief fund” they make me feel like I have to explain to the little shit why I am not. They are preying on my conscience. Then when I am just calming down from the charitable harassment and the one item in my bag, I get some snot nosed little kid and her overbearing mom trying to push girl scout cookies down my throat as I leave. OR ” sir can you give me some money so I can go cheer in Aruba for a week” Are you shitting me?
I have not been on a vacation for almost two years, and I had never even been on a plane till I was 22, and this 9 year old wants my money to go to Aruba. No way Jose…
Why is everybody so high on the Red Sox? They picked up two good bats, YA! they lost two good bats YA! ok der, that is a swap. What makes them better?
Are doctors drug dealers? or are they pyramid marketers. Everytime I go to the doctor, even when I feel fine, I get a new pill, and they send me to three of their “associates” I have a cold, and the next thing I know, I am going here for a chest x-ray, and there for an MRI, and another place to see an allergist. They all give me pills and all I needed was chicken soup. another thing, take my advice never get the damn flu shot. I swore I would never do it again. Every time I get it, I get the flu, so I did not for the last three years and no flu. I got talked into it two weeks ago, and three days later i was throwing up in a bucket and shitting in my pants.
If you ever wonder where this country is going, just sit in the lobby of a social security office for an hour. The money that fly’s out of there is stupid. The people barely can converse and the cons and scams are enough to entertain you.
Two things to remember in life. Do not tell anybody you own a pickup, or can fix a computer. You will never stop hearing from them.
My favorite song right now is S&M by Rhianna.
I want to learn the Dougie dance
The economy is not on the rebound
I did not vote for him.
Iphone is the best phone out there, and the IPAD is the best invention ever, unless you are male and 75, then it would be Viagra I guess.
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity- Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability-The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi- If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..
Variation Law- If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters-The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance.. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces- The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance- If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy-As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors’ Law- If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.
Good luck to all of you out there today. Make sure that you rush out and get a card.
Get flowers and or candy and come home with a big smile.
When your wife or husband smiles and says ” thank you you are so SWEET, I love you” Then you can take a big Whew and take a sigh of relief. You are all set for another year.
You can go back to the couch and go right back to what you do everyday. You can flirt with that co worker, or you can text your cell phone affair, or whatever you do.
Not Me.
I remember one time I ran into a flower store on V-day with a co worker. We got a big boquet to bring home. As we were walking out the door, the store owner said ” hey guys, we are open the other 364 days too. And it hit me, what a fraud I was. Even though I was not a fraud, I was falling into the trap.
No Me this year. I am not getting a card, I am not getting flowers or going out to dinner. I am going to be myself.
There is not a day that goes by that I do not tell my wife how much I love her, and how great she looks, Hell there is hardly an hour. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and she is all I ever need.
So NOT ME today, I am going to be myself and my valentines day will be the other 364 days, when the flower shop is empty and the prices are lower.
Happy Valentines day to all, but not you Jo Jo I will see you tommorow.
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you this: “Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons? “Well, as a matter of fact, I have!” I’ve been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers, and I voted for Obama.”
You know when you think of something and you panic and start to sweat a little.
I looked at my sneakers that I have worn 500 times at least and they were looking a little worn and the support was breaking down. Not to mention, that they may have been getting that bad sneaker smell. You know the smell. Your sneakers get when they get wet, and then the smell seeps into the cushion part and you cannot EVER get it out. Even Doctor Scholls cannot get rid of sneaker smell.
Anyway, I have to buy some sneakers. But, why am I anxious? Because if you are over forty, and have the slighest bit of dignity, you would not be caught dead in 99% of all the sneakers made today.
You go into the local sneaker store and you are hit with a array of colors that makes youthink that you may have dropped acid in the 60′s . The colors are not even on a pantone chart. They glow and flash. They have stripes, slashes and cutouts in the side and the heel.
Really, can a guy get a break. You do not have to do research to know that the baby boom generation is real. There are 100′s of millions of us and we still like sneakers.
Why can’t we just get a a pair of white sneakers without the crap on them. I do not mean the old chuck Taylor converses( they have even screwed with these), but just regular sneakers.
Anyway, I am on my way to the store, I will let you know what I find, but if you are over forty, you can feel my pain and anxiety.
They even screwed with the chuck taylor Converse sneakers
Who are those guys? They are your New England Patriots. All signed through next season. That is half the team. You think we have talent? We need more than this to compete.
But we also have:
Zoltan Mesko
Aaron Hernandez
Brandon Deadrick
Kyle Love
Ron Brace
Myron Pryor
Kyle Arrington
Rob Ninkovich
Brandon Meriweather
Brandon Tate
Darius Butler
Ty Warren
gerrard page
Mike Wright
Tully Banta Cain
James Sanders
Gary Guyton
Nick Kazur
Dan Connolly
Danny woodhead
Feeling any better? That is 45 of the 48 man roster. Funny how people think the Patriots are loaded with talent. How many of these jerseys are sold a year?
I am finally able to put sharp objects back in the house. It just feels better now that the Jets lost.
I keep wondering what the Pats should do? They are loaded with draft choices, and have tons of money and cap space.
The more i think about it, the more I think we should just draft defense, defense and more defense.
Defense wins in then post season. Defense defines the character of your team. I love good defense.
Put some more studs around Wilfolk, Mayo, Mccourty, Bodden and Ty Warren.
What they really need is a stud strong safety. Think about the teams that have them and what they mean to their teams. Palamulu, ed reed, eric berry, earl Thomas, bob sanders etal, these guys define your defense. They scare people. Merriweather sucks and scares no one, but the fans.
On offense, sign Mankins, dump Light, move volmer to left tackle, replace volmer at right tackle with Nick Kazur. Stick with the rb’s and add one of the two Miami rb’s in Ronnie Brown or Ricky williams. Sign a free agent wide out. Ocho, steve smith, vincent. There are ten good one’s available.
If the pats do it right, They will be set for the next ten years.
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on step 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood, so steps 1-4 are unnecessary.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection… again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay Jewelers.
17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
