how long does the average person spend on the toilet?

The average person spends Three years of their life on the toilet. That is a FACT.

I read this statistic, and it got me to thinking.

What are people doing in there? Everybody is different. For me, I like to hit and run. No need to be hanging out in there, wallowing around in the smell.

Other people like to make it a getaway spot. They bring in books and computers. They have to get their zen on before they can perform. It is not unusual for some people to be on the John for 30 minutes.

If you are on the toilet for thirty minutes, one, your legs will go numb, two, you probably did not have to really go in the first place, and three, call your doctor you have issues.

I have a few other thoughts. I am a door locker. I think it is a private moment and I need to be left alone. Don’t talk to me, and for god sakes don’t walk in.

Three years sounds like a lot to be sitting on the toilet. If that is really the case, then you should prepare.

  1. get a nice seat.
  2. have candles to set the mood and create a scent.
  3. install a window, or really good fan
  4. have a library with books and magazines accessible.
  5. get a Tv installed if you are a person who is dragging the stats down.
  6. Most of all, get god paper. People that chinz out on toilet paper are just wrong and misguided. Save money some place else.


So if you are a lingerer. Think about the YEARS you have wasted on the bowl, and get off your ass literally and use that time in a more constructive way.